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Name: custodybattle   Title: Need Help in Custody battle

I am looking for any advise in helping my court battle to gain custody of my two children 7 and 9. I've been divorced nearly 5 years and my children are suffering in their present living circumstance. They live about 2 hours away and I see them twice a month when my ex doesn't mess that up by involving the children in activities. She constantly is getting them excited about events and then makes me into the bad guy if I don't allow them to attend. She leaves for work at 4:45AM and has left the children unattended before school, calls them from work to get them up for school. She recently enrolled them in counseling, a service through her employer, since the custody battle has started. We've been told to enroll them in counseling at our house as well as since it is through her work it is probably one sided. We've been through the interrogatory phase of the battle and I'm so discouraged that the court is going to see this as a he said she said case when it clearly isn't. Does anyone have any advise to help me keep my sanity and really drive the point in court of the true facts.

Name: enlightenedgoddess New Member

If you want to keep your sanity then make peace with the ex. If she is doing things to keep you away from the kids they will see the truth soon enough when they are older. The ex and his new wife have been in litiagation with me for over two years and have done all the things and more that Calyspso has mentioned. all that has done is cause insecurity and fear in the youngest and hatred and resentment in the oldest. Both of them have stated to the counselors that they wanted to kill their father. It will backfire on you if you try too hard. Try family couseling , its cheaper and more productive.

Name: Calypso

PS] I do have more to share so please email me @ calypso1004@gmail.com

Name: Calypso

Hello, My husband and I are going through the same thing with his ex. There are a few things that you can do in this situation. Now I don't know what state you live in but, I hope this'll help you out. We also were going through the "he said/she said" phase and we went through a couple show/cause hearings and left with absolutely nothing. But i found out that there a 3 things that you need which makes it alot easier to prove things in court.
1. Knowing the Child Custody Acts, Friend of the Court Handbook, and the Parenting Time Guidelines. If your ex is like my husbands ex, you can find alot of things that'll trip her up which could file for more parenting time with your children.
2. Voice Recorder - Have a voice recorder with you at all times. It is not against the law to record a conversation as long as between you and the other party. You can also record your conversation with your child, BUT you can not lead them on. For instance, questions like "Did mom leave you home alone?" ask them questions like "What time do you get up? what did you do?" and let your child fill you in with the rest of the day or events. Be coureous (sp?) and keep them going. The court likes to hear it from, basically, the horses mouth and not through a third party. So get a really good voice recorder that takes out the background noise and an earpiece for the telephone conversations with your ex.
3. Keep a good record. Document everything, when sending her letters don't just put it in the mail, get either a proof of mailing or delivery confirmation. Of course, keep all receipts and staple them to either the folder or the letter you sent to her. If she was deny you of your time with your children, depending what is written in the parenting order, you can submit those documents to the court.
But having your children in counselling is a good idea. We have done that with my step daughter, since we don't have very much money I have her talking with my pastor at church. Which has helped us out lot and gave us a better understanding of what was on her mind. And also help lower her stress level and helped her to concentrate more on studies then what was going on with mom and dad. But we also talked to her and made sure that she knew that we loved her and the things that her mother says, if she hears something that doesn't sound right, to give us a call or ask us the next time she sees us. That way she doesn't feel the unneccessary emotions that she needs. What child wants to feel unwanted. BTW if she ever plans things on your parenting time, she cannot do that because that is your time not hers. and I'm sure you know that. But try asking your kids what they would like to to the next time you have them. And always have fun with them and know your limits. (It can't be fun all the time. ) Just let them know that you love them, always.