Choice is something we usually take for granted. We get to go to the grocery store of our choice, buy the brands of food we choose and then choose how we want to pay for our food. And that’s just one relatively small example. We make thousands of decisions every day.
If we have no choice in a situation, we feel trapped; if we have too many choices, we feel overwhelmed. According to research by Barry Schwartz, we are happier when we have fewer choices.
In divorce, one of the greatest sources of pain people have is when the dissolution was foisted on them by their spouse. This is especially challenging when there was no warning and no chance to respond to their mate’s unhappiness.
Another area of pain when it comes to choice is in deciding how to divide assets and how to determine what is a fair settlement.
And then there is the task of having to make some of the greatest decisions of your life at a time when you’re least able to make them. In this situation, choice can feel incredibly daunting, even if you only have a few options.
Take a few moments (10 – 20 minutes) to write about the role choice is playing (or has played) in your divorce process. How have you felt about this? If you are uncomfortable with your choices, is there anything you can do to improve your situation?