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Name: Northview New Member  
Title: 50/50 Custody Schedule
I am looking for some help to set a 50/50 shared parenting schedule that is a good fit for our situation. Both my X and I are on good terms and desire a schedule that puts our kids interests first but also allows for a good split for weekends for the other parts of our lives.I was surprised that after a search on the Internet there is very little in terms of schedules or other resources on this topic. Our kids are 4 and 7 and both her and I feel a week on -week off is to long so we are trying various 3 and 4 day rotating splits but have not come up with a good one yet. If anyone out there can let me know if they have a schedule like this that has worked for them I would appreciate the help or if you have a resource to consult that would also be helpful.

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Name: allcomments New Member
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Name: cmagne New Member
I too would love some advice on a 50/50 parenting plan. LPMom, I also live in GA and would like to learn more about your situation. Can you tell me what county you live in and perhaps who represented you?

Thanks for your story--it is good to know my idea can actually work.
Chris
magne@bellsouth.net
Name: ConfusedMom New Member
I personally feel a 2-5 schedule works best. My 5 year old stepdaughter seems to be happier since we started that. She use to jump from house to house. Monday-Mom/Tues-Dad/Wed.-Mom/Thurs. Dad/Fri,Sat,Sun-alternate. Now it is Mon and Tues. Mom Wed and Thurs. Dad Alternating weekends. I'm talking overnights.
Name: PASA-NJ New Member
I don't have a recommendation for a 50/50 schedule, but I it depends on where you and your ex live. Do you live near to each other? What are your work schedules? I would love to hear what you decide, or what you find works best for you. Awesome that you an your ex can co-parent effectively! Rock on!
Warm Regards,
Anna
www.pasanj.org

