Thanksgiving at Mom’s house this year — or is it at Dad’s place? It’s Christmas Eve at Dad’s, and Christmas Day at Mom’s. What happens if Mom’s birthday or Mother’s Day falls on a weekend when the kids are with their Dad?
As your children grow older, there will be landmark days and celebrations — such as college graduation, weddings, the birth of a grandchild — that both you and your ex would love to attend. If your children are in a committed relationship, you may have to share or alternate holidays with their partners’ extended families as well.
Gee, wouldn’t it be nice if the holidays and celebrations brought everyone back together again under one roof — even if it were only for one day?
By now, your children are quite aware that you are no longer a couple, and they have emotionally adapted to most of the changes that have taken place because of this life path change. But this doesn’t make things easier during the holidays.
While they love visiting with you individually, they would probably welcome the opportunity to get the people they love most together in one room. Also, they would probably appreciate the opportunity to eliminate any hurt feelings that are incurred when they choose to celebrate with one parent as opposed to the other.
Many divorced people have adopted what I consider to be an admirable attitude that ensures a more-or-less stress-free holiday: They open their hearts and their homes to spending the holidays and special occasions with their children and their exes.
Of course, special days by their nature bring up feelings of loss and regret, and it’s not always easy to put aside the issues that stood between you and your ex in the first place. However, if you’re willing to give it a try, here are some tips that may get you through the “holidaze”:
Tip #1: Remember why you are there: to share good cheer with those who love you.
Tip #2: Be open and friendly to all guests present, including your ex.
Tip #3: Don’t bring the past into the present.
Tip #4: Don’t buy into your ex’s bad mood.