New Jokes about Marriage

Sometimes in the middle of divorce, you just need a laugh. Check out this page for more jokes about marriage!

By Divorce Magazine
Updated: August 19, 2014
Humor

Husband: "What are you doing?"
Wife: "Nothing."
Husband: "Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Wife: "I was looking for the expiry date."

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Wife: "Do you want dinner?"
Husband: "Sure. What are my choices?"
Wife: "Yes or no."

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Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself, 'what problem could be greater than this one?'"

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Boy: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries and troubles and lighten your burden."
Girl: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Boy: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet."

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Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you did the right thing."
Son: "But Mom, I was sitting on Daddy's lap."

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A newly married woman asked her husband, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the man replied sweetly, "I'd have married you no matter who left you a fortune."

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A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor."


For more humor during this difficult moment, visit http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/Humor/.

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By Divorce Magazine| March 18, 2008
Categories:  Coping with Divorce

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