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Name: Bourne New Member   Title: Pros & Cons of living near your Ex.

I live in a small town (pop 10 - 15K) and am trying to decide if I should purchase a home in the same neighbourhood as my ex.

Basically, I'm trying to weigh the advantages to keeping the kids in the same neighbourhood (shared custody 50/50 with her in the family home) so they are near friends and in a familiar area. Against having some space and being able to live a somewhat seperate life.

Regardless I will be staying in the same town.

What would be the pros and cons of living a short walk, say less than 5 minutes, with your spouse and if anyone is in that situation, how do you find it?

Name: divorcetohappiness New Member

I live in a town of 5k, and I did not leave. After the divorce first happened, I wanted to pack the kids and leave. I thought I wanted to be free of him, and the business we had created together, but something inside me told me to stay. I just could not make my children go through another event. Kids need to feel like they are number one on your list. I also have a 50/50 shared custody arrangement, so travel and schools should be high on your list. Those kids have been though so much, don't make them start over with friends and a whole new school. Stay close, it is harder on you, but work with your ex, and make it the best life you can give those kids still.

It can work, I am living proof. My Ex and I are not friends we don't hang around together at all, but we are civil to each other. It takes work but your goal should be to live where you can be a part of their lives, help them and still have a new life. It is can be hard, but the rewards are awesome. Your 50/50 might turn into 75/25 and that is the blessing.

Don't worry about the ex. He/She is making their own choices, you make the best on for you and your kids.

Name: bak New Member

I guess to me it depends on how your relationship with your ex is. Our relationship is far from being "civil" if you will no matter what I try. My ex is still very angry and bitter towards me. I know it is just his own guilt for his decisions and due to his affair. He is currently living only two streets over from me with his girlfriend and it is a slap in my face to see her at his house and it saddens me to know he is so close and yet makes no effort to see his son.

Name: marthac New Member

I think that would be great if you and your ex can work it out. My husband and I live very close to his ex for many years. It provided a lot of flexibility for all concerned. He was supposed to get the kids every other weekend, but the proximity, work schedules and the amicable divorce made it almost 50/50.

When the kids forget something (home work, hockey equipment etc), then it's not a big deal. Taking the kids out for (unscheduled) dinners become a lot easier too.

Name: divco New Member

Hi,

It might make sense to stay in the same school district so that the school bus so that you can both be on the same school bus route and there is no dispute as to whcih schools the children should go to. Good luck!!