How to manage your emotions during your divorce

A family lawyer interviews a therapist about how divorcing people can manage their emotions, channelling their sadness and anger into something productive.

By Michael Craven and Cassandra Friedman
Updated: May 22, 2015
Divorce Therapy

Michael Craven, a Chicago family lawyer, interviewed Dr. Cassandra Friedman, a therapist who helps those going through the trauma of divorce, about emotional issues of divorce. Dr. Friedman's main focus is to help people going through divorce channel their sadness and anger into something productive, and keep their families as intact as possible.

Below, she answers some questions that are important for people going through divorce to know.

Q. How do you help your clients stay focused during a divorce and not let the anger control them?

A. I always recommend a continuous release of anger via appropriate outlets. I usually give suggestions on where to liberate their anger such as: journaling, individual psychotherapy, divorce support groups, physical exercise, working on a hobby or cause dear to their heart and associating with friends and family that contribute positive energy and support. 

You will be surprised how just letting feelings out rather than letting them build up will greatly help you stay focused. Additionally, it’s great when someone finds something that brings them joy that they didn’t know about before, such as gardening or yoga.

Q. What are some things to keep your spirits up during a divorce?

A. Number one on my list is to surround yourself with positive people. Divorce takes a lot of mental and physical energy. Toxic, negative people will drain your much needed energy. Get involved with something passionate, (a prior/new hobby). Find your spiritual side, (church/temple). As much as possible, Think Positively and remember, “This too shall pass.”

Q. What kinds of resources are there for people going through divorce?

A. There is so much out there today. The most frequently used are: Internet to gather information and feel part of a community, support groups, and individual psychotherapy. These are great resources which will allow people going through divorce to get the best and latest information, find the best available help, and find help specific to the area in which they live. It is very important to understand that these resources speed up the grieving and healing process and allow you to get back to life.

Dr. Cassandra Friedman, Ph.D., LCPC, CADC brings 30 years of experience in speaking, teaching and private practice to amuse, challenge and motivate others to achieve more.

Chicago family lawyer Michael C. Craven represents clients in all areas of family law including divorce, property division, custody, child support, paternity, domestic violence, and the preparation of prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. He draws on his previous experience as a tax attorney to negotiate and litigate complex financial issues in matrimonial cases.

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July 15, 2010
Categories:  Coping with Divorce

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