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Name: Den Of Earth New Member   Title: Wife refuses to see reason during divorce

My wife and I are just starting a divorce and she began this by starting a relationship with an old boyfriend from her high school days(20 yrs ago) before she ever informed me of her decision to split. We have two children 9 and 3 yet she(and he) insists on having him move here(he lives about 1200 miles away) in just under a month. I have asked that she wait because it will be March at the earliest and most likely April that our divorce is finalized. My main problem with her is their insistence on starting their new life immediately regardless of the consequences. I have spoken with her several times about the possible negative impact it will have on our children because as soon as he is here she and I both know she will be spending less and less time with the children and more and more time with him. They should be our main focus right now. Not the two of them and their new 'perfect' life(yes I am a bit bitter about this). I do believe our marriage can be salvaged but she is in full mid life crisis right now. No matter what I have tried she will not see the potential harm this may cause our children. I need help in this and have been unwilling to contact her 'new' man to enlist his help as he sees it as me interfering with the two of them being happy together. Not only that but it has only been three weeks since I was told I am no longer a welcome part in her life and I am not ready to try talking to this guy yet.
Can anyone offer me any suggestions as to what I can try to make the two of them see reason and to please put the well being of our kids first instead of themselves?