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Name: blondenambitious   Title: New boyfriends ex wife text messages him at 1:36 AM

My new boyfriend receivesa text message from his ex wife at 1:36 AM because he didn't call her the night before when she expected him to. The reason for the text message? Because she was heck bent on making a visitation schedule for the next week. She expected him to call Saturday night to make arrangements starting on Monday. He got side tracked with "life" and decided 11 PM was too late to call her. She didn't think 1:36 AM was too late to text him and ream him out. She also threatened to not let him see his son the following week because he didn't do what she wanted when he wanted. How many out there think there is something wrong with this woman and this picture or am I being unreasonable?

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Name: newman78 New Member

Wow I can't get over what ignorant ppl say on here. Just because 2 ppl get married and have kids does not mean that they will be connected together forever or that he can't have a new and better life with someone else who treats them and their children better. Maybe some of the ex wives on here should grow up and move on with their lives. The problem is ppl always think the grass is greener somewhere else and when they find out it isn't its to late. And the idea that my ex will always be connected makes me ill :/

Name: newman78 New Member

Iam going through a divorce right now and its dissappointing to see all these hate full comments when 2 ppl get divorced its because they are no longer good for each other and know longer wish to have the other person in their lives. I have a new fiance and I don't think its unreasonable that we shouldn't have to deal with my ex, that's why they are called ex's after all.
As far as what the children "deserve", }l children deserve to have 2 parents that act like adults.
My ex has the children every 2 weeks but during that time they are not allowed to say my fiance' name or call her their stepmom. She is rude to my fiance' and acts like a child.
I also resent the comments that my fiance should have no say in the raising of my children.
Only bitter ex wives make such comments and my connection with my ex ended when she decided to leave me and the children. And further if you women cared about your children you would respect the fact that someone else cares enough to put the time in to help take care of them.

Name: savefamilies New Member

Ever wonder why there are so many problems? It's because people break up their families for selfish reasons (they want to "move on" or find someone better) and somehow think they can everyone will just fall in line with their plan. Please, please think about the children. Parental relationships should be nurtured and cherished. These two people loved each other enough to get married and have children. They will be connected to each other for the rest of their lives. The parents belong together, and the children deserve to grow up in an intact family.

Name: lovedare New Member

Just so we are clear, I have been in her shoes and yours! She is out of line, legally she cannot deny him his children and if she does, she is in violation of the custody agreement and it could be revised by the courts!
Also, 1:36am, easy- dont reply!! She will get mad, say stupid stuff in her text and you now have digital proof of what she is doing! Tell your boyfriend it would be a good idea to make a long term schedual that is consistant so the kids know that dad is reliable! ( Sounds like they aren't getting that from Mom right now) She is just jealous, at the moment, it will pass. In the meantime, don't put the child through this, put an immediate stop to this by getting a lawyer envolved to address this.

Name: justthegirlfriend New Member

I am in the same situation. I let myself get all worked up every time his ex would call or text for a long time, then I realized she was his problem not mine. The thing that matters most in the situation isn't you, your boyfriend or the ex-wife...its the kids. And guess what those kids have a mother. He doesn't have a choice about whether or not he can talk to her and if you want to be with him your only choice is to allow it. The ex can be unrational and irritating and worse, but the two of them are still parents and no matter how bumpy the road is that priority is gonna come first. I have a blog I just started dealing with this very topic its called Just the Girlfriend and you can find it at chobby.personal.asu.edu/wordpress....feel free to check it out, trust me I know what you're going through. Good Luck

Name: jerry68 New Member

Blondenambitious Ask yourself if you really love this guy? If you don't get out so both of you can get on with your lives. I am ashamed of the other post below. I guess "For better or worse" dosn't apply to them. If you love someone stick buy them, If you can not maybe you did not care for them at all. She and he might be playing games, I felt that way when my wife divorced me. I guess I deserved it. I mean all I did was work, pay bills, help raise our children, the usual boring stuff a good husband does. Wait, I forgot to kiss her mother's *^%. It's easy for some women to continue these games when they have custody. She complains he won't make visitation plans, when he does she conspires to sabatoge the arraignments. No NO NO, she is a single MOM she is above reproach, she can do no wrong. She finds herself a boyfriend and I bet the kids are at your house every weekend untill she runs him off because he won't cane in to her demands. Then she will be back at your boyfriends throat. I have seen this scenerio in my own life and dozens(really) of guys I have worked with. Tell him to put the brakes on her calling she is going to make his life hell simply because the law will allow it.

Name: JohnDude New Member

Def. get out of this asap. My ex-husband had a former wife text him around the time we were about to divorce and that was pretty much when I said for him to leave. After we divorced I sold the diamond engagement ring he gave me to www.idonowidont.com to find some closure and to move on. Some guys just never learn. Sounds like your boyfriend is up to something I think!

