4 Ways to Tell if You Should Marry the One You're With

By: Nicole Gussick
Last Update: November 01, 2016

There’s no magic formula to figure out if you should take the leap or not. But, there are ways to tell if you’re in a healthy relationship and if marriage will improve your lives. Here are a few things to consider when thinking of marrying the one you’re with.

1. How They Make You Feel

Can you be yourself around them? Are you unafraid because they make you feel confident about the future? Do you feel you have to hide anything from them for fear of judgment or rejection? This could be as significant as a past regret or as insignificant of not shaving your legs.

Do you feel comfortable enough to have separate and together time? Having separate interests helps you both maintain healthy independent identities and it makes your relationship more interesting. If you’re in the right relationship, you’ll feel secure even when apart.

2. How They Treat You

Does the person you’re with frequently tell you what to do or how to be? This person may be insecure, trying to control you to feel he or she has the upper hand in the relationship. Therefore, they feel superior and can avoid dealing with their own insecurities.

Notice if you feel your partner is including you in his or her life. Are you included in their social plans? It’s important to share your lives, which includes hanging out with each other’s friends and family. If it seems your social lives are completely separate, take a moment to analyze why this might be. Does it leave you with an iffy feeling? Then this person may not be marriage material.

Does your partner allude to your future together without prompting? If so, this is a good sign. On the other hand, if he or she moves too fast, such as proposing within the first year, take a step back and analyze why they might be rushing. If they won’t discuss a future together at all, or is evasive when you bring it up, he or she is probably not thinking about a future together and it may be time to move on.

3. How You Both Change

Sometimes you change for the better and sometimes for the worse when around someone else. Obviously, you want to change each other for the better. Do you find that either of you become possessive, jealous or distrusting, or constantly stressed out? Do you feel like you’re the crazy one? Well, you’re most likely not. Your partner probably just isn’t the one for you

Do you strive to be better, want to achieve more? Do you make each other kinder, happier people? This is healthy, and you will only improve each other’s lives by staying together.

4. Tip: Pay Attention to How You Both Show You Care

Look for discrepancies between what is said and what is communicated. Does your partner say how they feel or show how they feel, or both? If you’re looking for only one way to be shown affection, you might miss the other ways he or she is showing you. Figure out how you show your love. Do you do things for him, give gifts, or say it? Discuss the ways you each communicate to ensure you’re appreciating all you do for each other.

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