• Amicable divorce
• Adultery/Cheating/Betrayal
• Child support issues
• Divorce lawyers
• Financial
• Insurance Policies/ Beneficiary

• Legal issues
• Legal preparation
• Mediation issues
• Collaborative family law issues
• Emotional/Relationship issues
• Property/Asset division

• "Should I hire a private detective if I think my spouse is cheating on me? I’d like to have evidence in case we divorce. "
  "The answer is no; unless you like wasting your time and money. In Illinois, as in most states, “fault” is no longer a factor that you need to prove in a divorce. That means, for the most part, no matter how many affairs your spouse had, his or her “bad behavior” will have little or no effect…"
• "Cheating or betrayal is one of the main reasons couples decide to end their marriages. A common question is: How will this affect my divorce case?"
  Illinois family lawyer and Certified Public Accountant Michael C. Craven, answers: "The answer to this depends upon the circumstances…"

• "Can I stop my divorce?"
  "If you are the Petitioner (i.e., if you were the person who filed for the divorce) AND your spouse did not file a counter-petition, then you can dismiss your case whenever you want. Dismissing your case stops your divorce.…"
• "My spouse and I have been married for 15 years, we have 2 children, own our home and a business together. So far, our separation has been amicable, should we go through with a do-it-yourself divorce?"
  Illinois family lawyer Kevin Saville, answers:"Rather than do it yourself — do it better…"
• "We are filing for our divorce very soon. What are your best tips so that we can avoid going to court."
  Illinois family law attorney Sandra M. Rosenbloom, answers: "The best way for divorcing couples to stay out of court is to contact Collaborative attorneys…"
• "I'm about to tell my wife that I want a divorce. I'm really nervous to break the news. I know she's going to be upset - she doesn't want the divorce. I'm also afraid I'm going to lose everything, from the house to the children. How do I handle breaking the news to her?"
  Illinois family law attorney Sandra M. Rosenbloom, answers: "Timing is important. Don't break the news when you are about to go to sleep. Consider a time when you and your wife..."

• “When does child support end?”
  “Unless your marital settlement agreement states otherwise, child support generally ends when the child reaches age 18 or graduates from high school…”
• “My husband is unemployed and says he can’t pay the child and/or spousal support he owes me. Is there anything I can do?”
  “Even unemployed parents have an obligation to support their children. The real questions are: how much does he have to pay, what will he have to pay for, and…”
• “Are Alimony and Child Support payments taxable?”
  “Child support and spousal support (alimony) are treated differently for tax purposes and they can result in significant tax consequences for both parties. Child support is “tax free” to the custodial parent…”
• “My ex husband recently died, will his estate still pay my alimony and the child support payments?”
  “No. However, hopefully, your judgment required your spouse to maintain a life insurance policy with you as the beneficiary as security for your alimony and child support payments. If so, the proceeds of the policy should serve to support you and the children after your former spouse has died”
• “I want custody of our kids and cannot bear the thought of moving them out of the house. If I get custody, will I get to keep the house?”
  “This is one of the most common questions heading into a divorce. There are many factors which go into formulating an answer, such as the total value of the marital estate, whether you earn an income and the potential award of child support and/or maintenance…”
• “Now that I am separated, I would like to raise my child in a different religion than what my wife wants. Can I do that?”
  Joy M. Feinberg, a family lawyer in Chicago, answers: “Very often, custody is disputed because parents cannot agree on the choice of religion for the child. Under current Illinois custody law…”
• "How can I tell what is a better deal, maintenance or child support?"
  Evanston, Illinois CPA Linda Forman answers: "Maintenance is for the spouse, and child support is for the children..."
• "Will a judge decide the amount of the child support or can my spouse and I decide on the amount? What about college expenses? Can I change the amount once the settlement is finalized?"
  Evanston, IL Financial Planner Nicole Brucker answers: "It is best to come to an agreement before you go before a judge, since..."
• "What if my spouse doesn't pay child support he or she has been ordered to pay?"
  Evanston, Illinois Divorce Financial Advisor Nicole Brucker answers: "If a spouse ordered to pay child support is not fulfilling his or her obligation..."
• "Are alimony and child support taxable? If so, is there any way of structuring support payments to my ex to lower my taxes?"
  Chicago, Illinois CDFA Bruce Richman answers: "Spousal support and child support are two different types of payments and are taxed differently..."
• "My ex-husband hasn't paid the last two months of child support. I found out last night he took his new girlfriend to the Bahamas. I'm so angry. What can I do?"
  Chicago divorce attorney Jay Frank answers: "The terms which require your ex-husband to pay child support can be enforced under Illinois family law..."
• "My ex-wife recently married a very wealthy man. Can I now stop making child support payments?"
  Chicago, Illinois family lawyer Jay Frank answers: "Under Illinois divorce law, your obligation to pay child support only terminates if your child is emancipated..."

