In a case that may stretch beyond the limits of known physics the ratio between the total amount of time married to the total mount of time spent divorcing – and possibly rip open a hole in the very fabric of the universe in the process – Kim Kardashian’s lawyer complained to an LA Judge (who may be thinking it’s time for a vacation, a career change, or a total mental breakdown) that his client’s soon-to-be-ex hubby, Kris Humphries, “has personal feelings” that are keeping the case alive.
Kardashian and Humphries were married last August in a ceremony so decadent that even the black flies and mosquitoes were by invitation-only. Sadly, their bliss lasted a mere 72-days, with the official divorce filing coming down ominously on Halloween (unconfirmed reports claim that the separated couple dressed up as people who had lots and lots of wedding gifts to give back.) October 31, Kardashian’s lawyer points out, was more than six months ago, which means that the couple is eligible to call it quits and return to their respective Tupperware containers.
Only time will tell.
In the meantime, be on the alert for any rips in the fabric of the universe.