You may have heard about your friend's divorce, and you've read about celebrity divorces. So you may have developed expectations about how property, alimony, and child-custody issues are resolved. But when your marriage fails, it's important to understand the legal and emotional dynamics of your divorce. Each case is unique, driven by how the parties go through the process.

Alternatives in resolving issues

"It's my job to educate clients about alternatives available in resolving issues, to distinguish between their expectations and reality," says Ronald M. Bookholder, a family attorney in Troy, Michigan. "As a lawyer, I need to educate myself as well: I need relevant personal and financial information from the client. I also need information about the client's spouse and emotional dynamics likely to affect the case."

The lawyer must analyze information from the client, their spouse, third parties, experts, and other witnesses, and read between the lines. Ron provides appropriate feedback to help clients make informed decisions. The best solution is one the parties reach themselves, considering their own best interests and their children's, with assistance of counsel.

A true legal expert

Widely regarded as an expert in family law, Ron is past-chairperson of the State Bar of Michigan Family Law Section and the past president of the Michigan Interprofessional Association. He co-authored the Michigan Domestic Relations Arbitration Act and has testified on family-law issues before the Michigan Supreme Court. Ron is also the co-chair of the State Bar of Michigan Family Law Section Alternate Dispute Resolution Committee and practices collaborative law, mediation, and arbitration.

When clients first come to see Ron, they provide information about themselves, their spouse, and their children. Ron always poses the question of reconciliation. He also presents various dispute-resolution options, clarifies misinformation, and enlightens them about the divorce process. A proponent of alternate dispute resolution, Ron says, "The approach you take will affect civility between the parties and their ability to reach final resolution."

Involving clients in all decisions

Ron's associate attorney, Patricia Leary, also has expertise in family law and offers an additional perspective, which gives clients an advantage. After understanding the circumstances, Ron and Pat discuss possible outcomes with the client, noting that there are no guarantees.

While experienced in litigation and prepared to litigate if necessary, Ron and Pat encourage clients to amicably resolve their issues, often using alternative methods of dispute resolution. Ron believes clients should be involved in decision-making. "As attorneys, we educate, provide both legal and practical suggestions, and advocate our clients' positions." Ron and Pat are there to assist their clients, whether it's in litigation, mediation, arbitration, or the collaborative law process.

Life after divorce

Divorce is stressful. If you need help, don't be afraid to see a therapist, Ron urges. "You want to go through divorce with your dignity intact, so you can move on. You want to understand the possible outcomes and achieve a reasonable resolution considering the circumstances of your case." He adds, "Do not involve your children; however, always keep them in mind as you go through the divorce process."

Although divorce can be painful, Ronald Bookholder suggests you should retain hope. "There is life after divorce," he says.

For more information, or to schedule an interview with one of these Michigan family lawyers and mediators, please contact:

1111 West Long Lake Road Road, Suite 201
Troy, Michigan 48098-6308
Phone: (248) 641-0100
e-mail: bookholder@aol.com
www.bookholderlaw.com

Ronald Bookholder has written the following articles:

FAQs:

• "I want to litigate my divorce to get sole custody and my fair share of the property. My lawyer insists it would be better to negotiate outside of court. I strongly disagree. What should I do?"
• "A spouse has just served me with divorce papers and I am going to see an attorney. I am confused, upset and very nervous about what is going to happen. What should I expect in the initial interview? What can I expect will happen to me in the divorce?"