It can be a shock to go from having a companion to being on one’ s own. When a divorce was unexpected and unwanted, it is especially unsettling going out into the world alone and conquering loneliness post-divorce. Jumping into a new relationship to ward off loneliness has backfired for some.These individuals brought emotional baggage into the relationship before working through their feelings.
If you are dating to avoid being alone in your house, then consider getting a pet. Adopting an animal is therapeutic and lowers anxiety. The furry friend makes a great confidant for the children. Adjust your routine so that you are not following the same pattern that you did when married. This helps to alleviate the void in your life.
Instead of going to the cinema at night, as you did with your partner, join the other solos at a matinee. If you miss your cappuccino, then go to a coffee house with a community table. One can socialize or read a newspaper, but still be among others. Cafes are following this trend of making it friendlier for single diners, with the option of eating at a large table. It is nice having the opportunity to strike up a conversation with other patrons.This is the time to join others in activities.
Guys I know participate in sports through the community or with buddies from work. They regularly play racquetball, baseball or rugby with co-workers post break-up. Several have become involved with the charity sponsored by their company. These individuals met employees from different departments as well as new faces from the non-profit organization.
Evenings and weekends can be challenging to get through when newly single. See if you can change your work schedule to coincide with your lonelier hours. I started an exercise class two evening a week after my divorce. Some divorced folks choose to work on holidays to avoid being alone. Job sites often have a potluck or some type of celebration on these days.
The biggest part of loneliness post-divorce was losing mutual friends or not knowing how to go about making new ones. What helped me was joining MeetUp.com which is world-wide. We go out to movies, lunch and other venues. Twice a month our travel bookstore/café hosts travel talks; these are interesting and gives me a chance to connect with other travel enthusiasts. A divorced friend enjoys her dining club and met a nice fellow. Several others are in book clubs. Reach out to people that you already know as there may be informal social activities on the job, such as Happy Hour or lunches.
Talk to neighbors more in depth rather than a quick hello. One women on my street is now a good friend. Reconnect with your college roommate or childhood friend. I had coffee with a few moms after we dropped off our kids at school. They were what got me through my divorce and later empty nest. We still get together regularly.
Divorced people have found friends through their church’s single gatherings. Spend more time with family members, especially your nieces and nephews. I have met divorced people when traveling, they were seeing the world with a sibling. This is a good time to knock destinations off your bucket list. There will be times when loneliness creeps in. I have a stack of British and Scandinavian mystery books which I read if this occurs.
Advice shared by newly single people is to keep busy. Just get out even if only to do errands. Moping at home will compound one’s loneliness post-divorce. Consider volunteering which connects you to others. Feeling isolated can bring on feeling lonely. It takes time to build a new life and meet new people, but it will happen.