You may have heard about aspects of your friend’s divorce. You’ve no doubt read about celebrity divorces. You may have expectations based upon the information you’ve received from others concerning how the process will work and how issues of property, alimony, and child-related issues will be resolved. But, when your marriage fails, it is important to realize the practical, legal and emotional dynamics involved in your divorce. Each case is fact specific and is driven by not just the legal and emotional dynamics, but the manner in which the parties choose to go through the process.

Many times people receive misinformation, says Ronald M. Bookholder, a family attorney in Troy, Michigan. "It’s my job as the attorney to educate the clients concerning the process and the alternatives available to them in resolving issues in a reasonable manner consistent with the situations in which they find themselves." According to Ron Bookholder, the role of an attorney in educating a client is a multi-faceted process. "As a lawyer I need to educate myself as well as the client. I need to receive relevant personal and financial information from the client, and to distinguish between the client’s expectations, perceptions and the reality of their situation. As a lawyer, I need to have information not only about the client, but also the client’s spouse and the emotional dynamics likely to affect resolution of issues in the case." The lawyer must listen to what the client tells them, and review information provided by the client, their spouse, and information from third parties and/or third party entities, information from experts, and other witnesses, and read between the lines. As a lawyer, Ron Bookholder attempts to absorb and analyze all relevant information in the case, understand emotional dynamics affecting the parties, and provide appropriate feedback to the client in order to properly educate the client so he or she can make informed decisions on reaching a resolution of issues. The best solution is a resolution reached between both parties with assistance of counsel, giving consideration to their own interests and the "best interests" of their children, if any, without having the matter acrimoniously litigated.

The author of many articles about family law, Mr. Bookholder is uniquely qualified to provide his clients with the education they need to proceed with the divorce process. Widely regarded as an expert in family law, Mr. Bookholder is past chairperson of the State Bar of Michigan Family Law Section, a past member of the National Board of Governors and a Certified Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), an association limited to the most skilled and experienced family law attorneys. He is the current president of the Michigan Interprofessional Association (MIPA), an organization of mental health professionals and lawyers. He co-authored the Michigan Domestic Relations Arbitration Act, and has testified on family law issues before the State Legislature, and the Michigan Supreme Court. A certified arbitrator and mediator, Mr. Bookholder is the current chair of the State Bar of Michigan Family Law Section Alternate Dispute Resolution Committee (ADR) and actively practices alternate dispute resolution such as collaborative law, mediation and arbitration. He acts as both a mediator and an arbitrator. He has also served as a liaison to the Institute of Continuing Legal Education (ICLE), creating the Family Law Certificate program for educating family law lawyers in the State of Michigan and helps plan ICLE’s Annual Family Law seminar.

When clients first come to see Mr. Bookholder, there is a consultation where there is an interchange between the lawyer and prospective client. The client provides information about themselves, their spouse, their children, and other information that may be pertinent to an impending divorce. A consultation is informational for the potential client. The question of reconciliation is always posed as lawyers prefer, where possible, to see families stay together. He presents the client with various alternate dispute options, clarifies misinformation clients may have, and enlightens them about the divorce process. Mr. Bookholder is a proponent of alternate dispute resolution. He says, "The truth of the matter is the approach that you take will affect civility between the parties now and in the future and the ability of the parties to reach final resolution." Mediation and collaborative law are alternative dispute resolution processes, which allow each of the parties to be represented by counsel and to constructively participate in reaching their own resolution of issues. These two alternative dispute processes allow parties to have a sense of certainty without having a judge or arbitrator make decisions with finality after hearing from both sides and rendering decisions. If you have a trial before a judge or an arbitrator, you are confined to rigid rules of evidence and procedure, which are used in the adversarial process. The end result may be an outcome that neither you nor your spouse desire.

Mr. Bookholder strongly believes that the client should be intricately involved in the decision-making process. The client will not be the decision-maker when a judge or arbitrator issues opinions and/or awards. In mediation and collaborative law, the parties have an opportunity to participate in informal meetings and have a negotiated resolution in which the parties fully participate. Mr. Bookholder says, "As attorneys we educate, provide suggestions, and advocate our clients’ positions." After understanding the facts and circumstances, Ron discusses possible outcomes with the client, noting that there are no guarantees.

Divorce can be a very stressful time in your life. Don’t be afraid to get the help you need to get through your divorce. If you need help, see a therapist, he urges. Mr. Bookholder offers these words of advice. "You want to go through divorce with your pride and dignity intact. You want to get through a divorce so you can move on with your life. You want to understand the possible outcomes, and you want to achieve a reasonable resolution considering the facts and circumstances of your case." Finally, he says, "Do not involve your children, however, you must always keep them in mind as you go through the divorce process."

Although divorce can be a sad, painful time, Mr. Bookholder suggests that those experiencing a marital breakdown retain a sense of hope and optimism for the future. He states, "I like to tell people that there is life after divorce. You can move forward and go on with your life in a very positive way."

For more information, or to schedule an interview, please contact:

Ronald M. Bookholder Law Office
1111 West Long Lake Road Road, Suite 201
Troy, Michigan 48098-6308
Phone: (248) 641-0100
eMail: bookholder@aol.com
http://www.bookholderlaw.com/

Ronald Bookholder has written the following article:

• "A spouse has just served me with divorce papers and I am going to see an attorney. I am confused, upset and very nervous about what is going to happen. What should I expect in the initial interview? What can I expect will happen to me in the divorce?"