parentalalienationnj@gmail.com
Name: LPMom New Member
Best wishes on your plans. I have a 50/50 shared custody of my 13-yr old son, since the divorce 3 years ago. We do one week on, one week off. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, --- very dark time for the 1st month.... but then we got into the groove. I saw him "hanging in there" with us as he watched our cooperation and took cues from us that "all was going to be OK, and he was absolutely beloved and our priority". I believe now at 3 years out that it is the best decison we could have made. My son switches homes on Monday evenings right after school, staying in the respective home until the next Monday evening. In the middle of that 7-day span, we arrange a "date time" with the other parent. For example, he does a date night with Dad in the middle of my week; while, he and I opt for a Waffle House breakfast on Thursday mornings in the middle of his week at Dad's. This works for us, because our boy gets some stable time over that 7-day period. It is really disruptive for the kids to pass between their homes mid-week -- it breaks their stride in school and extracurricular activities. Likewise switching at the weekends is very disruptive to quality family and recreational time. The Monday afternoon changeover for us seems to flow easily, as we all adapt into another work week after great and active weekends. My son has been thriving and is very stable, confident, and supported. Of course, that also has to do with the fact that my ex and I respect each other, some general warmth developed after we had healed for a year, and we have Never, and I mean Never, spoken poorly of the other nor behaved in a derogatory manner in his presence. Anyway, the Georgia divorce decree reads that we share both joint physical and legal custody, alternating custody Monday to Monday each week. We share in all major education, health, development and well being decisions. The divorce decree Agreement addendum specifies in list form the custody for each holiday, as well as who claims the child tax deduction which year, all in an alternating pattern year by year. For example, whoever has our son during the 5-day Thanksgiving holiday, yields him to the other parent the big week of Christmas leading up to Christmas Day, and then gets him for the week between Christmas Day and New Year. Even though each holiday and vacation is spelled out in the Divorce Decree, ex-hubby and I are much more flexible and accomodating with each other in actual practice. The date-times I described above were arranged by my ex and I in a casual amiable manner outside the decree, as we adjusted to life in 2 households. At times, because of vacations or such, my son will express that he feels a little out of balance timewise and needs more time with the other family; we make that happen, because he comes first. What works for us at this point 3 years out, is that the Divorce Decree is clear but rigid, and we can fall back on it if we have a disagreement or if a new partner is complicating the arrangement. For example, one of us had a dating relationship last year where the new partner was resentful of any schedule accomodation/cooperation request, even though they enjoyed the time flexibility when it favored their travel plans. So my ex and I, rather than alienating a new love or creating an unfairly balanced flexibility, "took it back to the rules of the Divorce Decree" so there could be no concern of favoritism. When the new love experienced how rigid the schedule was and the effect on their plans, they loosened up and supported a more congenial flexible custody plan for sudden out-of-town trips, extended family visits, etc. It actually helped smooth the whole situation. Regarding child support, the Georgia court was rigid. They took my salary. They took his salary. They required affidavits of expenses per household. Then they ran it through a calculator. As joint custodians, they arrived at a child support number he owed me, and a child support number I owed him. The amounts cancelled each other out except for a couple hundred dollars that I owed him per month because: 1) he agreed to cover the health and dental insurance out of his salary, and 2) my salary was substantially higher than his. We had no say in the child support calculations in the Divorce Decree. Privately, we have worked out a different money arrangement that suits us both better, and formalized it in written agreement with 2 witnesses and a notary... but that is not legally binding. I am taking my chances with that, but feel okay with my decision.
Name: LauraJ New Member
For the first two years of our separation and divorce, my ex and I split weeks. We tried a few versions, but mostly settled on Sat. night to Wed. morning with one parent and Wed. night through Saturday with the other and then the next week the switch would be on Tuesday. So, three days one week, four days the next. As he got older this worked less well both for consistency in the school week and for a balanced weekend for chores and pleasure. When we each had him only one weekend day, we just wanted to have fun with him, so he was getting by with no chores and this is not the long-term precedent we wanted to set. By that time, because we lived close to each other (one block) and were on good terms, we moved to one week on, one week off, with our son able to see either of us on a mid-week evening if he was missing us. We've kept that schedule, with flexibility, ever since and it works well.
Name: tdavis New Member
My wife and I are going to mediation on the 11th of January and I am hoping for a 50/50 split, we are on fairly good terms, although she has never communicated her desires on custody; however, we have a 7 and 3.5 year old and I am like you I believe a week/week schedule is too long for either of the children to be with the other parent and we will most likely be living on a block or 2 apart. My proposal is that we will each have both of the children 3 days and 1 child to themselves 1 days for individual attention, and the weekend would be split so both parents would have the children either on Saturday or Sunday, if this makes senses.
Name: Stepmoma New Member
Hi we have been doing a week on week off custody schedule since may and this the only time this alters is in the event of thanksgiving or Christmas holiday. My question is what happens after the holidays when January 3rd comes and the go back to school? Whose week is it. It isn't defined in our decree and when I spoke with my Attorney she stated generally it offsets to the opposite parent that just had them regardless of whose week it would have been had there not been no holidays. For example we will have had them for one week up until Jan 3rd so then it would be the other parents turn to have them Jan 3rd week and that sets the presence for the new years week on week off schedule however the ex feels we need to count back to the beginning of December and pretending there was no holiday so it should be our week again Jan 3rd week..does anyone know how it's agreed upon if it's not in the decree orders and we can't agree on whose week again? Please help and I'm in Texas if that matters.
Name: horible divorce New Member
Don't do the 50/50 unless the ex is very able to handle the responsebility. My ex is only doing the 50/50 because it's a way to get back at me and not to pay that much in child support. My children are misserable and he is miserable but now it's too late. The parenting plan is set and if I say or do anything I'm in contempt. It is costing a mint just to go and get yelled at by the judge. I should have never never signed the parenting plan knowing that the only reason he wanted 50/50 was to get back at me. So, my advise be very very sure he can handle a 50/50 split. Think about school if you have an agreement on sole education decision think about that because he has tried to get it changed and we went to court. Then his whole point was to make me travel 30 minutes across town for school every other week. It's rediculous, everyone is miserable but now it will cost $2000.00 for a CFI to get evidence to undo the parenting plan, so make sure what you are signing, it is permanent and very very hard to change after the fact, it will also cost me over $20,000.00 in lawyer and fees and still we are fighting...

