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Name: Northview New Member   Title: 50/50 Custody Schedule

I am looking for some help to set a 50/50 shared parenting schedule that is a good fit for our situation. Both my X and I are on good terms and desire a schedule that puts our kids interests first but also allows for a good split for weekends for the other parts of our lives.I was surprised that after a search on the Internet there is very little in terms of schedules or other resources on this topic. Our kids are 4 and 7 and both her and I feel a week on -week off is to long so we are trying various 3 and 4 day rotating splits but have not come up with a good one yet. If anyone out there can let me know if they have a schedule like this that has worked for them I would appreciate the help or if you have a resource to consult that would also be helpful.

Name: gwin New Member

We have the same schedule as me&my3 and Imac have posted here and it works well. I wasn't sure at first if the kids could get used to it, but they did! They like knowing they are always at mom's Monday/Tuesday, and dad's Wed./Thurs. with alternating Friday's-Sunday. It allows both of us mom's to have set part time jobs we can commit to while the kids' are at one or the other, it allows the kids to settle in a little on the 5 day stretch at each house, and my husband to work longer on the days we don't have everyone (I have two of my own so I'm always "on" regardless), and for each parent to evenly participate in the children's schooling. The switch time is when school starts, so for example, when they go back to their mom's for their Friday-Tuseday night stretch our responsibility is for Wednesday school start (so for example if they are sick that day or it is a school holiday we're "it") and they go back to her responsibility that next Monday morning at 8:30a. I can tell you that 8:30 a.m. does not continue to work well in the summers (unless the kids have to get up anyways to go to daycare which was our case at first), so for the 3 summer months we switch the night prior at 7:30 p.m. (after dinner). So in my case, I would have them back Tuesday night rather than Wednesday morning for our 5 day stretch and she get's them back Sunday night instead of Monday morning. I hope this makes sense and helps! My last advise in making sure you adequately schedule holiday time, I assume you will be switching each year?...so again like summers, it is a challenge if they are scheduled to come back at the same 8:30 a.m. time, what works again here is switching the night prior to the holiday day (the kids truly like waking up where they are going to be for that day, that seems to make sense to me, but may not be the case for everyone). Obviously Halloween and and the 4th of July would be the night of. Again, I hope this helps!

Name: tpippin

My soon to be ex and I are in agreement on a 50/50 schedule. Problem is our attorney's are in the way. I would like to fire them and write our own agreement. Does anyone have any written excerpts from their decree that could be shared? The attorneys say that a primary and conservatory possessor must be named designating such duties/responsibilities as establishing residency. We live 3 miles apart and agree it is in the best interest of the child to keep her in the same school that she has been growing up in with her established social network. We both own our own homes (real reason for the attorney's in the first place/property division/protection) and both have committed to maintaining these same residences through our child's high school graduation at a minimum. I don't see why there has to be such division in naming conservators. Why not Joint Legal and Managing Conservators with Equal Parenting Responsibility through a Written Parenting Agreement?

Name: pensiero

Hello my exhusband and I have (for the last 3 yrs) kept to a schedule of:

Mom's House Wed after school thru Saturday at 5:00pm one week and Wed after school thru Sunday the following week at 5:00pm and then at:

Dad's House Sat 5:00 pm thru Wed morning and then Sunday at 5:00 thru Wed morning.

This has worked and because my daughter is in school we both get to partake in her school work.

Name: TheBear&TheBean

My wife filed for a divorce. I have to be able to be with my daughter more than every other weekend. I have been trying to get my wife to agree on a 50/50 custody and until I came to this page, I wasn't at all sure how to go about that or present a plan to her that gave my daughter some stability and structure. The plan where the child/children is with one parent on Monday and Tuesday then with the other on Wednesday and Thursday and the parents alternate 3 day weekends sounds perfect to me. It gives the parents each 5 days with their kids on their weekends. I just wanted to thank all of you who responded to Northview's question and Thanks to Northview for asking it. It has been a tremendous help and has eased some worry and pain. Thank you all so much.

Name: Ms. Chambers

I currently am using the 3-4 day week rotating schedule with my ex and it is working out just fine. i think the main sacrific you will have is getting your schedule to meet that demand. i have a special work schedule that is flexable enough to do that scheule with my ex. we also only live 20 min apart and have decided the school district he will be attending. with that the primary school district parent should have the child 3 out of the 5 school nights. If you both want to live even closer than you can adjust the schedule as you please. so you see i don't think it is as easy as just picking a schedule but really the two of you sitting down and evaluating your schedule with the children's and picking the best one that fits for your family. and yes we all know that your family is not what it once was but it is still your family.

Name: AGina

I don't have an answer but I do want to thank everyone for replying! I am in the same position as Northview and found this site very helpful!! I am going to try the mon-tues/wed-thur/everyother weekend suggestion. The other issue for me was child care- I don't want my kids to be with a sitter when I am home so I am taking the kids from after school until 5:30 for my x's two days.

