Surviving divorce as a college student can be difficult to do. Divorce is difficult for everyone, but handling a divorce as a college student is a whole different ballgame. As a college student getting a divorce, you’re sure to be affected in one way or the other.
You may carry feelings of doubt, disbelief, stress, depression and if you’re not careful, these unhealthy feelings can spill onto your education and affect it negatively which is why you need to learn how to live successfully and survive as a divorcee while you’re still a student.
Of course, every divorce has a story and divorcees usually have different reactions to their divorce, some are relieved to be free of their unhealthy marriage, some (especially those who didn’t see the divorce coming) are shocked, asking themselves questions like; what did I do wrong? Some develop depression, low self-esteem issues and some are just plainly heartbroken. As a student divorcee going through all this, you should focus more on the best way to survive your divorce and how to move forward.
8 tips for surviving divorce as a college student.
1. Mourn your lost marriage
Just like someone who lost a family member, going through a divorce is like losing someone important to you even if you wanted out of the marriage. No one gets married thinking, “Soon, I will be able to get a divorce” (except in certain situations). Most people get married thinking that this is their “happily ever after”, so no matter how relieved you are to be free of your marriage, you still have to mourn it so you can move on from it.
Some psychotherapists have even compared emotions springing from a divorce experience as being similar to grief. So, this is why you shouldn’t hesitate to mourn your lost marriage rather than bottling up your emotions.
2. Work through your emotional baggage
You need to get rid of lingering emotions from your marriage and divorce experience, especially if you want to start living normally again, either as a single individual or you’re in a new relationship. You need to find the most effective way to get rid of the emotional baggage from your marriage and divorce, you can try talking to a therapist or even finding a way to work through your feelings (like finding a new purpose, finding an activity that helps, etc.). Either way, you shouldn’t sweep those unhealthy feelings under the rug. Remember that time will pass and the pain will go.
3. Discover and rediscover yourself
This especially applies to people who have been married for a long time. After divorce, you will probably discover that a lot of things have changed about you because of your marriage experience. After a divorce, you need to rediscover who you are now. What has changed about you? What are your new goals and desires? What do you want to do with your life?
An expert from Essay Writing Land suggests that you try to discover yourself by trying new things, changing your hairstyle, trying a new sport, learning something new and many other things even as you manage your education and ensure that your grades not only stay on track but that they also get better.
4. Like yourself
Divorce can be a devastating blow to anyone’s self-esteem, it’s even worse for people who were in bad and abusive marriages. As a student divorcee, you stand the risk of having low self-esteem or low self-confidence. Regardless of the source of your possible self-hatred, you need to get rid of the feelings that you did something wrong in your marriage or that there is something wrong with you and as such, you’re responsible for the divorce. This is a time for you to buckle up, have faith in yourself and begin to like yourself again.
5. You can make it alone if you want
By alone, I don’t mean that you need to isolate yourself from friends and family and loved ones. In fact, you’re going to need them now more than ever. So, rely on them for emotional support. However, now is not the time to go rushing into new relationships, even though being independent is a little strange after all those years of marriage, you can still do it.
Being single is the new thing and there is no doubt that you can rock it, so do. Shelly from Essay Shark suggests that you pick up new friends, study harder, meet new people around school, join different groups and clubs in school and outside school, don’t go rushing into a new relationship so fast.
Here, dating does not mean rebounding or desperately looking for a permanent relationship to get into. This is all about transitional relationships. Once you’re ready, don’t follow your usual routine, and don’t go back to your comfort zone, searching for someone similar to your ex to date or someone who is your “type”, try dating other “types”.
7. Pursue new hobbies
Now is the best time for you to find something you enjoy doing which can take your mind off your divorce issues. You can try camping, fishing, blogging, hiking, biking, traveling, cooking, etc. One of the best ways to suppress the pain of your divorce is to study more as well as improve your skills and logical thinking.
8. Try new things or activities that can help you work through your divorce issues
You can try exercising especially since divorces can be very stressful and depressing, exercising can also help you to enhance your mood and improve your sleep. You can also explore yoga, meditation and tai chi.
Even if it’s difficult now and it seems like the end of the world, be assured that this pain will eventually go away as time passes. If you’re a student divorcee, my advice to you is that you try to survive your divorce with these tips and complete your studies in flying colors even as you find and improve yourself.
Becky Holton is a journalist and a blogger. She is interested in educational technologies and is always ready to support informative speaking. www.xpertwriters.com