Is mediation for couples who want to reconcile?

Using mediation as a way to reconcile with your spouse is unwise, as simply attending marital therapy could accomplish the same goal for less.

By Sandra M Rosenbloom
June 23, 2006
IL FAQ/Mediation Issues

Most people seeking divorce mediation are not seeking to reconcile. While some find the road to reconciliation through the open communication of  divorce mediation, most couples contemplating mediation are seeking resolution, not reconciliation.

Divorce mediation provides the chance to privately resolve problems without destroying the family network and structure in the process. The mediator acts as a facilitator to help couples create their own solutions; the mediator is not a counselor giving advice.

Mediating the issues gives the couple the opportunity to work out their problems without escalating them, creating their own solutions without diverting precious and limited family resources to fund expensive, and often destructive, litigation. Mediation helps conserve and preserve family financial resources for the new futures they and their children will face once they reach resolution.

Couples in mediation may sometimes have heated, angry discussions. However, mediation provides couples with a safe environment to discuss important family problems and to hear what each has to say, not hear just what each one thinks the other one is saying. The divorce mediator helps the participating couples stay on track, not go off in all directions.

Divorce mediation is a process, not a goal. People who choose this form of dispute resolution are willing to explore every option available to solve their own problems before they submit them to judges who do not know or understand them or their children. The reality of  divorce mediation is that only one thing about it is certain -- the the results are up to the participants.


Sandra M Rosenbloom concentrates on Mediation and Collaborative Family Law at her Northfield, IL office.

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June 23, 2006
Categories:  Legal Issues|FAQs

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