I’m afraid I’m going to lose custody of my children to my wife. What can I do?

Learn more about how child custody is handled in the state of New York, and what your being the father has to do with your chances.

By Steven Mandel
January 04, 2007

NY FAQ/Asset/Child Custody

Too many times I've seen fathers try to prove that the woman was a "bad mother". Experience has shown that these cases do not turn on who is "good" or "bad." They are decided by proving what is in the best interest of the children. The courts have recognized that fathers have the exact same rights as mothers (whether or not they were married to the mother) when it comes to obtaining custody. However, to be successful, a parent must demonstrate that their commitment, as well as their proposed plan to care for, nurture and raise the children, is superior to that of the other. But custody doesn't have to be all or nothing. It is important to note that there are two types of custody. The first is physical custody that defines where the children reside. The second is legal custody, which involves making decisions regarding the children’s health, education, and general welfare.

It is sometimes possible for there to be joint physical custody, where the children reside equally in the respective homes of their mother and father, joint legal custody, where the parents agree to mutually make future decisions concerning the children, or any combination of the above. However, when these options are not advisable, or practical, one parent will often be given sole physical and legal custody. If you noticed, I said one “parent”, not automatically the mother. Fathers can be, and often are, given custody of even very young children. Throughout this difficult time, you must realize that it is not about you, it is not about your wife, it is simply about what is best for your children and the quality of your relationship with them. You can be successful, and you will be successful if you can convince the judge that it would be in your children’s best interest for you to be their custodial parent.

Steven Mandel is a Manhattan divorce attorney and principal of the Law Firm of Steven J. Mandel.





Back To Top

January 04, 2007
Categories:  FAQs

Add A Comment


Allowed HTML: <b>, <i>, <u>, <a>



Divorce Lawyers

Certified Divorce Financial Analyst

Find all CDFAs

Divorce Mediators

Find Divorce Mediators

Business Valuators / CPAs

Find Business Valuators / CPAs

Collaborative Practice

Find Collaborative Practitioners

Reason for your Divorce

Why did your relationship end? If there's more than one reason, choose the strongest factor.

Money Problems/Arguments
Physical/Emotional Infidelity
Physical/Mental Illness
Physical/Emotional Abuse
Alcoholism/Addiction Issues
Basic Incompatibility

Copyright © 2017 Divorce Magazine, Divorce Marketing Group & Segue Esprit Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without prior written permission is prohibited.