DivorceMag: Louisiana FAQs

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Frequently Asked Questions About Divorce

"I'm starting to dread my stepchildren's weekend visits. What should I do?"

Family lawyer and mediator Barbara Landau answers: " Your dilemma is a familiar one: whether to be cast in the role of the awful stepmother or to suffer in silence like Cinderella. Neither of these options sounds very promising. When you feel caught between a number of unattractive alternatives, it's a good idea to stand back and clarify your objectives.

First, maintaining a good relationship with your husband should be a high priority. For this reason, it would be unwise to put him in the position of choosing between pleasing you and jeopardizing his relationship with the children. When parents have a limited amount of time with their children, they are often anxious about setting limits out of fear that the children may choose not to come for a scheduled visit..."

"My ex-wife told me many times that I have no rhythm and two left feet. What can I do to gain the self-confidence to go dancing?"

Dance instructor Joel Wood answers: “By identifying your challenges, you've taken the first step to achieving your goal. The good news is that a good instructor at a reputable studio really can teach you to dance socially with confidence -- despite what your ex-wife thought about your lack of ability.

At a singles dance, the first challenge facing you is to put your ego on the line by asking an interesting person to dance with you -- and then accepting her response graciously. If she says “yes," then you're facing the next hurdle: now you have to " show your stuff" as you float around the floor guiding this new partner. Your dance together will be a success if you can keep it interesting for both of you, avoid bumping into other couples, and make light conversation while you dance..."

"My husband's ex-wife is ruining our marriage. What should I do?"

Couples counselor Andrea Brandt answers: “My advice would be to talk to your husband about the situation as soon as possible. If you don't communicate your feelings and needs, he may take your silence as tacit approval of his actions.

How you approach him is very important. You need to be thoughtful: choose a good time for both of you when you're both free, calm and alert, and when there will be no interruptions; and then express your feelings and concerns, telling him what you need from him.

For example: "Honey, I'm really upset about how often you see Teresa and how much you do for her. I love you and love spending time with you, and I feel your relationship with her takes away from our time together..."

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