What can I do to better endure the process of divorce? - Part 2

By Dr. Lami
September 10, 2013
CA FAQ/Emotional Issues

"Remember: your past is not your future, but your present will be, so make sure it is a good one by making a decision to start feeling good NOW! - Part 2"

You can use various techniques to raise your vibration (emotions and thoughts). Decisions that are made when we are in a positive state of mind tend to benefit us in the long run. Make every effort to create a positive state of mind in whichever way feels good for you.

It could be spending time with your children, your family or friends. Every morning when you wake up write a list of positive aspects, and meditate as much as you can. Research shows that meditation is one of the best ways to develop a healthy well-being - mentally, emotionally and physically. If you cannot meditate, spend time in nature, exercise, travel, do anything in your power to develop a positive attitude during this time. it may seem difficult at the beginning but I encourage you to push yourself at first and a habit will be formed!

Start learning to like yourself. Make it a habit to look in the mirror in the morning and compliment yourself on one thing that you like about your appearance. Make sure to compliment your kids as well on a daily basis. Pay attention to the way you dress up and look. Make sure to look and be your best (even if you have to force yourself to do so). It will have a positive effect on your mood.

Develop daily affirmation:
Every day make a list of 4-5 positive affirmation about the future you want to have, examples: "My situation is temporary and it shall come to pass soon," "I feel better and better with every passing day," "A new relationship is always available for me should I choose to have one," "I am ready for a new, better and loving relationship soon," etc. Write down whatever feels comfortable for you, and keep stating it a few times throughout the day.

Do not dwell on the past and the current pain, constantly distract your mind and be out there
Focus on committing to doing things that make you feel good and it will increase your well-being. You have to get involved in new activities that you like doing. When your mind is distracted it helps you move away from thinking about what you have been going through. You can do something that involves helping others. Research shows that a good way to distract us from our own pain, and get out of difficult times is through helping others.

Empower your strength: No matter what others suggest you do, it is you who has to go through the whole divorce. Recognize your strengths and be empowered by them.

Good luck!


Dr. Lami is an internationally renowned psychologist with over 18 years of experience helping her clients effectively deal with challenges associated with the process of divorce. Her services include Psychotherapy, Coaching, Evaluation (including Affluenza), Expert witness, Speaking and Consulting. She regularly writes on relationships and has been featured in the media. Visit the firm's website at drlami.com or universalinsights.net.

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September 10, 2013
Categories:  FAQs

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