Name: marym23 New Member

Get out, Get out, Get out. I have been with my husband for three years, married now for 3 months, and let me tell you what a mistake it was. When your man made the decision to love you, he made the decision to also put you first and on a day to day basis raise his children with you. Thats in a perfect world. You will never be first in this relationship, things will never change. My husband told me just two days ago that when it comes to his boys, his ex-wife will always come before me. Bulls*** Unless it is a emotional or physical emergency the ex-wives needs should NEVER come before yours, amd not before my mine. The problem is lack of boundaries that our men do not set. My husband has always used the accuse, " i do it for my children " Just the other day I left his sons football pants on the front patio because she was supposed to come and get them...she didn't, so the next morning my husband left an hour earlier to take the pants over for practice thatr same night. It wasn't for his kids, is was because it was what worked for her schedule. She could have had just as easily come by before practice that night to pick up the pants that she was supposed to get the night before. She says jump, he says how high. This is one of a million scenarios that I deal with daily and have finally come to my senses.....we are now filing for divorce, and in the midst of it all.....he blames me for being jealous and insecure. Maybe I am, but isn't it his job to provide my reassurance? You would think so. Girl, my best advice is see the exit sign and walk out the door.

Name: belladonna

You need to get out now. I had a boyfriend with an ex who did things like this, and he went back to her eventually. I never thought he had one feeling for her, but she ultimately made life so miserable he had to choose. And, when she caught wind of me through the kids, she decided to apologize for every nasty thing she did over their 20 year relationship. But despite that, please realize the issue is boundaries. They didn't have them, he didn't set them...yes, even though she was psycho, he was partaking in the insanity by NOT SETTING BOUNDARIES...and that was the problem. He didn't set them, I ultimately realized, because he enjoyed the attention from her, and from me. I told myself it was their issue, not mine. I told myself, and he told me repeatedly, their relatiionship was about the children. But when ex wives act this way and your boyfriend isn't strong with her, and doesn't draw boundaries, that's what to pay attention to. He needs to do this as part of a healthy divorce process, and he needs to do it for you. Yes, she's a horror. She's a psycho. But the thing to see is how HE responds. The thing wrong with the picture is really him. I'd advise you do what I wish I'd done, and get out of the situation. Until he can tell her, with you listening, that the way she's acting isn't appropriate. And to control issues with his son, he can revisit the divorce decree, vs. allow her to bully him. He likely doesn't deserve it, and you definitely don't. DO NOT think it won't all come down on you in the end if he doesn't deal with her. There is no reason, other than wanting her attention in some weird, even subconcious way, not to set boundaries. And whatever his motives, without boundaries around her it's never going to work. Be smart...please.

Name: kasey2065

Honey, I do not think you are over reacting. Let me tell you my story. My fiance's ex left him for another man 4 years ago. we met 7 months later. We get along so good. We love each other very much. Once she found out he had some one she went bullistic. I tried to stay out of it from the begining. and I did so for years. I dont anymore and wish I hadent back then. she uses their son to control our lives. She textes him daily. Not neccessary. That is signs of a stalker. she tries to find out every thing she can about us. Calls me names and my daughter names via text. If we take legal action she will keep the boy from us.(he loves us both) We have been harassed by this woman for YEARS. My opinion is normal people dont try to control the lives of their exes. Get involved from the start. If this man wants a healthy relationship with you and his children he needs to show them what a healthy relationship is. NOT CONTROL. His son is only 13 but can tell who is being reasonable and who is acting crazy. Good Luck to you

Name: leapoffaith

stay out of it. That between them and their child

Name: Sandie07

You ask a question you get an answer, whether it is the answer you like I doubt but here goes.

I dont think it is any of your business. The problem is between him and his child/children. You stick your nose in the situation and it will just blow up in your face or she will blow up in your face and make you life a living hell. You only know what he has told you happened and 99% of the time he is lying to save his life.

Any man who has problems with his x is because he created the problem with irresponsibility, lies, cheating, etc etc etc. And you giving him the excuse of "LIFE" Excuse me but he created a life with this woman and it is his responsibility just as it is hers to care for this child, it takes two to tango. If he were as responsible as he should be and take care of his stuff before it blew up in his face then he would not be having this problem. He probably blames his baby's mother for not seeing the child or her using the child against him. Well that is a lie, because if he had wanted to see his child so badly, he wouldve made the visitation schedule. "Life" that is an irresponsible excuse. His life should be his child and nothing/no one else. Put yourself in her position, do you want to hear your child ask why thier father doesnt come to see them or make time for them??

Name: Hope New Member

There is something wrong with this woman and I have a boyfriend with her twin as his ex-wife. It is amazing that these women do not think of their children! I have realized there is nothing I can do, but support him when he is upset. Good luck!

Name: madalex Member

And how is this any of your business? The last thing your boyfriend needs is you cheering him on about what a pin his ex-wife is; leave it be and let him handle this.