The Role of the Divorce Coach
Divorce Coaching empowers you before, during, and after your divorce to make sound decisions, set and achieve goals, and deal with this major life transition.
Divorce Coaching is a niche within the larger profession of Life Coaching. Life Coaching empowers and supports people in achieving sustainable results in any aspect of their lives and in creating a future of their own design. A Divorce Coach is a Life Coach who concentrates in the areas of separation, divorce, and life beyond divorce. Divorce Coaching empowers you before, during, and after your divorce to make sound decisions, set and achieve goals, and deal with this major life transition.
It is probably easiest to describe what a Divorce Coach is by first explaining what s/he is not. A Divorce Coach (and Life Coaches in general) is distinct from a lawyer, therapist, consultant and mentor.
Lawyer v. Coach
A Divorce Coach neither offers legal advice nor serves as a substitute for an attorney. That role is left exclusively to your legal counsel. A Divorce Lawyer has expertise in the field of divorce and matrimonial law and will guide and advise you in all your legal decisions in that regard.
Therapist v. Coach
It has been said that therapy takes you from dysfunctional to functional while coaching takes you from functional to optimal. Therapy and counseling often focus on diagnosing a problem and healing unresolved issues of the past, while utilizing insight and understanding. Counseling or therapy typically center on the “why” of any situation. Coaching, on the other hand, is action-driven and future-focused. Coaching shifts the emphasis from “why” to “how.” Coaching is not clinical in nature like therapy or counseling and no medical diagnosis is made. A Coach does not delve into the past to look for root causes of mental and psychological issues. In the coaching process, you continually take steps that move you toward your goals in life. Your coach partners with you to discover where you want to go, and together, you design a very clear and specific plan to get there. Action is a key component of coaching. And, when blocks or barriers arise that prevent you from achieving your goals, your Coach helps you see what is in the way in order for you to break through the barrier and move toward success.
Consultant v. Coach
Unlike a consultant, a Life Coach does not give advice, tell you what to do, or use their specific knowledge to provide you with a set course of action to take in order to achieve your goals. Rather than delivering the right answers, as a consultant would, a Coach asks empowering questions to elicit meaningful responses from the client, thereby empowering them to create their own personal solutions. Ultimately, this increases one’s ability to accomplish better results on their own in the future.
Mentor v. Coach
A mentor is a person with vast experience, knowledge or wisdom in a certain area who helps those in the same job or field of endeavor who have less experience, knowledge or wisdom. A mentor will teach and guide one to take action from the perspective of the mentor’s own experience. A Coach, however, coaches from the perspective of the client, the client’s agenda and what s/he wants to accomplish. A Coach believes that each person is the expert in their own life and has the answers within themself.
Now, back to what a Divorce Coach is and does. A Divorce Coach supports you in rebuilding your confidence and getting your life back on track. In the process, you will gain access to relieving the stress often caused by divorce and be empowered to take positive action toward designing the next phase of your life. Whether your goal is to have peace and harmony in your family, financial stability or feel good about yourself again, during the coaching process you will clearly identify your goals and develop practical strategies to reach them. While participating in coaching, you will overcome the challenges of your divorce to become your optimal self and have your experience of life be joyful and fulfilling.
Through Divorce Coaching, you will be empowered to:
- Deal with the emotional aspects of your separation and divorce, including the pain, anger and fear that may be buried or not fully acknowledged
- Regain self-confidence, and become empowered to deal with your divorce issues in a calm and clear manner
- Distinguish and break through barriers holding you back
- Communicate effectively with your spouse and children to create peace and a co-parenting relationship that works
- Design a new life that comes from abundance and joy, instead of scarcity and fear
Jamie L. Cicerelle is a Certified Life Coach (CPC) with 13 years of experience as a divorce lawyer. She specializes in divorce and relationship coaching at Blank Canvas Coaching,