Note that information given in this section cannot take the place of a divorce lawyer. For legal divorce advice about your specific situation, you must consult a qualified lawyer. See our disclaimer.

"If a divorce involves complex issues, can you still use a mediator?"

You can always use a mediator. If your divorce involves complex issues, though, the trick is to find the right mediator.

The first thing you need to do is to identify what kinds of issues you have. If your complex issues involve your children, or parenting issues, then a mediator with a background in social work or psychology may best serve you. That kind of training will help the mediator deal with the heavy emotions that will undoubtedly arise when you’re trying to resolve parenting and child-based issues.
If your complex issues are more legal in nature, then you may want to enlist the aid of a mediator who is an attorney. His or her background and training may help you figure out what is or is not marital property and what the law requires in general. While the mediator cannot give you and your spouse legal advice, if he or she has a working knowledge of family law, the mediator may be able to better guide you through your complex legal issues and make an agreement that will either resolve those issues or at least deal with them in a manner acceptable to you and your spouse.
If your complex issues are financial, you may want to consider hiring a lawyer-mediator and also an accountant or other financial expert, who can work with the mediator and help you understand and resolve your financial issues. If you and your spouse can agree on a financial expert on whom you trust, then you can hire one expert who will work with both of you and with your mediator. That is certainly the most economical approach. Otherwise, you and your spouse can each obtain your own expert to work through the heavy financial issues individually. What you need to realize, though, is that if you and your spouse are facing complex financial issues in your divorce, and you can’t even agree on what expert you want to help you resolve those issues, the chances that your mediation will ultimately be successful are probably not the best.

Karen A. Covy, J.D. is an attorney and family-law mediator in Chicago. She owns and operates Midwest Mediation as well as a successful family-law firm. This answer is an excerpt from When Happily Ever After Ends (2006), used by permission of its publisher, Sphinx Publishing, an imprint of Sourcebooks, Inc. She can be reached at (312) 236-1670. View her Divorce Magazine profile.

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