THE DIVORCE WARS INTERNAL WARS AND THE ENEMIES WITHIN
Taking chances with your money may be putting both your material worth and your self worth on the line
By: Stacy D. Phillips
Author and Certified Family Law Specialist

The following is the third segment in a 13-part series based on the book, Divorce: It's All About Control—How to Win the Emotional, Psychological and Legal Wars, by renowned family law specialist and managing partner of Phillips, Lerner, Lauzon & Jamra, LLP in Los Angeles, Calif. This continuing series deals with one of the most destructive wars—the Internal Wars—and the Enemies Within, all of which can be just as devastating as the emotional, psychological and legal wars. As I mentioned in segment one of this series, each of the Internal Wars deals with self-abuse in one way or another. This segment focuses on gambling.

It is not a theory but a known fact that most of those who gamble will eventually lose. If that were not the case, resorts such as Las Vegas, Monte Carlo and Atlantic City would soon be out of business. Bookmakers would have to find another way to make a living, and the people who manufacture poker chips would have to start making potato chips instead! Fighting the Gambling War can be as arduous as fighting any of the other "Way Too Much" Wars because once you dig a deep enough hole, it can take years of payback and rehabilitation to recover. Gambling is a drug of sorts. At first those who engage in it think they will just "try it" yet soon they find themselves deeply addicted. There is the allure of thinking you can get something for nothing.

More information on financial before and after divorce: Divorce Put You Into Debt? Consider Debt Management Avoiding Common Pitfalls Love, money, and the blended family

Those who have gambling addictions are typically fighting other wars simultaneously. For instance, many of those who gamble also drink, or overspend, or eat too much. These types are headed down a dark trail. If you find yourself counted among the troops who are at War with this Enemy, glance over the following. Hopefully you will find some alternate ways to assuage your cravings. If you are in the grip of the Gambling Enemy you may want to recite the following out loud:

• I will never get ahead.
• I work too hard for my money to lose it so easily.
• I will sink deeper into this addiction if I allow it to perpetuate.
• I may find myself hanging out with unsavory types.
• I will set a negative example for my children.
• I may discover it is a behavior I need to hide from others.
• I could blow the same money on other things that are far more rewarding.
• I may lose sleep over my losses.
• I really cannot afford such an expensive habit.
• By gambling I surrender Control to an Enemy Within.

If you are caught up in the "gambling trap" now would be a very good time to make your own list of reasons why you should shed this addiction. By all means do not be chintzy with your reasons as they may be very personal ones and ones that will convince you to walk off this battlefield.

Stacy D. Phillips is a certified family law specialist and author of Divorce: It's All About Control -- How to Win the Emotional, Psychological and Legal Wars (ExecuProv Press, 2005--now in its fifth printing). Phillips represents many celebrities in film, television, music, sports, and politics. She can be contacted at (310) 277-7117 or by email at sdpdissoqueen@plljlaw.com. View her Divorce Magazine profile online.

For more articles about your financial issues before and after divorce, visit www.divorcemag.com/articles/Financial_Planning.