Good luck
Name: ginahoust New Member
We are in the process of our divorce and ready to start on the decree and agree on 50/50 custody (Friday - Friday). Is anyone willing to e-mail me the wording from their decree?
Name: closefather New Member
Me and my ex alternate weeks in Florida (Friday to Friday). I will pick him up (he is in 1st grade) at school on Friday afternoon and keep him until the next Friday morning. But me and my ex do not get along at all. She thought the mother gets the baby and she gets to call the shots...but when the father (me) has zero crime record, no smoking, no alcohol at all, no violence, no drugs, and very devoted to his son, she learned that she did not have the weight she thought was going to be awarded to her. How do you take away from a father that has been a excellent father from day 1. My question is ...he is starting to play sports and she has a problem with the "commitment" that is involved in sports, especially football. She signed over that he goes to school in my area since she does work about 15 minutes away (her home is 15min away in the opposite direction). My son wants to play football and she is not allowing it unless it is located in between both of us. I tell her they do not allow you to play that way...I have offered to reduce her driving in half...no......he plays 2 years in my area and then I will move closer to the middle and he can play there for the next 5 years...no.....I plan on coaching because my son wants me too...and my commitment is for him but since I do not go to her home area is that there was a family argument that the police was called and I am trying to stay completely away from her house to avoid any future outbreaks....I do not approve of her not doing any homework with him...or reading...or math ...writing...etc....she does none of this at her home, she blames her work is heavy.....any advise? because she is rejecting anything unless it is on her front step.
Name: jaybo New Member
I wonder who the 'our' refers to in your statements. Maybe the best fit would be to work around what the kids think is best.......
Name: libralass New Member
OOOps the last weds 8pm should read 8am...

Basically I have him Mon - Wed his Dad has him Wed to Fri 8am but every other weekend when we do not have sole custody or no custody his father keeps him until Sat evening if he is not having him for the whole weekend. Or I have him from Friday 8am through the weekend until Wed when it is next his day again.

I hope that makes sense... it actually does if you draw out the times below on a calendar.
Name: libralass New Member
This is a little different.

Just starting out on this but this is what our my solicitors suggested as it means we both spend time with our children 3 weekends out of the 4.

Mum Mon 8am - wed 8am,
Dad Wed 8am - Fri 8am,
Mum Fri 8am - Wed 8am,
Dad Wed 8am - Sat 5pm,
Mum Sat 5pm - Wed 8am,
Dad Wed 8am - Mon 8am,
Mum Mon 8am - Wed 8am,
Dad Wed 8am - Sat 5pm,
Mum Sat 5pm - Wed 8pm,
Dad wed 8pm - Fri 8am, etc etc

I hope that makes sense we only have one boy who is 9 but it means I get to spend 3 Sundays out of 4 with him which was important for me as I come from a large family and tend to all get together on Sundays and I don't want him to miss out on that. Spending quality time with both of us on a weekend was very important but it also gives us the flexibility to move on with our lives as people and not just parents.
Name: Sanders77 New Member
my ex and worked on this schedule. You will have them on Mon,Tues, and then your x will have them Weds,Thurs, then you will have them Fri,Sat,and Sun. Then the next week your x will have Mon,Tues, and then you will have them Weds,Thurs, then your ex will have them Fri,Sat,and Sun.

it works great for us
Name: divco New Member
I agree with you that a week is too long to go without seeing the children.I have a week on week off arrangemnt with my ex but in our Agreement the parent without the physical custody of the children for the week has the right to see the childten for dinner one night during the week. We "switch" custody every Friday and usually do the "mid week" on Tuesday nights. So I only go without seeing the children every other Sat, Sun, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. I know one dinner on the weeks without the children is not much, but it does make a difference. The mid week is not an obligation but a right to be acted upon based on the wishes of the parent who does not have the childten that week. I jhope that helps
Name: robjj New Member
I am in a similar situation. We are in the process of divorcing and are talking about parenting schedule. We have 3 boys ages 7, 11, 13. We both would like a 50/50 split if it makes sense. We have had a tranditional arragement during our marriage. My wife was a stay at home mom since our first child was born and I have had pretty much at 9-5 job.

