Login / Register | Select Category » Infidelity » My wife cheated on me-need help

Name: A1Movers New Member   Title: My wife cheated on me-need help

i recently found out my wife was cheating on me she admitted to me after i pressed her on issue. this happens 2 days ago, and it has crushed me, my 13 year old son, 10 year old daughter. she admiited the detail of an oral encounter, and it hurts! i dont know what to do....i feel angry most of the time at her, and then i miss her also, but my kids hate her because she left house and told my son about why she was leaving. should i stay or should i go....

Name: opal New Member

I am sorry for your pain. You need to space to breathe and think clearly. Your wife was not thinking clearly when she told your son, but after you spend time alone to think you can make the best decision for yourselve and your children. I went balllistic after I found out my husband had been cheating for a long time and my rollercoaster ride scared me and worried my kids. My husband refused to leave me alone to heal or think. I felt stalked and manipuulated into going on a date with him. If I did not agree he would subtly threaten me with losing custody, taking the house and telling me I was not able to take of myself. I need to be divorced and I will be, but for my sanity I am getting separation orders for my sanity, because I need to breathe and so do you.

Name: lovedare New Member

I am not sure why a mother would tell her child about this, it was not the right thing to do. your first and foremost concern is your children, protect them from issues they are not equiped to deal withand allow them to talk to you about how they feel. It is not easy, I was in your shoes just three years ago. I know how angry, hurt, alone, and lost you feel. No matter what anyone else tells you, you need to give yourself time to feel, think, cry, scream, and then when you can make a choice to stay or go and feel at peace with that decision then you will know if you should stay or go. Either way you are both going to have to remain in contact with each other and remain friends for the sake of your children.
If she is willing to talk, the two of you need to begin a tough but necessary process of working through this. Also, has she said whether or not she wants to stay and work on this?
Remember this is your marriage to, she is not the only one who gets to decide how this is going to be handled.
As for the kids, I am so sorry that they have to go through any of this, ( I have 3 of my own) tell them it is ok not to be mad at their mother, that you will never want them to feel bad towards her for your sake.
She has screwed up, in the most ugliest of ways, there is no doubt about that but now is a time for healing and understanding.
I would recommend watching the movie fireproof and reading the book, the love dare.