You wake up, the sun is shining through the window, the house is quiet, and then it hits you – it’s finally over. The divorce is settled. Now what?
For more months than you dare count, you have been focusing on your divorce and all the paperwork, the changes, the compromises, and the angst that goes along with it. Your divorce has at least, in some way, helped to define who you are. But now that it is over, it’s time to redefine yourself, your goals, the world around you. From the simplest of things to the most complex.
So where do you start? How do you begin to empower yourself to move forward?
Now that you no longer need to work on the divorce, you may have all kinds of extra time on your hands. Do you take that gourmet cooking class? Do you start exploring the dating world? Do you go out and get a new job? Or do you just roll over, cover yourself up, and hold on to the fear of the unknown?
The unknown can be paralyzing – or it can be invigorating. Just because your divorce is final does not automatically mean that you are going to spring forward with new adventures. It all takes time, and empowerment.
So how do you empower yourself after your divorce?
Did you stay in the house? Did you move to a condo? Are you at Mom’s temporarily? Wherever you lay your head at night, take control of at least your most immediate surroundings. Buy new bed linens, paint the hallway that has needed it for so long, or unpack your boxes. Taking control of your surroundings will quickly make you feel like you are indeed in YOUR home.
From the friends at church to your co-workers, are they healthy for you? Do they make you feel good? Do they inspire and support you? Are they honest with you? Surrounding yourself with those who you trust and can rely on – in every way – will eliminate those terrible moments when you feel compromised by someone you trusted. The people we associate with can either bring us up, or down, so choose your friends wisely.
Are you happy? Are you challenged in a good way? Is this what you want to do? If so, what can you set your sights on as your next step at this job? If, after evaluating your current career, you realize this is not where you want to be, then it’s time to consider how and where you might want to move. Changing careers can be a very big step – but one that can be invigorating when you find the right place for yourself.
Get smart. Find manageable ways to secure tomorrow without draining your finances today. Establish a relationship with a CFP (Certified Financial Planner) to help you understand how to manage your finances, maximize tax-deductible retirement account investments, and learn how to take advantage of income tax deductions available to you.
Empowerment may not happen overnight, but by taking control of some simple aspects of your life and building a new team of friends and advisors, you will pave the way to feeling truly in charge of your new destiny. You will pave the way to redefining who you are.