A divorce is a very difficult period of a person’s life, and there are often a lot of differences between the two former partners, disagreeing over almost everything that is discussed. By the end of the divorce process, most former lovers would like to never have to deal with their ex partner ever again, however if you’ve have children together, this isn’t at all possible. You're going to have to co-parent for their sake.
As parents, you move out of your marriage to each other and into a different, more child focused role of being co-parents in partnership. Every parent is sure to want the best for their children, and so putting issues to the side for the sake of your children is the very best thing to do.
However, with all of the problems and negativity that your relationship has endured before the end of your marriage and right through the divorce process, an amicable relationship as parents is often difficult to achieve. Remarkably, many parents are able to do exactly what is needed of them by their parents, although it isn’t without its struggles.
Successful co-parenting is very important to the future of your children, as the more stable and supported their life can be, really can lead to a better and brighter future for them.
Remain in Constant Communication – Although your marriage has come to an end and there is no longer a need to discuss personal matters with each other, your parental partnership hasn’t and never will come to an end. Although there might still be some bad blood between the two of you, it is essential that you remain in constant communication with each other, discussing your child’s behavior, your child’s welfare and anything else that may need to be discussed. You should always continue to keep the best interests of your children in mind at all times, and this means that you should never purposely keep things from them.
Display a United Front – You should always look to make important decisions together, as this helps to keep you both in the loop and helps you to reach the best decisions for your children. As well as this, if you can attend events, such as parent’s evenings, school plays or football matches together; your children and those who matter can be reassured that you are maintaining a relationship that will benefit everybody involved.
Organize Fair Allocations of Time with the Children – Both parents are sure to want to spend as much time with their children as possible, however the allocation of time spent with the children must be a fair one. Time for holidays, birthdays, Mother’s Days, Father’s Days and other special occasions should always be organised well in advance of the day.
Set Clear Rules that you both Enforce – It is often the case that one parent is a little relaxed with the rules and don’t always enforce them as they should, which can sometimes cause issues between the children and the other parent. Children often wonder, if one parent can be so relaxed why can’t the other? To ensure that you keep everything as normal and as secure for your children as possible, you should create a set of rules between the two of you, and both stick to them.
Reassure your Children whenever Possible – A divorce is very hurtful to any couple that has to go through one, but they aren’t the only ones that feel the effects. Your children’s whole world is rocked by a divorce, and everything that they know is turned completely on its head. You and your former partner should work together to reassure your children, and ensure that they know that the splitting of their parents wasn’t their fault in any shape or form.
Kerry Smith is the Head of Family Law at K J Smith Solicitors, a specialist family law firm that deals with a wide range of issues, including divorce, domestic violence, civil partnerships, and prenuptial agreements. Kerry has over 15 years experience in family law and is recommended by the Legal 500 guide to law firms in the UK.Back To Top
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