Love Notes - Archives

Dr. Patricia Love's Love Notes Archives is a compilation of various FAQs on divorce, marriage and relationships. See Dr. Love's advice on some of the most intimate and important concerns.

By Divorce Magazine
Updated: March 06, 2015

Archive FAQs

January 2008:

  • My husband's libido has always been so much lower than mine. We haven't had sex for many months now. He won't talk about it or even touch me. I'm seriously thinking about divorce. Any advice?...
  • What's the current research on the effect of divorce on children? We're not feuding with one another, but there's really nothing left to our marriage and I would like to ask my wife for a divorce....
  • My wife's affair led to the breakup of our marriage. We're divorced, but she says she wants to give things another try. What should I do?...

July 2007:

  • I've been separated for six months. I have no desire to date or have a relationship again. I have friends who were dating very soon after they were separated. Is there something wrong with me?...
  • I've noticed since my own marital separation and divorce that very few couples seem to be happy these days. The issues between the men and women seem consistent. What's going on?...
  • I've been divorced for several years and have recently begun dating. I have a teenage daughter and I don't know how to approach her about the intimacy issues. Can you help?...

November 2006:

  • I'm dating a single mom with a five-year-old daughter. Her ex is supposed to have his daughter on Wednesday nights and every other weekend, but he almost never shows up. So it's hard for my girlfriend and me to have time alone together. Her daughter discovered us in bed together last Saturday morning, and she was very upset. How can we explain what we were doing, and that I'll be staying over regularly from now on?
  • My jealousy wrecked my marriage, and I want to keep it from ruining my current relationship. But I can't seem to help myself: it drives me crazy when I see my boyfriend talking to another woman. I've tried swallowing it, but it always comes up later. How do I overcome it?
  • I'm a 40-year-old man who's going through a divorce. I know that splitting up was the right choice, but I'm starting to feel like I will be alone forever -- and this is not a good feeling. How do I find love again?

August 2006

  • During our seven-year marriage, our sex life was never great. My doctor says there's nothing physically wrong with me, but I want to be sure this problem doesn't re-occur with my new girlfriend....
  • About five weeks ago, I met two extraordinary men within three days. I didn't think it would be possible to have strong feelings for more than one man at a time. How do I decide which is right?...
  • Everyone says I'm really nice; when I take a woman on a date, I treat her like a princess. After all that, most of the women say they want to be "just friends." It seems like nice guys finish last...
  • I started an affair with someone from my diving club, and I can't imagine life without her. Is it possible to really love two people in different ways -- and keep both relationships happy and healthy?...
  • Last weekend, we had sex for the first time, and it was a disaster. He seemed embarrassed, and I haven't heard from him since. Should I take this as a sign that things would never work?...

June 2006

  • I started dating someone I had known through work. I knew she wasn't Ms. Right, but she's in love with me. I'm wondering whether I should just refuse to see her again. What do you think?...
  • My husband told me he didn't love me anymore and wanted a divorce. This was out of the blue. I want to fight for our marriage, but he has refused to go to counseling. What should I do?...
  • I still have feelings for my ex and believe I have grown enormously since our separation. Do you think that there is any chance that we might reestablish a relationship, or am I deluding myself?...
  • My wife is too attached to her parents, and it's interfering with our relationship. We live three doors away from them, and she spends more time with them than with me. Is there any hope for us?...

March 2006

  • My ex-husband and I keep running into each other. We have sex whenever we meet up. I discovered that he is engaged, but he still wants to continue our relationship. What do you think?...
  • How do you know if you're really in love, and if that love is likely to last? Are there signs to look for, or some way to know if it's "for real"?...
  • I'm successful and self-confident at work. However, I become a bit of a doormat in my personal life. Why am I so different at work and at home? Am I just choosing the wrong type of men?...
  • I've met a great woman. So far, I haven't introduced her to my kids. The fact that she has never lived with anyone, or had to share her space, worries me. Do you think a relationship could work?...

January 2006

  • My boyfriend started dropping hints about a threesome with his friend. Part of me is curious, and part is terrified. I don't know whether I'm being a prude, or if this is as weird as I think it is...
  • I'm a 40-year-old who's going through divorce. I know splitting up was the right choice, but I'm starting to feel like I will be alone forever -- and this is not a good feeling. How do I find love again?...
  • Since my boyfriend and I started living together, he seems different: inconsiderate, lazy, ungrateful, and not a bit interested in my happiness. Should I try to work things out, or toss him out?...
  • I started dating someone a couple of months ago. She has refused to take our physical relationship much beyond kissing. How long should I wait? How can I help her get over this fear?...

November 2005

  • I've met a younger man. He has always dreamed of being a father. I'm past the age of wanting kids. He just wants to be with me, but that means giving up his dream. Is this relationship doomed?...
  • My jealousy wrecked my marriage, and I want to keep it from ruining my current relationship. But it drives me crazy when my boyfriend talks to another woman. How do I overcome it?...
  • My wife is very good to me, but sex with her has never been great. I started an affair, and the sex is absolutely amazing. Should I move the relationship out of the bedroom or stick with my wife?...
  • My wife had an affair with my best friend. As if this weren't enough, she's pregnant, and either of us could be the father. How can I get over their betrayal if it's literally in my face every day?...

