"My spouse has had several affairs; it's one of the reasons we split up. Can I use this against him in the divorce proceedings?"

Although adultery is an emotional factor in divorce, it will have little influence on the terms of a divorce in New Jersey, except in limited circumstances. NJ divorce courts tend to avoid assessment of fault in divorce law, since it would ultimately become a "he said, she said" proceeding. Even if your spouse had several affairs, there could be other problems in the marriage that contributed to the spouse's unfaithfulness. Because the court will want to avoid becoming entangled in such an emotionally charged issue, adultery will not play a significant role in the terms of a final divorce.

In some states, adultery may be asserted in the divorce complaint as a cause of action for divorce. Marital fault will not affect equitable distribution of marital assets, except where a spouse has dissipated or wasted marital assets. Likewise, under most circumstances, the court will not consider marital fault in calculating an award of alimony, except in two narrow instances. First, courts will consider marital fault in the calculation of an alimony award in cases in which the fault has negatively affected the parties' economic status. Second, the court will consider marital fault where the fault violates societal norms in a way that awarding alimony and continuing the economic bonds between the spouses would be contrary to notions of simple justice. If you believe your spouse's affairs negatively affected your marital economic status or egregiously violate societal norms, you should advise your divorce attorney, so that your divorce attorney can assess whether a viable argument exists for the court to consider marital fault in the award of alimony or equitable distribution.

It may be frustrating to learn that marital fault will not play a significant role in the financial aspect of your divorce. You may feel wronged and want to "punish" your spouse for his adulterous conduct. It is always important to remember that regardless of marital fault, the goal is to resolve the issues as expeditiously as possible and to move on with your life.

Cheryl E. Connors is a divorce lawyer and an associate with the family-law team at Wilentz, Goldman & Spitzer in Woodbridge, New Jersey. She practices family law concentrating on issues of divorce law, child custody, visitation, child support, and equitable distribution.

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