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Name: mudqueen68 New Member   Title: How and when to tell the kids

My husband and I are starting the divorce process. We are hoping to do it quickly. We still get along for the most part and we are still friends. He currently is living in our home, for now at least. He's not sure how long he is planning on staying. He really hasn't thought about that part. I am most concerened about my childrens emotional well being. When should we tell the kids (they are 9 and 6) and how. I know that it is too soon to tell them now but I don't want to spring it on them that their daddy is moving out. Any one have any advice on this? i don't sleep well because i'm thinking about it constantly.

Name: lisalt6 New Member

Do some reading on it. The Dr. Neuman Sandcastles program has helpful advice. Prepare with your husband what will be said. Even write it down beforehand. God Luck. It is a heart wrenching experience and a moment that your kids will remember for a lifetime.

Name: savefamilies New Member

Don't tell them. Don't do it. That's good that you're not sleeping well--it shows that you're not feeling good about your decision and recognize how much it's going to hurt your children. If you're truly concerned about your children's well being, then stop the divorce. Divorce is not just about you and your spouse; it's about breaking up a family and will have repercussions throughout generations. Think about it--you loved each other enough to get married and have children. Marriage is hard for everyone and at some point almost everyone thinks being apart would be better than being together. Nowadays, with no-fault divorce making it so easy, people look to divorce to solve their problems, rather than staying committed to their families and working it out. It's not the solution--especially not in your case. Please get help--from God, from a good counselor, from wise friends and family who value families and commitment--whatever will help you most. Divorce doesn't solve problems, it just creates more. Forgiveness, unselfishness, hard work--honestly, you can have back all the love that's been lost and have a marriage even better than before. There's a great book called The Divorce Remedy by Michelle Weiner Davis that might be helpful. If you're religious, you might want to try rejoiceministries.org.