10 Tips from a Former Judge to Make You a Better Parent after Separation and Divorce

A former Family Court Judge, Lawrence R. Jones, offers these tips – and an eye-opening music video – to help you become a better parent and help your children after separation and divorce.

better parent dad and daughter on a sofa

Want to be a Better Parent to Your Children?

Here are 10 things to do – or not to do – to be a better parent and to help your children adjust to separation and divorce. Read these tips, then watch the video, below.
  1. Accept and support the reality that absent truly exigent circumstances, a child generally needs, and has a right, to have both parents in his or her life, even after separation or divorce;
  2. When dealing with the other parent, let your child see you act in a consistently mature and respectful manner;
  3. Do not talk negatively to your child, or in front of your child, about the other parent;
  4. Do not bring your child to your lawyer’s office;
  5. Do not interrogate your child about what the other parent is saying or doing;
  6. Do not make your child feel like he or she has to “choose sides” between parents;
  7. Do not embarrass your child by arguing with, or yelling at, the other parent in public;
  8. Do not show orders, affidavits, and other court papers to your child;
  9. Do not use your child as a messenger between parents;
  10. Do not obstruct your child’s opportunity to enjoy holiday time, vacations, and other positive experiences with the other parent.

"Point C": a 5-Minute Fable for Separated or Divorced Parents


Lawrence R. Jones is the author of Point C. He served as a Family Court judge of the Superior Court of New Jersey, U.S.A. until retiring from the Bench in 2017.

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