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Name: olga New Member  
Title: alimony in long marriage
I have been married for over 25 years and I am contemplating divorce.I allways worked,but I make about a third of what my husband makes.We have no minor children.I am trying to find out if I could get alimony,and how much would that be,so I can have a more realistic picture of my financial life after divorce.My husband makes around 100,000,while I make roughlly 30,000.I would appreciate any input on this topic.Thanks!

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Name: Sue123 New Member
It depends alot on where you live.
Name: maplesugar
I won't be seeking anything more than I've already been given...child support only until the age we both agreed to. If the ex gets an inheritance, that's his business as will be mine. We're no longer married. What happens to him in his future is his own business. My kids are grown and child support for them will end soon. Our situation is civil and we both have very good jobs so we won't be opening up any agreements, either. Perhaps when he inherits, he'll be happy to share some of it with his kids. I don't expect anything.
Name: fairtreatment Member
Folks, I am talking about the receipt of an inheritance sometime after the separation agreement is signed. Point being, if you are paying out alimony and your ex receives a large inheritance, you can raise a motion to revisit the quantum of payout based on need (why should you continue to pay if the other party doesn't have the need). Perhaps it could work the reverse way too but I'm not sure (my focus is that I know one day my sticky fingered ex will receieve a sizable inheritance, hence, I had discussions about this when I was active with my lawyer trying to obtain settlement).Check the "material change in circumstances" section of your separation agreement (you should have one). One clause in mine says there is a requirement for ongoing financial disclosure and that either party is required to disclose receipt of substantial gifts as well as inheritances.
Name: Tim New Member
Fair Treatment, As far as I see it you have it in your agreement that disclosure will ensure you know when she receives this inheritence, at this time you can have the Will Subpenaed into the court if she is unwilling to cooperate. As for signing the clause in the agreement I will be sure to watch for that one, I have to disclose my pay in regards to child support but I would like to shield anything (value) from her should I inherit anytime in the future. Your best bet though is to wait until she receives it then immediately get a lawyer, so that you get the most up to date info. Use the lawyers free one hour consultation to get a feel for your rights before commiting to a costly legal action, the result has to be worth at least 50% more to you than the cost.
Name: Tim New Member
Maple: Find a new lawyer. As for being sole property of the benificary, if the seperation agreement is not settled and the divorce not granted the Spouse certainly can make a claim because you are still legally married.I have had 3 lawyers during this divorce and all 3 told me the same thing. As for how would she find out you won money, if it were a small amount no problem to hide, a larger amount all she has to do is sapena your bank records as evidence, also the lotteries publish lists of large winners open to both the public and the Income Tax Dept.
Name: maplesugar
My lawyer told me that inheritances are not taken into account in settlements...separation or divorce unless that money was used to purchase joint property or other goods while married. Once separated or divorced, any inherited money or property becomes the sole property of the beneficiary and cannot be claimed by the ex. Since it's not employment income, which they have a right to know about, how would they know you've inherited or won anything anyway unless you tell them?
Name: maplesugar
Tim,all my stuff is settled and I'm content with the outcome. Thanfully, I'm no longer in need of lawyers. I don't buy lottery tickets so there's no chance of a big payoff. When and if I ever inherit money, no one will know.
Name: Tim New Member
My lawyer advised me that due to my parents being elderly that I would be well advised to have them amend any part of their Will that would leave me anything, reason being, since we were only seperated she could still make claim on part of my inheritance. The amendment is to reconize that I am in a divorce and they leave to me not them. If it is amount of cash, she can re-claim my raise in income for the next year. If you win a lottery under $1000 she has no claim, if over she can put forth a request to re-examine your income for support purposes. To help me get around all of this I agreed to allow the Divorce to be passed by the court before the Seperation Agreement was finialized. Although I am now legally divorced the Seperation still has not been finialized, but any real property Willed to me is now protected.
