FAQs Written By Professionals in Canada
- "How can I make more effective use of my divorce lawyer if I'm mediating my divorce?"
Divorce lawyer Helen Brooks answers: "Some mediators may know legal issues, but they're professionally trained to be impartial and can't give advice to either party. So the most effective use of the mediator, the mediation process, and the lawyer is to make sure you know your legal rights. You can do this by retaining a lawyer and taking the time to obtain very specific legal advice on your own issues, rather than just a general consultation.
It isn't always possible to remember all the legal advice you've received, and in mediation, additional issues may surface unexpectedly due to changes in circumstance..."
- "When does divorce mediation not work?"
Smart Divorce creator Deborah Moskovitch answers: "In order for mediation to be successful, it requires the will of the persons involved to come to an agreement. Both parties must agree to participate in mediation and sign the mediation agreement. They must commit to the disclosure of all pertinent information and focus on the best interests of the children. In cases in which that will is not there, lawyers do not usually recommend mediation. For instance, if someone is refusing to pay spousal or child support or is withholding financial information, then you need to consider another form of dispute resolution..."
- "How can I determine the value of my spouse's pension?"
Actuary Ben Dibben answers: "It is necessary to determine whether the pension is provided under a defined contribution (or RRSP-type) pension plan or under a defined benefit pension plan where the amount of pension is defined by formula.
In the first case, the value before deducting for the tax that will have to be paid on the pension would be the amount of the spouse's account balance at the date of separation. From this would be deducted the corresponding balance at the date of marriage..."
- "Should we stay together for the sake of the kids? If so, how long?"
Family lawyer and mediator Barbara Landau answers: "This is a complicated question, but one that thoughtful parents often ask. Parents worry that their decision to separate will harm children emotionally, socially, and academically. However, the potential harm of separating depends on the reasons for the separation, as well as the ages and vulnerability of the children.
Essentially, the reasons for separation can be classified as high, medium, and low risk. Those in the high risk group include separations based on abuse, addiction to alcohol or drugs, and serious mental illness. Any potential harm caused by separating is likely to be balanced by the benefits of being removed from a harmful and chaotic environment..."