DivorceMag: South Carolina FAQs

Find a divorce lawyer, mediator, accountant, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, therapist and more...
To advertise with us call our toll free number 877-493-1650 or Click Here

Frequently Asked Questions About Divorce

"Does the person who had the affair have to 'come clean' to improve the chances of the relationship working or should they keep the affair to themselves?"

Couples therapist Steven Solomon answers: "Openness, honesty, and the lack of deceit are vital for long-term intimacy and relationship success.

But there are three distinct scenarios to consider when answering this question. The first and most problematic is when there is an ongoing or recently ended infidelity that the betrayed partner does not know about. The only way for the LTLR to heal, the only way for it to become stronger so that infidelity will not reoccur is for the betraying partner to reveal it. This is the only way for the couple to overcome the individual and relationship dysfunction that led to the infidelity.

In addition, when the betrayal was long term in duration and/or included feelings of love, the more important it is that the infidelity be revealed..."

"Is it possible for a couple to truly 'get over' an infidelity?"

Couples therapist Steven Solomon answers: "Not only can they overcome it so that it no longer has a significant negative impact on their relationship, but they can use it to spur them to work on their relationship and, in so doing, make their LTLR stronger and happier than it ever was before.

That isn't to say that the infidelity will ever be forgotten or become insignificant. We tell the couples we work with that even though they can move past it, the infidelity will always be a fact of their lives, just like their wedding date, the birth of their children and health crises. It will be a reference point like the other benchmarks..."

"What do you offer your clients/readers that 'affair-proofs' their relationship?"

Couples therapist Steven Solomon answers: "We teach that there are Three Intimacies: Self Intimacy, Conflict Intimacy and Affection Intimacy. These are the mortar, building blocks and faÁade of any relationship. Every long term loving relationship has each of these.

Self Intimacy is knowing what you feel, think and want and sharing these with your partner. It is being self aware. When we are self aware we acknowledge what is motivating us so that we can make healthier, more mature choices. We use our Emotional Self Awareness (ESA) Exercise as a tool that people can use to strengthen their Self Intimacy.

Conflict Intimacy is the ability to "do conflict well" in a relationship. This is a key tool that many couples lack..."

Advertise on DivorceMag.com

Featured Websites