To some men, divorce is a sweet release they have been waiting for. For the vast majority, however, it’s a devastating blow that hurts life in a profound way. Of course, a divorce is no laughing matter, and the consequences for men post-divorce should be taken very seriously, even by those who think they are ‘finally free.’
Navigating the muddy waters of divorce is a daunting task that can lead to a serious long-lasting crisis. That’s why so many men often live an invisible life of suffering and pain after they separate from their spouses. A quick recovery and positive mindset are the focus of smart men who prefer to avoid living an invisible life. If you want to take a smart approach as well, the tips below are shared specifically to help you achieve that.
If you don’t want to fall into a black hole of post-divorce crisis, make a commitment to changing your life immediately. Start small by taking better care of yourself: body, mind, and soul. First, your body needs to be more active to keep you energized and positive. Second, your mind needs to be cured and cleared of negative and self-destructive thoughts. Third, your soul also requires some relief.
Here are some activities to consider:
-Eat regularly and healthy. This will help to keep your body healthy. -Get a haircut. New life absolutely needs a new haircut. -Shower, shave, and wear a cologne. You’re a new person and you need to be good looking to get back into the game. -Keep your job. A divorce is a devastating thing but it’s not a reason to put your career on hold. Moreover, you need some money!
Keep in touch with friends. You should not be alone at this critical period of your life. The support of your friends is highly valuable and needed right now, so call them and ask to come over.
You and your soon-to-be ex-wife might have some different opinions and views, but engaging in more conflict is totally counter-productive. This emotional banter will not contribute to your moving on but bring more pain or even anger. Michael, a recently divorced essay writer, advises: “remember one thing: it the divorce is decided, you need to end the fight. Avoid conflict, even if it means ignoring everything that your ex-partner says about you.”
Be the bigger person. You’re moving on.
Alcohol and Drugs Are Not the Way to Cope
This is a dumb mistake many men commit after the divorce. They think that drinking and drugs will help to forget their past life and make it easy to cope with the crisis. Well, as tempting as it sounds, it’s one of the worst things men post-divorce could think of at this point.
To cope, you need steady emotions and a clear head. Just think about it: you will need to make a lot of critical decisions in the next months. Do you really want to make them after a hangover? Instead, try the following:
-Exercise such as jogging and bicycling -Spending time with your friends -Travel -Read a special book.
In the heat of the moment, it’s very easy to ignore the consequences and slip. For example, some men write threatening messages and emails, post explicit pictures of their ex-wives on the internet, and disclose their secrets. By airing this in the public sector, they are exposing themselves to a great risk. All that content can be used to sue them because taking revenge is not a good idea in any situation.
So, if you have something you can say about your ex to the world, just forget about it. You have good moments with her, right? Plus, you can create some big problems by doing that. Smart men would think twice here.
Many recently divorced guys out there don’t seek help of a therapist because they don’t want to be labeled weak. Well, the reality is, you should not go through this time alone completely. Of course, you are confident and don’t want to show your emotions to anyone but you need to know your way out.
If depression hits you hard, think about it this way; it is not about crying. but your own insecurities that a new world can expose. So, you need to let go of these insecurities one last time and continue to live your life.
Let’s try this. Every time you feel depressed, think about a memory from your marriage. Yes, it can be hard, but do your best to imagine it. Then, imagine holding this memory in your hand. At that point, you are holding it for the last time. Finally, release it. Throw it away like you would throw a ball.
Even though you did not forget about it, this ritual helps to have a moment to grieve. It won’t come back to hurt you again.
If the method described above does not work, you should seek attention from a therapist. Once again, don’t fear appearing weak! The grief and pain can haunt you for many years, so it’s better to end it now. You want your fulfilling and successful life back, right?
The reason to see a therapist is simple: a divorce is a highly emotional process and someone should be there to help you navigate the range of emotions you will feel. By using professional assistance, you will really analyze the emotional impact on yourself.
Divorce is one of the most stressful life events. Even though many recently divorced men are doing their best to look strong and determined, they struggle. Let’s be honest here: men are not machines, they have emotions and feelings that need to be addressed.
Use the smart approach described above to avoid sinking into a pit of despair and destructive behavior. You’re about to start a new chapter of your life – do it properly.