DivorceMag: Oregon FAQs

Frequently Asked Questions About Divorce

Considering separation/divorce:

"What is the worst part of divorce?"
Divorce therapist and telephone counselor Dr. Deborah Hecker answers: "Perhaps the most painful and inescapable part of divorce is that you feel..."

"A spouse has just served me with divorce papers and I am going to see an attorney. What can I expect will happen to me in the divorce?"
Troy, Michigan divorce attorney Ronald Bookholder answers: "The role of the lawyer in educating you is a multi-faceted process. The client needs..."

"Isn't divorce more than just a legal experience?"
Divorce therapist and telephone counselor Dr. Deborah Hecker answers: "The divorce decree merely indicates that the legal aspects of the divorce are over..."

"I have just separated from my spouse. When should I start dating again?"
Divorce therapist and telephone counselor Dr. Deborah Hecker answers: "Your question is excellent and one that all divorcees eventually have to contemplate..."

"I'm starting to wonder if one of my daughters is my biological child. How can I find out without damaging my relationship with her?"
Chicago and Northbrook, Illinois divorce-recovery expert Rick Tivers answers: "You're faced with quite a dilemma. If you find out that Sara is not your daughter..."

"How do I begin my divorce? Do I have to fill out some kind of form?"
Texas divorce and credit experts John Ventura and Mary Reed answer: "No matter which state your divorce takes place in, every divorce starts the same way..."

"When should we separate our joint bank and credit-card accounts?"
Smithtown, New York CDFA and financial planner Carl Palatnik answers: "The way you interact during the earliest stages will set the tone for the entire process..."

"Do I really need a lawyer for my divorce?"
Divorce Central co-founders Pamela Weintraub and Terry Hillman answer: "If you've been married a relatively short time and you don't have kids..."

"What are some of the advantages of Collaborative Divorce?"
DivorceMagazine.com answers: "The most obvious benefit of a Collaborative Divorce is the reduction in stress and emotional trauma..."

"My husband says we'll save time and money by using the collaborative approach because we can share a divorce lawyer. Is that really how Collaborative Divorce works?"
DivorceMagazine.com answers: "In Collaborative Divorce, each spouse hires his or her own collaborative lawyer..."

"How do we know if we're good candidates for Collaborative Divorce?"
DivorceMagazine.com answers: "If both you and your spouse are interested in resolving your divorce cooperatively and openly, with a sincere commitment to..."

During separation/divorce:

"I want to litigate my divorce to get sole custody and my fair share of the property. My lawyer insists it would be better to negotiate outside of court. I strongly disagree. What should I do?"
Troy, Michigan divorce lawyer Ronald Bookholder answers: "It is not uncommon for clients to want to litigate and have their day in court..."
"What is the purpose of the counseling process during and after divorce?"
Divorce therapist and telephone counselor Dr. Deborah Hecker answers: "For most people, divorce breaks their lives apart, and before they can move forward..."

"How long will the process of divorce counseling take?"
Divorce therapist and telephone counselor Dr. Deborah Hecker answers: "Since divorce is the process of experiencing the death of a relationship..."

