My husband met Gwen Stefani once, many moons ago. He jokes that he was about to ask her to have a drink with him when Gavin Rossdale swooped in and stole her out from under his nose. When I first read the story of her divorce from Gavin, I sent him a Facebook post and said, "Guess you'll be replacing me, your girlfriend is free now." I attached the article to the post on his timeline. Most people didn't get the reference. He laughed and laughed and came into the living room where I was sitting and said that was a long time ago and he hadn't thought about her since.
I've never viewed Gwen as competition or a role model. I've always viewed her as someone who worked really hard to get where she is today. I imagined being in the music world wasn't easy for her. I've watched some of her music videos, but admittedly not many. My husband said she was very personable when he met her. I've been very impressed with Gwen as of late. Gwen has shown great strength and authenticity in her divorce experience. Many people, including celebrities, shut down during a divorce. On the other hand, Gwen has given interviews, numerous ones from when I googled this topic, where she has been very vulnerable about her pain. She's managed to speak openly about her divorce, parenting, and the marriage she was in, all without making Gavin out to be the devil.
Gwen's candor shows us another way in divorce. One can talk about marriage, divorce, and parenting without making the other person out to be the devil. We can talk about our shattered dreams, as Gwen does, and the support we got from others going through the same situation. It is possible for people to be civilized.
I am thankful for the power to let go. I am thankful for the example Gwen sets in the tone she has taken when she is asked about her divorce.
In today's society, we have the power to let go and move forward or to sit in the mudslinging. I am always thankful of being able to make the choice, the same way Gwen does. I've been heartened to read about her life since the split. It's not easy for her and she talks about the kids being gone half the time, etc. However, she's able to come through it all with a certain class and dignity that is often lacking for divorcing couples. How do you want to be thought of when your divorce comes up? Like Gwen says, she thinks about her children and not wanting to embarrass them. What do you want your children to know, if you have children (and if you don't, what would you want them to know)?
Divorcing couples are often mired in the mud between them, and this is often true in Hollywood as well. The divorce of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale offers a contrast on this point. Gwen has been very open and yet she has been very kind. What choice will you make about your own divorce?