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Name: Separted06 New Member  
Title: Birthday gifts for recently separated spouse?
Hi all,Any ideas/do's and don'ts for my spouse who I have been recently separated from? Her birthday is coming up and I don't want to ignore her birthday but don't want to seem over the top too. If anyone has any suggestions then I would be most grateful. TYVM. Sep06

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Name: SKIPPY Member
I just recently celebrated our 17th anniversary (see separation sucks for details) Do what you feel you need to do. If that's always been a strong point for you keep giving until you are both offically out of each other's lives, and then go for a simple card. If there is a chance of you getting back together, and you ignore this it may be used against you (you ignored my birthday because we are separated the crap line some women like to give and you as the man must understand because these are her feelings).
Name: missmmeoftheday Member
You guys still have all that stuff? I must be more cold-hearted than I realized... I tossed them all. Every last card and note. What purpose would keeping them serve? They were just more clutter, and more reminders of what wasn't. And reading them as I tossed them made me think about how hollow some of those words were... so I put them in the garbage.
Name: LT New Member
I'm going to take a photo of all the cards layed out on the floor. Then shred each one of them, put them in a box and give it to the cheating b**** ex on our old anniversary.
Name: Mikki Member
I still have all those in a box. I was wondering what to do with them. [This message has been edited by Mikki (edited 25 March 2006).]
Name: 2beSingle Member
I still have all the little notes, cards, etc that my stbx gave me. I have them in an envelope and I packed them away and haven't looked at them. I want to keep them because they are a very big part of my past, but I'm not going to look at them until I know I can without pain or anger. (Not there yet)i was thinking about birthdays, too. I'll probably just send a nice, neutral card. Nothing lovey or too sentimental. Just something to say "have a good birthday" and that is it.
Name: norah Member
yea, send all the birthday cards you kept from her that she sent/gave to you on your birthdays back to her, all the ones declaring undying love and devotion. I sent my stbx a great collection when I was cleaning out drawers and found them, all the anniversary cards that we bought for each other with the same insides, same meanings, just different front of card and had such good feelings over our connection to each other, the whole nine yards, even included cards from when he sent me flowers that I had kept, told him to recycle cause they just said "I love you so much, thank you for being my wife". Worked for me, part of the cleansing process![This message has been edited by norah (edited 25 March 2006).]
Name: Bee Member
Norah, ROFLMAO. I've always wanted to write that. Did I get it right?
Name: Bee Member
You have been separated about 4 weeks, now, right? This was her choice, correct? House sold? Trying to get this straight. You tell her you want her back. Why do you feel you must give her something? A phone call with a birthday wish might work, if she is not upset about this separation. Sending a simple flower bouquet, might work. Are you doing this for you or her in hopes of opening reconcillation talks? You could do nothing and that might be the best. That's why I say phone call at the most. If this is truly over you can stop now. Gift giving is not required. My birthday was a week after our separation, if I can call it that, and his was a month. Neither of us acknowledged the other's. Now, it seems that was best. My 2 cents.
Name: Separted06 New Member
I like the idea of sending all of the cards back but haven't reached that point yet...Yes. It was her choice to separate and I just need more time.... (too much stalling)Although I want her back I feel that the time apart is beneficial to both of us - I guess that's my way of dealing with this and moving forward.I would be doing this for me in hopes of reconcilliation down the line somewhere - my head is still spinning from all of this.I'll probably just go the route of a quick voicemail wishing her a happy birthday.Thanks everyone for your input.
Name: norah Member
Perfect Bee!
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