"I'm worried about how my divorce will affect my financial situation. Should I refinance my home?"
Fayetteville, Georgia mortgage consultant Brad Phillips answers: "The most common reason for refinancing is to save money. This can be achieved in two ways..."
"Does divorce mediation have any advantages over a traditional litigated divorce?"
New York divorce lawyer and mediator Robert Wayburn answers: "The first step is to assess whether your spouse wants to participate in the process..."
"What should I look for in a divorce attorney?"
Woodbridge, New Jersey divorce attorney David Wildstein answers: "Choosing the right family-law attorney is one of your most important decisions when ending marriage..."
"I'm a divorce lawyer representing a client who's having an angry, bitter divorce. I want them to cool it down, but the spouses won't let up with their personal attacks. What's the right course here?"
Jackson, Mississippi family lawyer Mark Chinn answers: "We know that efforts at bridge-building in divorce may be met with rebuffs..."
"Is it all right to date or have a sexual relationship with my lawyer?"
NY family-law attorney Robert Burg answers: "In family law, there is something called 'the appearance of impropriety'..."
"What exactly do divorce decrees cover, as far as liabilities for existing debts are concerned?"
Washington Mutual mortgage consultant Conni Murphy answers: "If you are divorcing your spouse, pay special attention to credit accounts held jointly..."
"What is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and how can one help me in my settlement negotiations with my spouse?"
New York CDFA and financial planner Edward Papier answers: "The financial issues inherent to every divorce case are frequently the ones most overlooked..."
"How does collaborative law differ from mediation or litigation?"
DivorceMagazine.com answers: "Like mediation, collaborative family law is a cooperative, cost-effective, and stress-reducing alternative to litigation..."
"What happens if the collaborative model doesn't work for us and we're not able to reach a settlement?"
DivorceMagazine.com answers: "In collaborative family law, both parties retain a specially trained collaborative divorce lawyer..."
"How is a Collaborative Divorce settlement different from a settlement in a traditional case?"
DivorceMagazine.com answers: "Most divorce cases settle out of court, in terms of property division, spousal and child support, and custody and visitation..."
"What role does the financial advisor play in the Collaborative Divorce model? Do we need to involve one in our divorce?"
DivorceMagazine.com answers: "Unlike in a traditional divorce case, where each spouse may hire his or her own financial advisor to work exclusively with that party..."
"My wife and I have agreed to divorce via the collaborative process, but she and her lawyer are not cooperating fairly. Is it likely that we'll reach a fair settlement?"
DivorceMagazine.com answers: "The whole philosophy of Collaborative Divorce is about resolving disputes through fair cooperation, whereas..."
"Does Collaborative Divorce work the same way throughout the United States and Canada?"
DivorceMagazine.com answers: "Collaborative Divorce uses the same basic model throughout North America -- that of two collaborative lawyers who..."

Post-divorce issues:

"After divorce, what can I do to make a healthy transition that would give me and my family a hopeful outlook to the future?"
Charlotte Eulette, the North American Director of the Celebrant Foundation, answers: "After going through the "real life" upheaval and anxiety of a divorce..."

"I've heard of people having 'divorce ceremonies'. What's that all about?"
Charlotte Eulette, the North American Director of the Celebrant Foundation, answers: "In a ceremony of this kind, friends and family gather for their honored friend..."

"Will my spouse be entitled to some of my pension after our divorce? If so, can I prevent this?"
Lee's Summit, Missouri divorce attorney James Young answers: "To begin answering these questions, one must first define terms. Retirement plans can be broken into..."

"My divorce has ruined me financially, and I'm thinking of filing for bankruptcy. Would there be any negative repercussions?"
Victor Chevalier, with the Debt Free League, answers: "The only good reason you should consider bankruptcy is if you're drowning in debt and..."

"I am about to receive a large settlement from my divorce. What should I be thinking about and what should my first steps be?"
Boulder, Colorado divorce mediator and financial planner Natalie Nelson answers: "If you don't already have a budget, now is the time to create one..."

"A spouse has just served me with divorce papers and I am going to see a divorce attorney. I am confused, upset and very nervous about what is going to happen. What should I expect in the initial interview? What can I expect will happen to me in the divorce?"
Troy, Michigan divorce lawyer Ronald Bookholder answers: "The role of the family lawyer in educating you is a multi-faceted process..."

"Should I withhold visitation from my ex until he starts making child support payments on-time and in-full?"
Millburn, NJ divorce lawyer and mediator Douglas Schoenberg answers: "This problem typically occurs when communication is about to break down or has collapsed..."

"What can I do to help my kids recover from our divorce?"
Chicago, Illinois child psychiatrist Robert Galatzer-Levy answers: "Explain that you can know something is wrong and that you want to understand it..."

"I'm starting to dread my stepchildren's weekend visits. What should I do?"
Toronto, Ontario family lawyer and mediator Barbara Landau answers: "Your dilemma is a familiar one: whether to be the awful stepmother or suffer in silence like Cinderella..."

"My ex-wife told me many times that I have no rhythm and two left feet. What can I do to gain the self-confidence to go dancing?"
Thornhill, Ontario dance instructor Joel Wood answers: "By identifying your challenges, you've taken the first step to achieving your goal..."

"My husband's ex-wife is ruining our marriage. What should I do?"
Los Angeles, California couples counselor Andrea Brandt answers: "My advice would be to talk to your husband about the situation as soon as possible..."

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