Dating after 45 isn’t easy. After losing a long-term partner through divorce, it can be daunting to jump back into the dating game. The rules have changed a bit in the last decade or so. One-night stands have been around for ages. The newly divorced may not realize the new name for it is hook-ups. When looking at responses from online dating sites, some are blatant about seeking a hook-up. Other ones practically need a code decipher to figure out their intentions.
Newly single individuals may want to find that special someone. Others feel pushed into dating by well-meaning friends who say “You should start now.” The timing is up to you – wait until you are ready. Do not feel rushed to fill that vacant space in your life.
Here’s What You Need to Know About Dating After 45
Questions arise: Will I find someone else? How do I know if they are the right one? Am I too old to fall in love again? Hold out for the best and do not settle for whomever comes along. He or she is not the only one on the planet. When we feel desperate, we lower our standards. Good enough may seem okay. Value yourself and others will too. Have standards, and if others do not meet them, move on.
Dating in Your 40’s Has its Own Challenges
Those over forty may not want to wait with months of chats before the first date, or a year before getting a commitment. People whom I interviewed said they want to know sooner than later if it is a friendship or a romance. They gave a time frame from several weeks to several months on how long they wait when a new relationship is moving very slowly. It depends on how much they like/love the new dating partner for the time period they give a new relationship to blossom. It can be challenging to go at a slower pace when previous relationships got deeper quickly.
There Are Complications Post-Divorce
Are there children still at home? They may have mixed feelings about you dating again. My sons are so supportive of my new life – dating, taking acting lessons, karaoke, etc. Younger children may see dating as a replacement for their other parent. Or they may be harboring the idea that their parents will get back together at some point. Communication is imperative to clear up any misconceptions. Let others know that dating is a part of moving on with your life.
People come with more baggage than they did in their 20’s. This includes ex-spouses.
A way to get dates is to be approachable. Be the person who chats at the community table in the coffee shop. When someone sees how easy it is to talk to you, they will. Go out with friends where it is feasible to mingle. I meet people at venues where there is dancing and live music. Others have joined singles’ groups and met future spouses.
Let friends and co-workers know you are ready to date again. Look at dating after 45 as an adventure.