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Name: Teena289 New Member   Title: How long do I wait for him?

I wrote a long post yesterday, my husband left me suddenly, he has poor communication skills and we have barely discussed what was wrong in our relationship. I went' from being in a comitted 'marriage' to husband moving out all in a month!!! He did call me yesterday as my daughter from another marriage (27) spoke to him saying my mom is upset etc. and she wants to work it out. He admitted he misses me, misses us and will call me later. He did call me later and we talked a while but he didn't want to get together in person yesterday. I didn't want to push him and he said he would call me later. How long do i wait for him? Do i send him text messages so he thinks of me? do I stay away from that? What do I do? He did say he misses 'us' and I said I do too and i love him. I am hurting, any suggestions? Meanwhile, he got his own apartment and I have to come up with the mortgage somehow. Help????

Name: roguti New Member

I agree with Tamisue: even if he came back today, I think I'd be afraid every day I was with him he would do this to me again. You deserve to be with someone that really wants to be with you and cares about what you need. Find a local divorce support group in your area, find a new church, take a class. Focus on your own life!

starting in July 2011 I found out my husband was having an affair...told me about it and had an apt w/ that woman the next day (later found out he borrowed from his 401K to furnish her apt). All of this has made me sick to my stomach and I tried really hard to reconcile and work things out only to get hurt over and over again...because he too would tell me he missed us, he missed our family (we have 1 daughter) and then he would fail me miserably again. It's been a very painful process...extremely painful but I have a wonderful therapist I go to that helps me very much. Find your support group and hang on to them. My therapist always tells me "LOVE IS A VERB" if he isn't acting then be very careful. It hurts to see he has moved on so fast..but now it's time for me (even if it is hard) to move forward and be the best mother I can possibly be and in the future I know I will find someone that validates me and will love, care for me like a wife should be. Prayer helps very much too.

Name: peepalala New Member

you just talk to your husband and ask what he want , i dont think so you have to wait for him , go to the marriage consultant and know your rights .
Spread the word... Divorce doesn't have to be devastating http://knowingdivorce.com

Name: Barbara_Lynn New Member

Right now your primary concern is financial and how you will be able to make the monthly bill payments. You need to understand your legal rights and that will require consulting a divorce attorney. The consultation does not require that you move forward with a divorce, but you need to understand the options and decisions. Unless your husband chooses to help you with the payments, you will need a legal separation or divorce proceeding to force him to be responsible for his share of these expenses.

Since your husband has moved into his own apartment, it is likely that he has already consulted with a divorce attorney. As hard as this may be to hear, it takes two people to make a marriage work, but only one to end it. Your husband's actions suggest that he has made a decision.

Please, please, please consult with an attorney tomorrow!

Barbara Lynn
www.NavigatingDivorce.net

Name: tamisue New Member

Honestly, if you were to get back with him what are you going to get? He has made major decisions already without caring how you would feel and not discussing any issues with you (including the mortgage) and you are dealing with all the aftermath of HIS decisions! I'm sorry but that is not a marriage, you deserve someone that cares about your feelings and what you want and need and clearly he is focused on only his wants at the moment. Honestly, even if he came back today, I think I'd be afraid every day I was with him he would do this to me again. You deserve to be with someone that really wants to be with you and cares about what you need. Find a local divorce support group in your area, find a new church, take a class. Focus on your own life!