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Name: cdeyhle   Title: birdnesting

I've heard of a concept called birdnesting. This is where the kids stay put in the house and the parents shuttle in and out - whoever has custody of the kids that day has the house. Has anyone tried this? What are the pros/cons?

Name: robcranemd New Member

Yes, many others have used this concept to help the kids retain a sense of home. They are able to keep their own rooms, their home, their pets, their neighborhood and their sense of place. You can read more about this at the site: KidsStay.org, a nonprofit website to help parents struggling with divorce. Cost is really a non-issue. Many parents find it's cheaper to have two small apartments and one large house rather than try to maintain two houses for kids, and some save more by staying with relatives or friends on their off nights. Making kids migrate to suit their parents needs is myopic.

Name: beckies

I hadn't heard of this concept, but I think it would be incredibly stressful for all involved...the kids also would be confused as to why mom and dad are only there sometimes, and they wouldn't be included in the lives their parents have set up away from the original house. My kids are younger, though. Perhaps it would be feasible with kids who are older and have better reasoning skills...

Name: madalex Member

The cons are the cost - now you need three houses instead of two (one for kids, one for mom and one for dad). Who can afford that after a divorce?

In addition, if two divorced parents can work well enough to make this concept work, they should also be able to work well enough to make a traditional custody situation work without there being undue stress and anxiety for the kids (in which case, the whole point of the birdnesting goes away).