I'm uncomfortable with the thought of dating again after divorce.

I'm uncomfortable with the thought of dating again after divorce. Yet, I get lonely. My divorce was finalized six months ago. How do I know if I'm really ready to put myself back out there?

By Kimberly Pryor
April 10, 2013
NV FAQs/Coping with Divorce

Relationship expert, author, and divorce blogger Kimberly Pryor answers: This is an important question to ask. Because if you're not ready to get involved with a new person you risk getting into a rebound relationship. A rebound relationship happens when you get involved with someone too quickly after your divorce. You use the relationship as a way to avoid your post-divorce pain.

To avoid getting involved in a rebound relationship, ask yourself if you've taken the time to think about what you can do differently in your next relationship. It's important to do this objectively, without blaming yourself for what went wrong in your marriage.

Think about why your marriage fell apart. Were the two of you not compatible to begin with but you were blinded by physical attraction? This time around, would it be better to choose a partner based on mutual values rather than instant attraction? There are many reasons why marriages fail, but make sure you know why yours did before starting a new relationship.

Even if the reason why your marriage fell apart was because your ex cheated on you, it's important for you to get yourself to a place where you realize you deserve a faithful partner. And not gravitate toward the same type of person as before.

If you still need to do some soul searching before dating again, take the time to care for yourself. Pursue hobbies you enjoy. Get your hands on books and DVDs that can inspire you on your journey to get to know yourself better and recover from your divorce.

Finally, don't hide yourself away in a protective cocoon forever. The thought of dating again can be so uncomfortable for some people that there's the risk of letting your fear keep you from even trying to meet members of the opposite sex. So when the time is right, get back out there!

Kimberly Pryor is a journalist and the author of The Indestructible Relationship, which won the EPIC eBook Award for best nonfiction of 2012. Visit her blog at www.afterdivorceadvice.com.

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April 10, 2013
Categories:  FAQs

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