Name: fairtreatment Member
Hurtin York:The longer the marriage the more they penalize you.Typically what happens with long term marriages is they attempt to equalize the income. After calculating the child support they then figure out how much more you would pay as spousal support to make it 50/50. In the event that the children end up living with their mother they have awarded up to 60% to the mother and the worker (you) ends up with 40% to live on.Having said that, when the children are no longer dependents and you don't have to pay child support anymore, those that are truly greedy are taking their ex-husbands back to court (years later) to increase the alimony and balance to a 50/50 arrangement(why do they call it that trendy name "spousal support" anyway; the person is no longer your spouse !!).Given the lax court system that doesn't practice/enforce the lower income earner to get back into the workforce and pursue economic self sufficiency, the ex-husband has a financial prison term for life......unless, of course, there is a material change in circumstances with the ex-wife (like she gets remarried, wins a lottery, receives a large inheritance etc.).
Name: HurtInYork New Member
fairtreatment:Are you serious about lotteries and inheritances? Are you suggesting that if either party wins or inherits AFTER divorce, that the other party can make a claim based on that?H.I.Y.
Name: Tim New Member
Given the above responses, I hope everyone thinks twice before throwing the term Dead Beat Dad around. A guy recently told me his Ex got as greedy as it comes, he quit his job, turned his severence package over to his creditors before the court knew what happened , he then went on welfare and started working under the table. He is actually making more now than he was able to paying her. Her prize in this case is she has been forced to file for bankruptcy, her standard of living went from owning a new home to loosing a new home to living in a run down apt with 2 now considered poverty stricten kids. Truth is, if she had been fair instead of greedy she would of had a comfortable life with the kids, but between the courts and especially the lawyers fair is a word not to be used. The true victims in this are the kids, I do believe she got what was coming to her and he is now a legal criminal, Alot of guys in these situations end up commiting suicide, others go out on a more extreme level and kill the ex and sometimes the kids, alot just end up with criminal records for assualt.The moral of this whole thing is simple, if you put someone in the corner by his throat don't be suprised if he bites back.
Name: HurtInYork New Member
in our particular case, if she was actually awarded that amount of spousal support, she ends up with a slightly better standard of living than she had in the marriage and I end up slightly worse off. And that is adjusting for cost of her raising the child. are there others from Ontario reading this thread that can confirm through actual experience what amounts get awarded for spousal support over and above child support?thanks(she has agreed to try hard to work with me to settle support issues without any fighting, but has not made a proposal yet beyond what the charts say for child support)
Name: Tim New Member
Now your learing, but heres another kicker. She can take these numbers to the bank and even using the child support in here favour she can secure a mortgage. I understand the kids need a roof over their heads but when all is said and done, she will expend much more $$ by being a home owner(due to maintance and operation costs) than if she lived in an apt. By living in an apt your money would be better used directly for your kids. End result, the kids get less bang for your buck and she gets to keep a nice new home once the kids grow and leave. Her prize. You as most Cdn men since you now have a much lower income and were probably left with much greater debt than hers, your prize is a life of poverty. Also now that the kids are grown and out of the home, which is now hers free and clear, you will be expected to pick up most of the cost for their continuing education. If it were up to me I think what should be looked at is her past income generated by her, not you, see if she could or could not of affored that house, equalize the mortgage directing part of that equity toward the kids education on your behalf. But unfortunately the word Fair doesn't apply.
Name: fairtreatment Member
Olga:I trust you are not looking for a free ride. The law states that each party is responsible for their own economic self sufficiency. Albeit, today that is not prtacticed in family law. Tomorrow, this will change and those that take advantage will hopefully pay the price.If you want to move on why don't you do so without taking financial advantage and prove that you can truly be self sufficienct.
Name: HurtInYork New Member
Ouch!with one child still at home with the mother, and my income of $50,000 vs. hers at $20,000, that means about $10,000 a year alimony (although that is tax deductible) and another $5,000 in child support (not tax deductible).So her income climbs to $35,000 and mine sinks to $35,000. And because of our no-fault system, I get dragged into a divorce that I do not really want, and am willing to work at avoiding.H.I.Y.
Name: olga New Member
Hi Tim,thanks for the info.As far as your question is concerned,I wished I did not have to leave,but he pushed me little by little to the point that I have to leave in order to "live".I hope it makes sense to you...
Name: Tim New Member
Where I am (Ontario) alimony is roughly calculated at this: his $100000 - your $30000 = $70000 divided by 3 = $23333 divided by 12 months = approx $1944.00 a month. Guidelines may be different where you live. But just out of curiousity if you are leaving him why do you think or feel he owes you anything, you work why not support yourself, after all it is you who is turning your back on your vows as you promised to him before God.
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