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Mars and Venus: Advice from John Gray

Mars and Venus: Ask John Gray
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John Gray, author of the best selling book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus has recently launched the Ask Mars Venus Coaching program.

The Power of Love
By John Gray, Ph.D.

The heartbreak of divorce often brings with it a bitterness that can turn life's sweetest moments inside out. Love no longer seems like a trusted friend, but an untrustworthy opponent.

Don't be fooled. Love's strength flows in all directions; true, love has the power to hurt, but more importantly, it also has the power to heal. In other words, the love that broke your heart is also the magic ingredient for making your heart whole again.

Rediscovering love is a study in perseverance. After the emotional blow of a break-up, our expectations for having one special relationship again seem to crumble and disappear. That is why it's important that we aren't afraid to love again; we must allow ourselves to make that transition from fear to faith. To do so, here are four important points to remember:

#1: Love's address is any place that you live. The truth is that love is always there, but you have to be open to hear it, feel it, and believe in its presence. Every morning at dawn, birds sing to greet the new day. It's an exciting affirmation of life, but if you sleep through this early symphony of nature, does that mean it never happened? Of course not! Love is everywhere, from a child's smile to a friend's open-arms. Only you can shut it out, or -- if you choose wisely -- let love back in.

#2: Shutting love out of your life only hurts you. Sometimes, to avoid feeling of the pain of separation, we put ourselves into a type of limbo where we shut out all others -- and any love they might want to share. The feeling is understandable, but know that love will only return when we are willing to allow love back into our life.

#3: You don't have to spend any time looking for love -- just be open to receiving it when it arrives. Many people in many ways close their hearts to the love that's being offered to them, and then say that they can't find a soulmate no matter how much time they spend looking. The truth is that in a quiet and receptive moment, love will come to you -- if you're willing to feel and sense that special quality when it arrives.

#4: The first step to embracing love is setting aside your heartache. You can be more open to love if you move beyond your anger and bitterness about the past. Painful memories from your past don't have to hold you back from what you really deserve: a life of happiness. The sooner you open your heart, the sooner love will find it again.


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