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Name: TrinityV10 New Member  
Title: Emotional Abuse-Daughter doesn't want to go to her dads
(Arizona)I don't even know where or how to start....Emotional abuse is so hard to prove is all I hear over and over...the counselors my daughter (12 years and 7 months old) sees have actually told me that they do not want to get involved with any court proceedings... Now she goes to her dads and he doesn't even say but a handful of words to her. His family dismisses her like she isn't there...She said..."Mom I don't think they like me anymore." This is so heartbreaking because I remeember how they can be and how they would treat the other children in this situation when I was around. He will say mean things to my daughter and then he will say she has turned the story around. I KNOW him and I know that he makes mean sarcastic comments.
Just this past week the house that my daughter and I lived in (previously the family home with the ex) was foreclosed on and we had to practically run out....WE HAD NO IDEA! So she is hurting and so he told her it was my fault.....This is the part that I don't care about...what I care about is that my daughter had to leave her home and is dealing with that and he is trying to make her and everyone else feel sorry for him. She said, "he didn't even ask me how I was mom..."
Does anyone know what the age the child has to be to choose if they want to go and what the process or any information would be?
He takes my daughter for his own controlling issues...He's emotionally abusive and the most selfish person I know......Watching my daughter go through this is is the most horrible thing ever...

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Name: need_help_425 New Member
Trinity - I know what your feeling. I'm dealing with the same thing right now. My daughter is 8. Her dad & step mom have a 1 yeard old together, and she has a 15 year old. My daughter comes home saying all "Jen" care's about is her kids. Her dad is never around...always working. When can she have a say as to weather or not she wants to go?!
Name: Tootsie New Member
Trinity - I'm sorry your daughter is hurting. I know exactly how you feel. My situation is similar. My daughter is 14 and does not want to visit her Dad anymore (he's in CA). She flies out for every school break and spends the entire summer there. I remember the magic number being 14. I've thought of trying a mediator or taking him back to court- but it's touchy. My lawyer advised to "keep it out of court if you can". Good Luck!
Name: dkukich New Member
It may vary from state to state, but when I got divorced a couple of years ago, my lawyer told me that it was 14, which is the age my daughter was then. If that is the case, you have more than a year of this to get through. Keep talking to her and getting her whatever help she needs in terms of counseling etc. It is probably pointless for you to try to talk to him about it--and it may even make it worse. People who are emotionally abusive are very small people looking to make themselves feel bigger. So try not to let him get any feelings of power over you or her. If she has one good, supportive parent--you--she will probably be OK, but it could be a tough year.... Good luck.
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