You went through divorce and perhaps are ready to move on and get back on the dating scene. You feel somewhat lost, and it’s understandable. Things have changed since the last time you’ve been doing this. You are at a different age, and your potential partners are a different age than when you dated last time. It’s a whole different world out there for you. Moreover, your divorce may have left you with a somewhat compromised self-esteem.
In my last blog, "Want to Find Love After Divorce? Avoid These 3 Types of Men", I wrote about three types of men that you should avoid if you are looking for commitment and love. But, how will you know if you should give someone a chance? You may come across men that don’t attract you right away, and if you don’t give them a chance, you may lose an opportunity to get to know them better. When you allow yourself more time with your selection process, you may be able to make wiser choices in men that will be right for you. Check out these four types of men that may be worthy of giving them some time to warm up to, if you are looking for a long-term relationship or commitment.
A guy that doesn’t strike a strong spark right away and doesn’t’ make us nervous on the first date may be a guy worthy of giving a chance to show you that he may actually be the right one. When you dated as a young girl prior to getting married, the attraction most likely grew very quickly. He was able to make you nervous and think about him all day after the first date. At that age you did not get a chance to consider if he is right for you. You most likely overlooked the red flags just because you “loved him.”
Things are different for you now. You went through a lot, and your feelings are not so easy to stir up. This is good. You are more selective and careful. Thus, if you find a guy who didn’t make you weak in the knees right away, but you are not tuned off by him, give him a chance. Let him show you what he’s got. Go on a few dates with him. See how it goes. You will be able to examine more accurately what kind of partner he may be for you.
A shy guy who doesn’t necessarily have dating skills may be another one that may not sweep you off your feet right away. However, he may be amazing when it comes to close relationships. This guy may not be the life of the party, but he may be a great observer, listener, and you may be surprised how much he gets you if you give him a chance. He may be really good when it comes to one-on-one relationships, especially once he feels safe and comfortable with you.
If you are looking for a deep relationship built on affection, understanding, friendship, and connection, an introvert or a shy guy may be a good match for you. Moreover, if you are an extrovert, he will be relieved when you take the spotlight so that he can stay in the background.
What about the man who takes his time in terms of moving the relationship with you forward? You may wonder if he is into you at all, and that’s an important question to consider. But, on the other hand, he may want to ensure that you two are right for each other before he commits. He may be cautious about getting married or committing because of his previous dating history or if there was a lot of conflict or divorce in his family when he was child.
If he is not simply commitment phobic, he may be a man who is authentic and in touch with his feelings. And, this is definitely a positive sign in terms of building a lasting relationship. Of course, in this case you need to be in touch with your boundaries and know what you expect in terms of how fast the relationship should move along. The question to ask is, “Is he dedicated to me, but needs a little more time to feel sure, or is he not committing completely because he is still shopping around?” In any case, giving some extra time for the relationship to develop may be good for you too. This will help you be sure too.
When a man has a good relationship and boundaries with his family, especially mother, grandmother, or sister, it is a sign that he may understand and appreciate women. This means that he may be able to develop a good relationship with you. Of course, you heard horror stories about “momma’s boys,” whose possessive mothers mingle in the relationship and compete with you. This is not what we are talking about here.
I’m rather talking about a man who appreciates his relationship with his family. If he treats his family well, there is a great chance that he will treat you well too.
Any other types you can think of? Let me know in the comment below. I would love to know what your experience is.