Login / Register | Select Category » Alimony and Support Issues » he wants support from me....

Name: Nell New Member   Title: he wants support from me....

I make double of what my husband makes, we have 2 children, which I am the primary caretaker. I want a divorce but want to protect my finances. He already told me he would take me to the cleaners and request alimony, spousal support. We've been married for 7yrs. Is there anything I can do to protect my assests before I file for divorce?

Name: gronup New Member

I have your situation exactly, I was the primary wage earner and caregiver and am currently at the tail end of a contentious divorce. You have to set the stage before you can begin to even speak to your spouse regarding a divorce. Find an attorney so you can begin an exit strategy, because you are going to to need both! Divorce favors men and at home mothers, so its totally up to you to present yourself in a favorable light, and protect your assets. Document everything via calendar and receipts and statements. Good luck because this is not easy.

Name: catty New Member

if you open a saftey deposit and only your name on it you can take what ever money you want and put it in their and thier are no questions. I have never heard of a judge that will order to have it opened. plus men are usually to stupid to see that you have one opened in your name and the banks can't let him have a access

Name: JohnDude New Member

I agree about the posting declaring yourself primary caretaker that will probably work

Name: nicbrucker New Member

What state do you live in? I am a Certified Financial Divorce Planner in IL, though I am able to help people who live in other states. There are steps you can take to protect yourself financially, though you will not be able to legally hide money or assets. Spousal support will depend on several factors, depending on your state of residence. Check out my website, especially the "First Financial Steps" page, and call me if I can be of any help.

www.thesapientsolution.com

Good luck and call me if you need any questions answered. This can be an overwhelming time and you can need to make well-informed decisions. Don't let him scare you into submission.

Nicole

Name: div2wice New Member

Haha... that is hilarious! Really it is, sometimes I don't understand what people are thinking.
He can request all he likes but unless he's been the "stay at home dad" for 7 years and you were the bread winner, I do not see any chance of him getting support/alimony from any court. Especially since you're the primary provider for the children ! If anyone is going to be paying, it will most likely be him -- child support. He's obviously saying this to scare you out of filing, he really does not have a leg to stand on here...
I really do not know of anything you can do to protect your assets. If you were to move money out of a joint account into a personal account with just your name, it could look fishy to the court. I would keep things as they are ,file for divorce and state to your lawyer (if you have one) his comments and your concerns -- that's what they get paid for, to protect you!
Best of luck,
Pamela

Name: madalex Member

If you both work, I am not sure how you can call yourself the "primary caretaker", as that term is usually used by the spouse that stays home with the children, while the other spouse works.

That being said, if you make much more money than him, why shouldn't you have to pay spousal support for some period (especially as you are the one that wants to end the marriage)? Spousal support is generally paid for approx. 1/2 the length of the marriage in order to, among other things, help equalize incomes during the transition period following a divorce. Your husband is not "taking you to the cleaners" by requesting spousal support; he is merely doing what millions of women do (and feel they are entitled to do) when a marriage ends.