August 2005

  • I'm in love with a man who has been separated for three years now. He and his ex talk almost every day. I understand that a friendly relationship is good for the kids, but I think it's too friendly...
  • My fiancee and her daughter have moved in with me and my two kids. We got along so well before, but now we fight like cats and dogs about everything. Is this normal in a blended family?...
  • My fiance's brother "Steve" has always been flirty with me, but recently, it has gotten more serious. Should I confront Steve, or tell my fiance, or just try to avoid being alone with him?...

June 2005

  • My husband of 10 years told me he has fallen out of love. I am shocked and devastated. We do everything together, and he seemed happy. How can someone love you one minute and not the next?...
  • About a year after my divorce, I met "Fred". He was very attentive to me, which I really appreciated. We slept together, and now he says he's in love with me. I don't feel that way about him...
  • My ex still calls me regularly. We have kids, so she usually starts off talking about them, but she always moves on to how much she wants to get back together. How do I get my ex to let go?...
  • One of the reasons my marriage broke up was that we only had sex twice a month; I would have preferred every day, and my ex-wife about once a month. Is there any way to resolve this problem?...

March 2005

  • I found out that my boyfriend slept with his ex-wife last Christmas while I was away. He says that he'll never sleep with her again. Is it possible for me to get over this and start to trust him again?...
  • My boyfriend gets very carried away during sex. I have asked him to be more gentle, but he always ends up biting me a little too hard. I want him to enjoy sex with me, but I want to enjoy it too...
  • I need to sleep with a woman before I decide whether to commit to her. I feel like a schmuck when I have to tell a woman I don't want to pursue a relationship with her after we've had sex...

January 2005

  • My girlfriend shows no interest whatsoever in my kids. Do you think there's any future for this relationship?...
  • My ex-husband and I have decided to stay in the family house with our kids until the youngest is 10 -- which means another two years. Are we doing the right thing, or should we make a clean break now?...
  • My fiancee's daughter competes with her mother for my attention. I'm not sure she understands what she's doing, and I don't know how to talk to her about it. What should I do?...

November 2004

  • I'm currently dating two different men. The sex is awesome with "Bill," but we don't have much in common. I might love Frank, and I'm wondering whether it's possible that lust will come later?...
  • I've been dating a wonderful woman for a few months. But the thought of being naked in front of her scares me to death, and I'm worried I won't be able to perform. How can I get over this?...
  • I've been dating "Peter"; the sex is fantastic, but as soon as it's over, he leaps out of bed like being shot out of a cannon. Is this relationship doomed to follow the same pattern as my marriage?...
  • I've been friends with a guy, and our relationship turned romantic. He can only orgasm if I'm talking to him, but I can only when I'm not. Can you suggest a compromise so we can enjoy ourselves?...

June 2004

  • I'm dating a single mom. Her five-year-old daughter discovered us in bed together. How can we explain what we were doing, and that I'll be staying over regularly from now on?...

January 2004

  • I'm back into the dating world and wondering how many dates you have to go on with someone before it's appropriate to have sex. Are there any rules to follow here?...
  • I've been seeing my boyfriend for a couple of months now, and things were going really well until we tried to have sex last week. I feel as awkward as a teenager about this. Can you help?...
  • My husband and I have been separated, and he wants to reconcile. I love him, but I lost interest in him sexually when he walked out on me. Is there any way of getting the passion back?...

November 2003

  • Is it possible to keep the romance in a relationship alive after the first few months? If so, how do you go about it?...
  • My wife suggested a menage-a-trois with a mutual female friend. I was thrilled. Problem is, she seems to enjoy sex with this other woman more than she ever has with me...
  • My husband is a good provider, and I'm sure he's faithful to me, but there's no spark in our marriage. I feel lonely and unappreciated. What should I do?...
  • I started an affair a couple of months ago with someone from my SCUBA diving club. Is it possible to really love two people in totally different ways?...

June 2003

  • I've been out of the dating game for 20 years, and I don't know what the rules are any more. Is it OK to sleep with someone on the first or second date?...
  • My new boyfriend is always asking me what I want in bed. Sex with my ex was mediocre, so I don't really know. How do I figure out what I want without exposing my ignorance?...
  • During my marriage, I had a flirtatious relationship with one of our friends. Now that I'm separated, I would really like to see where a relationship with her could go...

January 2003:

  • I met my new girlfriend through an Internet dating service, and we started to sleep together a couple of months ago. I have noticed that her ad is still posted...
  • I recently started an affair, and I'm surprised to find I'm getting along better with my husband these days. Is it possible that an affair could actually improve my marriage?...
  • Now that I'm single again, I'd like to experience a variety of lovers. I'm pretty clear on the benefits, but I'm wondering if there could be any pitfalls to taking multiple lovers...
  • I recently discovered that my partner has cheated on me several times. I'm wondering if it's possible to re-establish trust, and if so, how?...
  • During my first marriage, our sex life went from great to nothing. Now I'm engaged to a wonderful man, and I'm wondering how we can keep the passion alive...

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By Divorce Magazine| June 15, 2006
Categories:  General

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Reason for your Divorce

Why did your relationship end? If there's more than one reason, choose the strongest factor.

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Physical/Emotional Infidelity
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