We are thinking about the 2/2/3 schedule but this would most likely me day care between 3 (when kids get off school) and 6 when I get home from work. My wife will need to transition back in the work force but she is interested in retail which could be more flexibilty.

I would like to keep the stability of the weekdays and school. For now, we are planning to have my wife keep the house and I would find a place nearby (within 5-10 miles). I was wondering if any one has done a m-f with mom and 3 weekends with dad. One weekend a month with mom. Something like this. I see the kids after school a lot becuase I coach them in sports and they all play.

Looking for workability. My wife and I are getting a long pretty good right now but we are just at the beginning of this. We have been working on our marriage through therapy and couples groups for 6-7 years so we have some training on things.
Name: Francesca New Member
My ex and I have a pretty awesome schedule for us. He has classes that he takes on Tues. and Thurs. so I have our daughter Tues. and Thurs. while he has her Mon. and Wed. then we alternate the weekends. We have had this schedule for about 7 months now and it is working out thus far.
Name: ssg286 New Member
I have been reading about the 50/50 schedule, but, is there any child support involved especially with the 1wk on/off or 4/3?
Name: luvmybug New Member
I actually disagree with the 2-2-3 or 3-4 schedule. I have found that the children don't get the opportunity to "settle in" at either home. My husband and I have 3 children between us, he has 2 daughters from a previous marriage and I have 1 daughter from a previous marriage. We had been doing the 2-2-3 with his children (I have sole custody of my daughter) schedule and it was so choppy and there was never any continuity. By the time the his girls would settle in at our house it was time to go back to their mom's house and vice versa. It was difficult for school work as well. School work or CCD books would be accidently left at the other parent's home. We have switched to the week on and week off schedule and then on either Tuesday or Wednesday night of each week the girls have dinner with the parent they aren't with that week. For example, this week we have the girls so they will eat dinner with their mom on Wednesday night. Next week when they are at their mom's they will have dinner with us on Wednesday night. They never have to go a whole week without seeing the other parent and it provides a more continuous and less choppy schedule. Getting school work done and turned it has been easier. It has been great for spending quality time together as well. It is just a calmer schedule all the way around.
Name: vabsnj New Member
I just joined as a member in order to respond to you ... I hope the message I'm replying to isn't months or years old.

I have been divorced for 3 years now. My children were simliar in age to yours at that time. Both their dad and I remained in the same town.

I happened upon one arrangement in my research back then that has worked out beautifully for us. My goals were to honor a 50/50 arrangement, alternate weekends, not have to "transfer" the children in person (heaven forbid they cling to one of us not wanting to go to the other), and above all reduce trauma for the kids and give them something predictable.

Weekends start Friday after the kids go to school, and end Monday when the kids go to school. You'll notice this leaves 4 other nights. A typical schedule looks like this:
Monday 8:00 am - Wednesday 8:00 am they're "dad's" -- he picks them up from school and gets them to school.
Wednesday 8:00 am - Friday 8:00 am they're "mom's" -- I pick them up from school and get them to school.
Then we alternate the weekends: Friday 8:00 am - Monday 8:00 am.

If you draw out two weeks on a calendar, you'll see how easy and predictable this is for everyone involved. It's also very easy to post on a calendar so the kids always know what is coming up and who they'll be with.

Their dad and I have a civil relationship and can make this work. We have pre-defined holidays, and make adjustments here and there when necessary, but overall, this schedule has help wonderfully for 3 years!

By the way, my children are excelling at school, and very well adjusted and I constantly hear from people how they seem much happier. There is no confusion about schedule on their part -- but, they're dad and I do need to work together to help them to get things back and forth, etc.

