Divorce usually comes with a package of responsibilities. You have to move on emotionally, restart your life, relocate physically, and change your routines – all at once. This is a lot to handle, especially when you are filled with an ocean of emotions because of your divorce. You have to take care of yourself after divorce to make the transition from married to single successfully.
During and after divorce, some people drop back into a relationship with their ex – even if it’s only physical for one of the parties. Really people? You had all the problems in this world with your partner, and now you’re going back for more? Stop! Don’t do it! No matter how much you miss your spouse, your divorce attorney has finally received your signature on the divorce papers, and you can’t turn back the clock to a time when you were happy together.
People have different ways to cope, but whatever your coping strategy is, you must take care of yourself after divorce so you can heal and move on.
Here are 6 ideas to help you take care of yourself after divorce.
1. Don’t dwell for too long
It is, of course, difficult to come out of the past and live in the future after the relationship ends. But lingering over all those things for a length of time is not good at all. It will harm your inner peace more than any other thing. Once the situation is beyond your control, there is no need to waste your precious time thinking about what went wrong.
Talk about it to the people who you think can be of help. This is the way you will get rid of the things that are likely to pollute your inner self otherwise.
2. Realize your worth
When in a crisis, people often drag themselves down. This is not the way out of it. You do have a flaw or maybe more than one, but so has everyone. Even an embroidered cloth has a mess of threads on one of its sides, but that does not make it bad. Introspect. That way, you will come to know your uniqueness in this world.
You now have all the energy of this world, and this is the right time to start something creative, something useful. Do not let the negativities paralyze your mind. If you invest your potential in the right place and thing, chances are, you might bring a change to the society.
3. Manage your finance
Once you are all on your own, the expenditure of money has to be properly planned. If you have a child with you, make sure you save enough to have a secure future. Do not spend on all the things you like. Doing so would put you in financial distress, coming out of which is quite difficult. Seeking the help of a financial advisor here can be a better option, especially when having no idea about the same.
4. Just Let it go
If your head is filled with ‘what ifs,’ ask yourself whether you’re making anything better, or deteriorating yourself? Doing it for some time is natural, but taking it to another level is never going to help you. There is always life beyond any problem. Your, and someone else’s, mistakes help you prepare for the up and coming chapters of your life.
5. Social Media is not the solution
If you think you need to vent out your feelings, don’t ever do this on social media. It spreads much faster than a forest fire does. Instead of posting about it on social media, call a friend, or reach out to your parents. They will be the ones who are going to be your life jacket in a scenario like that.
Do not get into the stalking. This is of no help. Instead, it is hard to come out of this rabbit hole, once you have put yourself into it. Your ex knows you’re not okay, so stop posting the “Look how happy I am!” pictures. It is not going to help you in any way.
6. Forgiveness is necessary
It is tough to forgive someone for their betrayals or other misdeeds – but can be even more difficult to forgive yourself. If the divorce has happened, there was a reason for it. Even if your spouse was unfaithful, or asked for a divorce out of the blue, you played a part in the divorce: even if that was only to be willfully blind to what was staring you in the face, or to enable their bad behavior. Forgive your ex, and forgive yourself. To do this, take a look back at your relationship without those rose-colored glasses, and figure out what part each of you played in the breakdown of your marriage. Your failures don’t make you a bad person, and the path to peace is forgiveness.
Although you might be in great distress because of your divorce, if you forgive and move on, things will eventually settle down. You will be happy again! Divorce is not fun, but you will definitely get through it. Accept the reality, take care of yourself after divorce, and start living your new post-divorce life now.
Kavita Verma has been motivating people with her writing for more than five years now. Her educational background in the field of psychology has helped her better understand the emotional issues of the people. In her career as a psychologist, she has helped tons of people in coming out of the mental trauma.