"What are my chances of getting custody of our children, or at least being able to see them half the time?"

The most critical issues in any divorce case concern the children. Every case is different, just as every family is different. There are no mathematical formulae which can be applied in any case to predict the results. However, some very fundamental guidelines can greatly improve your changes of maintaining a strong a positive relationship with your children both during the process and into the future, long after your divorce case is completed.

Remember, the judge in your case is charged with promoting the best interests of the children -- and not the best interests of Mom or of Dad.

1. Listen to your lawyer's advice. He or she is experienced in the process, and will be looking to both short-term concerns and long-terms objectives.
2. Put the children first. Do everything in your power to insulate the children from the difficulties with your spouse. Divorce changes the dynamic of the family structure, and those changes can be difficult for any child. Don’t add to the difficulty by unnecessarily involving them in the process.;
3. Act appropriately.

Be positive about the other parent.

Try to cooperate with your spouse. May be the most difficult thing to accomplish. Particularly if he or she seems unwilling to cooperate with you. After all, if you were able to effectively cooperate:

• Put your children first
• Meticulously comply with court orders
• When appropriate, and after consultation with your attorney, consider counseling.
• Put your children first
• Be timely, respectful, cooperative, and positive, in all of your contact and communications with people involved in the process, e.g., mediators, guardian as litem, CR/AMC, social workers, attorneys, judges, etc. For whatever the occasion, in the legal process, come prepared.
• Be involved in your children's lives. Go to Parent-teacher conferences; get to know the kid’s teachers, school administrators, coaches, counselors, health-care providers.
• Listen to your kids; don't interrogate them.
• Help the kids with their homework,
• Oh, and one more thing: put the kids first!

Michael S. Schiffman practices family law with The Chawla Group in Hinsdale, IL, where he devotes 100% of his practice to litigation. He can be reached at (630) 325-5557. View his firm's website and Divorce Magazine profile.