I hope you're able to run with this and make it your own.
Name: iParent New Member
50/50 Custody, also referred to as "Shared Parenting" can help in many respects to alleviate parental strife and conflict, provided that parents are living within 30 minutes travel time of one another. Even in highly conflicted cases, it can work better than hiring lawyers (who will quickly empty BOTH of your bank accounts, and send you from divorce court to bankruptcy court. There's a Shared Parenting FAQ available by the Illinois Alliance for Parents and Children on their Blog, which looks like a good primer on the subject, http://illinoisparentsandchildren.blogspot.com/2
006/10/everything-you-always-wanted-to-know.html
Name: missk New Member
Everyone is different. This following is what works for us. Just another idea so you can think outside the box for what would be best for your kids and you. It is my personal opinion as a teacher and after watching 75 students per year many of whom are shared custody kids, that kids need one stable home. They do better with their school work and there is less confusion and more stability in their lives. The ones who are switching back and forth especially mid week consistently have trouble. I am not saying it can not work, but I feel that it is better to sleep at the same house consistently during the school year.

I am the mother of two boys 7 and 9. We have been divorced for 3 1/2 years. Dad and I are very good friends (now) and respectful of each other at all times (now). So, this might not work for those who fight a lot because there is a lot of interaction and opportunities for battles. But, here is what we do that we feel is the BEST for our boys. Sometimes a pain for us, but sometimes great too.

Boys live with me as their primary home. I'm in charge of school stuff as I'm a teacher and dad isn't into school work so much, although he will help w/ projects when asked. Kids spend every night here and only sleep at dad's on Friday (Boys Night and "mom's night out"). During the summer they can spend the night w/dad whenever he has a day off as well.

I pick up kids from school and then drop them off at daddys every day. Dad gets them every day after school M-F for an hour or two, sometimes all evening if the kids need him. Sometimes he feeds them dinner, sometimes I do. We are able to work this out daily depending on homework loads, scouts, piano lessons, etc. If the boys want daddy to put them to bed, I allow him to come to my home and do that as well. Although we are "in charge" because WE are the parents, we allow for the kids needs and if they need mommy, then dad drops off and heads home. If they need dad, I run errands and let them have time together. (Again, only works because I trust him to be in my home alone with them).

We are welcome at each other's homes for holidays as neither of us wants to miss those important days. Yes, we both have time for dating and such. I love it because I have every Friday night off and he loves it because he can go out every night BUT Friday. It is a total win win situation for us both and the children are well adjusted and happy. Lots of people at the children's school don't even know we are divorced because we always attend parent teacher conferences, PTA meeting and programs togther to present a united front for our kids. We don't force the school to send double copies of papers, notices and report cards. We share info about the kids.

I will not lie, this has been tricky at many points, but we both tell ourselves every day that this is NOT about us, this is about them. And, it works. Really well.

Of course, the fact that we spent 7 out of 9 yrs of marriage in counseling could be the very thing that allows us to get along now. But, if we can do it after years of infidelity and emotional seperation, I'm sure there are others out there who can too. Good luck everyone. And, remember it's about the kids.
Name: gwin New Member
We have the same schedule as me&my3 and Imac have posted here and it works well. I wasn't sure at first if the kids could get used to it, but they did! They like knowing they are always at mom's Monday/Tuesday, and dad's Wed./Thurs. with alternating Friday's-Sunday. It allows both of us mom's to have set part time jobs we can commit to while the kids' are at one or the other, it allows the kids to settle in a little on the 5 day stretch at each house, and my husband to work longer on the days we don't have everyone (I have two of my own so I'm always "on" regardless), and for each parent to evenly participate in the children's schooling. The switch time is when school starts, so for example, when they go back to their mom's for their Friday-Tuseday night stretch our responsibility is for Wednesday school start (so for example if they are sick that day or it is a school holiday we're "it") and they go back to her responsibility that next Monday morning at 8:30a. I can tell you that 8:30 a.m. does not continue to work well in the summers (unless the kids have to get up anyways to go to daycare which was our case at first), so for the 3 summer months we switch the night prior at 7:30 p.m. (after dinner). So in my case, I would have them back Tuesday night rather than Wednesday morning for our 5 day stretch and she get's them back Sunday night instead of Monday morning. I hope this makes sense and helps! My last advise in making sure you adequately schedule holiday time, I assume you will be switching each year?...so again like summers, it is a challenge if they are scheduled to come back at the same 8:30 a.m. time, what works again here is switching the night prior to the holiday day (the kids truly like waking up where they are going to be for that day, that seems to make sense to me, but may not be the case for everyone). Obviously Halloween and and the 4th of July would be the night of. Again, I hope this helps!
Name: tpippin
My soon to be ex and I are in agreement on a 50/50 schedule. Problem is our attorney's are in the way. I would like to fire them and write our own agreement. Does anyone have any written excerpts from their decree that could be shared? The attorneys say that a primary and conservatory possessor must be named designating such duties/responsibilities as establishing residency. We live 3 miles apart and agree it is in the best interest of the child to keep her in the same school that she has been growing up in with her established social network. We both own our own homes (real reason for the attorney's in the first place/property division/protection) and both have committed to maintaining these same residences through our child's high school graduation at a minimum. I don't see why there has to be such division in naming conservators. Why not Joint Legal and Managing Conservators with Equal Parenting Responsibility through a Written Parenting Agreement?
Name: pensiero
Hello my exhusband and I have (for the last 3 yrs) kept to a schedule of:

