"My lawyer tells me I'm eligible for spousal support, but I feel so guilty about my affair that I'm not sure I want to take money from my husband. What should I do?"

This is an excellent question, as it is the type of real-life feedback that is often discussed in a modern law office. The lawyer's client-centered approach will help this conversation develop. Also remember that we are also dealing with clients who experience their spouse's extramarital affair and consequently are reacting with anger, confusion, dissolution, despair, and impacted self-esteem in contradistinction to guilt. Accordingly, there are some common messages designed to assist either client.

Firstly, family-dispute resolution is a process. It is unreasonable or unprofessional for all of these significant longer-term instructions to be fully decided by the client at an early stage in separation or file management. It is a process of information and balanced client deliberation. Often, a client's negotiated settlement or court case involves the most singularly significant decisions about their own as well as their children's destiny. It just takes the time it takes -- and every client has their own unique personal time-clock.

Nigel Macleod practises family law, mediation, and Collaborative Divorce in Ottawa.

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