Name: peaches1

Northview, I am looking for the same thing. I am trying to find a 50/50 custody arrangement with my kids as well. My husband has an odd work schedule and has 2 other kids from a previous marriage so I am trying to have to work around that as well. Because of his days off, he would have the kids from Wed. after school until Sat. My work schedule is M-F and weekends off. We are arguing about Sat. because that is the only day that he will have the kids when not in school but his work schedule will allow him to have them everyday after school where mine will not. I suggested the every other Sat. with him having them until 5pm and the alternating Sat. that I could pick them up at 9am and the Sat. that I have the kids he will have with his teen-age daughters(our kids are 5 & 3) thus allowing him some alone time with them as well. He is not agreeing to this. If someone else has another suggestion, please let me know or if what I am doing seems reasonable, please let me know as well.
Northview, let me know if you were able to come up with a schedule.....

Name: lmac

My ex husband and I do a rotating schedule that has worked really well for our two boys (they are now 12 and 10, but we started this when they were 8 and 6). It's a rotating 2/2/3 schedule. For example, they would be with me Mon/Tue...with their dad Wed/Thur...then with me for a three-day weekend...back to their dad Mon/Tue...me wed/thur....dad for a three-day weekend. This evens out the weekends perfectly AND frees each of us up on every weeknight. I have a group of friends who always go out to watch Monday night football together. Before we went with this schedule, I could never go because the boys were always with me on Monday. Now, I can go every other Monday. Hope this helps. I just posted a question, too...but it doesn't look like this site has a lot of activity.

Name: mom2lexi

I have been on a week on week off schedule for the past 2 years with my kids. Theya re now 5 and 8, and it works out really well for us. Their dad has no contact with them duringmy week, but I always call them a few times a week, and will stop by at least once. We also do a date night once a month where we alternate with each child so we get that one on one alone time with them. It has worked out well and the kids like it. My son (5 YO) has said he misses his dad on my week, but his father still makes no effort to see them on the week off. I could never go the week without talking to or seeingthem. It is too long!

Name: me&my3

We have been on a 5/2 split for 9 years and it seems to work well. The kids are always with me Monday and Tuesday, and always with Dad Wednesday and Thursday. We each alternate weekends. So for me, when it's my weekend, the kids are with me for 5 days straight (Friday night through Tuesday night). His 5 day begins on his Wednesday night through until Sunday night.

The kids are 13 and 10 now.

Hope this helps!

Name: surfgur

The new preferred schedule in CA is this: I have the kids Monday and Tuesday, my ex has them Wednesday and Thursday, and we alternate week-ends.

It give you a nice stretch of time with and without them once a month.

We try to have dinner as a family once a month, and it has helped the transition quite a bit.

Name: Sandbob

One you might consider is Sun 5 pm thru Wed am with one, and Wed am thru Fri for the other and Sat til Sun at 5 every other weekend. It works out to be pretty close to 50/50 and is not as disruptive to the children as some other schedules.

Name: dkukich New Member

A co-worker of mine who is getting a divorce has a week-on/week-off schedule, but on the week off, they still take the kids for dinner once or twice. His kids are teenagers, so it may not be as good for young kids. But it's nice because it requires less moving around for the kids but eliminates the problem of going 7 days without kids and parent seeing each other.

Name: Kaylea New Member

My kids go with their father every other week... they get off the buss at their fathers every other friday and back to me every other friday and what ever week we have we have that week end... so if they get off his house that friday they stay with him that week end and that week same with me... its worked great and the kids love it only thing thats not working well if his girl friend and him being an ass but that would be no matter what scedual we had

Name: hlngplm New Member

Northview,I have more of a 53%-47% split with my ex. I have the girls Sunday noon thru Thursday morning when I drop them off at school. He then picks them up from school and then has them until he drops them off with me on Sundays. It's a good schedule, and the girls do get to have time with both parents but it does have it's draw back as well. I become the "responsible" parent in charge of school, homework, chores and most discipline and he get's to play with them on the week-ends.Hope this helps...custody plans are what you make them to be. Invent your own. We did.Kathleen

Name: tommyknockers1313 Member

Dear Northview We have had joint custody for over 2 yrs now. We switch every week. We don't get a long at all and we barely talk but it works. if you and your ex are talking it should be no problem. There are no rules. Whatever you guys want as long as you both agree. Sit down and think about it the main thing is to cover holidays and times good luck

Name: coppertone Member

My ex and I live about 10 minutes apart, so the kids can go to the same school. I have them one full week ( Friday to Friday) and then we switch over to Dad's house for a full week.The take very little stuff back and forth and so far this situation works well for us and the kids.

Name: fit-kitty Member

my X and i set a schedule where he can take son after work for a few hrs, but always must return son at nite for bed. (X leaves early morning for work) and then we have every other weekends. nice cuz son always gets to see us daily as he did if we were together.

Name: Dee2 Member

In the book "Divorce From Hell", the author was using the "5 and 2" method. It worked well for her situation. The child would spend 5 days with one and 2 with the other so that she never spent more than 5 days w/o seeing the other parent. That's all I can recall tho. The author's name is "Wendy Dennis" and a net search may bring up some reference to it.Hope that helps.