Mom's House Wed after school thru Saturday at 5:00pm one week and Wed after school thru Sunday the following week at 5:00pm and then at:

Dad's House Sat 5:00 pm thru Wed morning and then Sunday at 5:00 thru Wed morning.

This has worked and because my daughter is in school we both get to partake in her school work.
Name: TheBear&TheBean
My wife filed for a divorce. I have to be able to be with my daughter more than every other weekend. I have been trying to get my wife to agree on a 50/50 custody and until I came to this page, I wasn't at all sure how to go about that or present a plan to her that gave my daughter some stability and structure. The plan where the child/children is with one parent on Monday and Tuesday then with the other on Wednesday and Thursday and the parents alternate 3 day weekends sounds perfect to me. It gives the parents each 5 days with their kids on their weekends. I just wanted to thank all of you who responded to Northview's question and Thanks to Northview for asking it. It has been a tremendous help and has eased some worry and pain. Thank you all so much.
Name: Ms. Chambers
I currently am using the 3-4 day week rotating schedule with my ex and it is working out just fine. i think the main sacrific you will have is getting your schedule to meet that demand. i have a special work schedule that is flexable enough to do that scheule with my ex. we also only live 20 min apart and have decided the school district he will be attending. with that the primary school district parent should have the child 3 out of the 5 school nights. If you both want to live even closer than you can adjust the schedule as you please. so you see i don't think it is as easy as just picking a schedule but really the two of you sitting down and evaluating your schedule with the children's and picking the best one that fits for your family. and yes we all know that your family is not what it once was but it is still your family.
Name: AGina
I don't have an answer but I do want to thank everyone for replying! I am in the same position as Northview and found this site very helpful!! I am going to try the mon-tues/wed-thur/everyother weekend suggestion. The other issue for me was child care- I don't want my kids to be with a sitter when I am home so I am taking the kids from after school until 5:30 for my x's two days.
Name: peaches1
Northview, I am looking for the same thing. I am trying to find a 50/50 custody arrangement with my kids as well. My husband has an odd work schedule and has 2 other kids from a previous marriage so I am trying to have to work around that as well. Because of his days off, he would have the kids from Wed. after school until Sat. My work schedule is M-F and weekends off. We are arguing about Sat. because that is the only day that he will have the kids when not in school but his work schedule will allow him to have them everyday after school where mine will not. I suggested the every other Sat. with him having them until 5pm and the alternating Sat. that I could pick them up at 9am and the Sat. that I have the kids he will have with his teen-age daughters(our kids are 5 & 3) thus allowing him some alone time with them as well. He is not agreeing to this. If someone else has another suggestion, please let me know or if what I am doing seems reasonable, please let me know as well.
Northview, let me know if you were able to come up with a schedule.....
Name: lmac
My ex husband and I do a rotating schedule that has worked really well for our two boys (they are now 12 and 10, but we started this when they were 8 and 6). It's a rotating 2/2/3 schedule. For example, they would be with me Mon/Tue...with their dad Wed/Thur...then with me for a three-day weekend...back to their dad Mon/Tue...me wed/thur....dad for a three-day weekend. This evens out the weekends perfectly AND frees each of us up on every weeknight. I have a group of friends who always go out to watch Monday night football together. Before we went with this schedule, I could never go because the boys were always with me on Monday. Now, I can go every other Monday. Hope this helps. I just posted a question, too...but it doesn't look like this site has a lot of activity.
Name: mom2lexi
I have been on a week on week off schedule for the past 2 years with my kids. Theya re now 5 and 8, and it works out really well for us. Their dad has no contact with them duringmy week, but I always call them a few times a week, and will stop by at least once. We also do a date night once a month where we alternate with each child so we get that one on one alone time with them. It has worked out well and the kids like it. My son (5 YO) has said he misses his dad on my week, but his father still makes no effort to see them on the week off. I could never go the week without talking to or seeingthem. It is too long!
Name: me&my3
We have been on a 5/2 split for 9 years and it seems to work well. The kids are always with me Monday and Tuesday, and always with Dad Wednesday and Thursday. We each alternate weekends. So for me, when it's my weekend, the kids are with me for 5 days straight (Friday night through Tuesday night). His 5 day begins on his Wednesday night through until Sunday night.

