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Name: jennifer4030 New Member   Title: Leaving kids home alone

My husband and I are going through divorce with custody being temporary now per the court order. We have shared parenting time with on and off weeks every other week. My ex had a roomate who is a male friend living with him to help him out with the kids. During his week the roomate would put the kids on the school bus and get them off the bus and then take them to dads work. The kids are 8 and 7 both boys in first and second grade. This past Sunday I got the kids and they told me that there dad is not letting them stay at home alone. He gets up and gets them dressed and fed then goes to work and sets a timer for them so they know when they need to get out front for the bus. They are home in the morning for about a hour alone. Then when they get off the bus they go home and go into a unlocked house and stay alone for about 1 to 2 hours. They say dad dosent call to check on them. He has no one (like a neighbor) stop by to check on them. They were not instructed on telephone use or when to open the door to strangers. I have contacted my attorney and he almost blew it off. I have also contacted child services and am presently waiting on a returned call from them on any action they wish to take. These are 7 and 8 year old boys who are a little wild and definatly not mature enough to stay home alone. I am totally concerned for there safety and well being yet I am stumped on what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.ThanksJennifer

Name: jstmebeingme New Member

Log everything! You will be going to court, and you should bring this up to the judge but make sure you have a log with notes as it happened.

Buy them a cellphone and check up on them frequently. If you can text them and have them text you back so you have a record. Your ex may not have taught them what to do in an emergency, but you can. My kids were staying in a unlocked house as well, I don't get that.

Are you available to take them during this time? If so, keep repeating that option to him, one day he'll take you up on it.

Sorry you have to deal with this. Keep your chin up and stay positive.

If you want to know more about where I am coming from, read my story at:

www.divorcesucksblog.com

Name: carmrn1 New Member

Leave them alone once they call you on the hour and sty away from the stove

Name: MaileySmith New Member

As a parent, leaving your kids at home alone it’s not easy. It takes time to let the kids feel safe if you leave them. I started leaving my kids at the age of 11 and 8 years old because I work in a graveyard shift so always leaved them both, but before I decided to do that I talked to my kids and make them aware some unexpected situation that might occur if I am not around. I taught them on how to deal if in case a dangerous situation occurs but what I did also to ensure their safety is I provided them a cell phone and installed a Safekidzone application that could let me know if they are safe or not. I can monitor them anytime, anywhere. It has a panic button as well to press if they encounter danger, and it will notify me directly and their selected friends and neighbors. This application is a big help for me and for my kids. Try to visit their site http://Safekidzone.com/

Name: vstone57

Jennifer -

Buy your sons a cell phone that will work at their Dad's house. I have no doubt that he loves those boys too but probably figures they are better off together and alone than with most "neighbors" these days. Have the boys call you before they leave for school in the morning and when they get home from school so YOU KNOW they are o.k.
While you MUST protect your kids - Don't use this as a weapon against your husband. It only makes the divorce harder on your kids.
Our strength comes from the ordeals we live through and closeness comes from those who share our ordeals. They will know that you love and care for them and it will make you closer. You will also LOVE those calls!
Have the boys take "turns" calling Mom and they will love the calls too! Dad will find out about the calls. He may get angry but more likely jealous and start checking up on them more.
MAKE and KEEP this a positive thing instead of bringing the courts into this. NO GOOD comes from attorneys or courts.

Name: rstrn Member

very good advice above. Your kids are to young to stay home alone. In my state we actually have a law about when its legal to allow children to stay home alone, that age is 10 for 1 hour 11 for 2 and then by 12 they're fine for however long one would feel comfortable.good luck

Name: cherenee New Member

First of all sounds like your ex is an irresponsible person. IF he wants to have the children he should make sure the boys are taken care of. Sounds to me he's just way to busy to be a father. Since you are in a temp seperation now, do what I did, log everything that you feel is unappropriate when the children are at their fathers house. Buy a special "divorce notebook", and log when the kids go to their dads, times he has left them alone, and the feelings the kids get when they talk to you. Show the notebook to your lawyer. With the dates, times, and feelings. It will all come up in divorce court. In order to make sure your children are safe, Make sure to call your ex on his actions. Will somebody be there to care for the boys ect..if he says "none of your business" then say, okay..I'll be over to 'babysit' the boys while you are off at work. See how far that goes. He will probably not leave the house for fear you may go over there to tend to the boys. While you are logging, the courts like to use the term, "best interests of the children" quite often...so in your notebook state that fact as much as possible...for example, In the best interests of the children, I feel 'ex' is not living up to the expectations of being a father that can take care of our children. Not finding appropriate child care before or after school, and it puts fear into them, and in me. I used a log to show my attorney. I kept all emails ex and I sent to each other. When writing email, always be very very politically correct. I learned the hard way, don't go into past b.s. Keep the topic to what the topic is. Because the ex can say you are harrassing him etc...Make sure to print out the emails of both sent and replied correspondence. Shows the court you are really concerned about this. Good luck..and keep track of everything!