Is It Wise to Save Money and Vacation Together?

Can two parents vacation together after a separation? Yes, but you can only do this if you and your former spouse get along really well and have learned to respect each other’s boundaries and different parenting styles. This arrangement is not one to be taken lightly. For many separated couples, there may be some “feelings” still lingering, as well as some existing resentment from the former union. If there are any of these issues in the picture, it is best to plan stay away from joint vocations.

There are however, some benefits to vacationing together. It can save money, make the kids happy and give you another adult to visit with. However, even if you and your former spouse do have mutual respect for each other this is not a decision to make lightly. Couples parent differently and when they are living apart, their parenting ethics are even more apparent. Therefore, in order to make this work you would need to set out the following in advance:

• Money issues – who pays for what? Negotiate a fair plan for all finances related to the trip well in advance of making any reservations.
  
• Clarity for the children —  it needs to be discussed with the children prior to the vacation that the parents are not getting back together. Children will read into things, so parents must be firm that they remain good friends — nothing more.
  
• Boundaries in regards to expectations of the vacation. Make sure there is no room for assumptions. Every detail of the trip should be planned and agreed upon before leaving.
  
• Roles of each parent – Who will do what and when. Who will do the dishes, cook meals, etc. This should be decided, in detail, in advance of the vacation to avoid conflict and perhaps falling into old unwanted patterns.
  
• Perhaps provide some separate parenting time within the holiday. This will give each parent a chance to enjoy some alone time with their children.
  
• Sleeping arrangements need to be set it stone – remember that children will always want their parents back together, even if at one time you fought like cats and dogs.

Parents vacationing together after a separation can be a mutually beneficial arrangement if your relationship is in the right place and if you follow the guidelines above. Remember, a vacation needs to be fun and relaxing for all parties involved, so ensure you are in the right place emotionally (you are over him/her) before making the commitment to share a vacation with your former spouse.

Karen Stewart, BSc., M.B.A., RHU, CDFA, R.F.M., is the President, CEO and founder of Fairway Divorce Solutions, a leading alternative divorce solutions firm. As an entrepreneur, leading divorce expert and proud single mother of three, Karen’ book, Clean Break: How to Divorce with Dignity and Move on with Your Life is a first-hand glimpse into the traditional system of divorce, it’s pitfalls and empowering alternatives, and is available at major book retailers across Canada.