If you are thinking about or going through divorce... Part 2

By Dr. Lami
September 10, 2013
CA FAQ/Emotional Issues

Continued from Part 1

Remember that adjusting to any kind of change takes time. The therapist can help you learn how to enter this new phase in your life with minimal struggle.

Here are examples of real cases:

Case Example 1

Sharona and Ben, in their late 20's and early 30's, childless, came to a split in their marriage. The wife demanded a divorce, the husband wanted to work it out. They were confused about their marriage, after 2 years, things had started to crumble. They could not stop disagreeing on things and constantly argued. Ben wanted to save the marriage; Sharona was not sure. After 4-5 sessions, it had become clear to everyone that they had married for the wrong reasons, and that their needs, expectations, love language, values, desires and life perceptions were totally different. They did not have enough substance or commitment to each other to carry the marriage through. In their therapy sessions, they had learn to talk about their relationship openly in a way that helped them both grow, and prepare for separation. After the separation took place, Ben desired to receive more help in dealing with his hurt, pain, disappointment and grief, so he would be able to leave his marriage behind and move forward with his life.

Case Example 2

Chris and Carole entered therapy after 5 years of marriage. Chris has a grown up daughter, and a toddler with his current wife, Carole. They have agreed that getting a divorce would be the best solution to their unhappy marriage. They were both devout Christians and getting divorced was not in alignment with their spiritual beliefs. They felt confused and in a limbo. Their attorney suggested that seeking therapy would be something for them to consider before they decide on a divorce.

During the course of their therapy we examined their relationship and identified the specific elements that made both of them unhappy in the marriage. When they had learned about the causes of their unhappy marriage, the possibility of saving it opened up for them. After exploring what it entails, they made a commitment to work on rebuilding their relationship before separating. As we had progressed with therapy they had started to move toward a happier connection and managed to save their marriage.

It is crucial for parents and children to get the necessary help for all of the issues they face, to ensure a smoother transition in moving forward in a healthy and constructive manner.

Dr. Lami is an internationally renowned psychologist with over 18 years of experience helping her clients effectively deal with challenges associated with the process of divorce. Her services include Psychotherapy, Coaching, Evaluation (including Affluenza), Expert witness, Speaking and Consulting. She regularly writes on relationships and has been featured in the media. Visit the firm's website at drlami.com or universalinsights.net.

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September 10, 2013
Categories:  FAQs

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