The kids are 13 and 10 now.

Hope this helps!
Name: surfgur
The new preferred schedule in CA is this: I have the kids Monday and Tuesday, my ex has them Wednesday and Thursday, and we alternate week-ends.

It give you a nice stretch of time with and without them once a month.

We try to have dinner as a family once a month, and it has helped the transition quite a bit.
Name: Sandbob
One you might consider is Sun 5 pm thru Wed am with one, and Wed am thru Fri for the other and Sat til Sun at 5 every other weekend. It works out to be pretty close to 50/50 and is not as disruptive to the children as some other schedules.
Name: dkukich New Member
A co-worker of mine who is getting a divorce has a week-on/week-off schedule, but on the week off, they still take the kids for dinner once or twice. His kids are teenagers, so it may not be as good for young kids. But it's nice because it requires less moving around for the kids but eliminates the problem of going 7 days without kids and parent seeing each other.
Name: Kaylea New Member
My kids go with their father every other week... they get off the buss at their fathers every other friday and back to me every other friday and what ever week we have we have that week end... so if they get off his house that friday they stay with him that week end and that week same with me... its worked great and the kids love it only thing thats not working well if his girl friend and him being an ass but that would be no matter what scedual we had
Name: hlngplm New Member
Northview,I have more of a 53%-47% split with my ex. I have the girls Sunday noon thru Thursday morning when I drop them off at school. He then picks them up from school and then has them until he drops them off with me on Sundays. It's a good schedule, and the girls do get to have time with both parents but it does have it's draw back as well. I become the "responsible" parent in charge of school, homework, chores and most discipline and he get's to play with them on the week-ends.Hope this helps...custody plans are what you make them to be. Invent your own. We did.Kathleen
Name: tommyknockers1313 Member
Dear Northview We have had joint custody for over 2 yrs now. We switch every week. We don't get a long at all and we barely talk but it works. if you and your ex are talking it should be no problem. There are no rules. Whatever you guys want as long as you both agree. Sit down and think about it the main thing is to cover holidays and times good luck
Name: coppertone Member
My ex and I live about 10 minutes apart, so the kids can go to the same school. I have them one full week ( Friday to Friday) and then we switch over to Dad's house for a full week.The take very little stuff back and forth and so far this situation works well for us and the kids.
Name: fit-kitty Member
my X and i set a schedule where he can take son after work for a few hrs, but always must return son at nite for bed. (X leaves early morning for work) and then we have every other weekends. nice cuz son always gets to see us daily as he did if we were together.
Name: Dee2 Member
In the book "Divorce From Hell", the author was using the "5 and 2" method. It worked well for her situation. The child would spend 5 days with one and 2 with the other so that she never spent more than 5 days w/o seeing the other parent. That's all I can recall tho. The author's name is "Wendy Dennis" and a net search may bring up some reference to it.Hope that helps.
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