Divorce lawyers:

• "Can my spouse and I conduct our own negotiations without our lawyers present? Of course, we'd each have our own lawyer look over any agreement before we signed it?”
  Jeffrey W. Brend, a family lawyer and Certified Public Accountant in Chicago, answers: “If you have the ability to peacefully discuss the issues involved in the divorce (such as custody, visitation, and property division), then I encourage you to open a dialogue with your spouse. However…”
• “What questions should one ask a prospective Divorce Lawyer?”
  Robert K. Downs, a family lawyer in Chicago, answers: “There is not necessarily a right or wrong answer to all of these questions. They are really a way for you to get to know the lawyer and retain some control over the initial interview. The key is…”
• "I need a lawyer for my divorce. What are the things to look for when I am hiring a lawyer?"
  Illinois family law attorney and matrimonial practitioner, Jay A. Frank answers: "The first step in the process is to identify several lawyers for you to meet…"

Financial issues:

• "We just need a simple divorce. How much will it cost?"
  " The only honest answer is “I don’t know.” Any lawyer who quotes a flat amount is either inexperienced or deceptive. If indeed you and your spouse have agreed on everything, and nothing has to be…"
• "How can I keep my legal bills under control?"
  " The easiest way to keep your legal bills under control, believe it or not, is to talk to your spouse. The more issues that the two of you can work out yourselves, the more…"
• "I'm about to remarry, will my ex still need to pay alimony payments?"
  " Probably not. Unless your divorce judgment specifically said that your ex would have to pay you alimony payments for a certain period of time...."
• "How much will the legal fees be for my divorce?"
  "That depends on how much you fight. Divorce attorneys typically charge by the hour.…"
• "I may not be able to pay my attorney as I'm running out of money, will they still do work for me if I can't afford to pay them?"
  "Not normally. However, if your spouse earns enough money to pay for both lawyers, or if there are marital assets (e.g. bank accounts, investments, or retirement funds) that can be used to pay attorney’s fees…"
• "I don't want to divorce so do I have to pay or will my spouse pay for the costs associated with the divorce?"
  "Unfortunately, whether or not you want the divorce is not necessarily relevant. Obviously, if you don’t want a divorce, you won’t be the one filing for a divorce in court, so you won’t incur those costs up front. But, if your spouse files for a divorce, you will need to hire an attorney…"
• "I may not be able to pay my attorney as I’m running out of money. Will my attorney work for me if I can’t afford to pay?"
  "There isn’t a simple answer to this question, as it depends on your lawyer and on the facts of the case. With respect to your lawyer, some attorneys will insist on being paid as the case progresses and will not continue their representation unless they are paid. Other attorneys will…"
• I am thinking about getting a divorce. Should I make any changes to the insurance policies I have which says that my spouse is my beneficiary? And, when should I make that change?
  Illinois Financial Advisor Brandi Ruffalo, answers: The owner of a life insurance policy can change the beneficiary at any time. However…
• “Are Alimony and Child Support payments taxable?”
  Illinois Financial Advisor Brandi Ruffalo, answers: Child support and spousal support (alimony) are treated differently for tax purposes…
• “I have a business that I have built up with my business partner while my spouse worked full time for a company. What should I do to keep the business?”
  Illinois Financial Advisor Brandi Ruffalo, answers: A business developed during the course of a marriage is considered a marital asset. Therefore…
• “What impact will my divorce have on my health insurance?”
  Illinois Financial Advisor Brandi Ruffalo, answers: Insurance expenses can change dramatically post-divorce so it is important to contact your insurance company…
• “What should people consider before filing for a divorce?”
  Illinois Financial Advisor Brandi Ruffalo, answers: Get organized, copy important documents, talk to an attorney, consider the financial impacts, decide what you want....
• What health insurance options do I have after divorce?
  Naperville, Illinois CDFA Marcia Kraus answers: "If you are divorced, but your marriage lasted ten years or longer, you can receive benefits..."
• Are there any tax consequences to a short sale or foreclosure if the bank forgives the unpaid part of the loan?
  Naperville, Illinois CDFA Marcia Kraus answers: "The biggest issue financially in a short sale or foreclosure is whether the mortgage holder(s) will forgive..."
• How does divorce affect my social security benefits?
  Naperville, Illinois CDFA Marcia Kraus answers: "Once you are divorced, you will no longer be eligible for coverage as a dependent on your spouse’s policy..."
• "Can't we just take our own accounts and go our separate ways?"
  Evanston, Illinois CPA Linda Forman answers: "You could do that, but you'd run the risk of leaving a lot on the table..."
• "We aren't divorced yet, and my husband is insisting on our filing a joint income-tax return."
  Evanston, Illinois Certified Public Accountant Linda Forman answers: "Is your husband forcing you to file a return in which he's not reporting everything?..."
• "How do I figure out what my wife's investments are really worth?"
  Chicago CPA Linda Forman answers: "If your spouse bought stocks and bonds in the open market, there's no problem with valuing them..."
• "I want a divorce, but I'm worried about how it will affect me financially -- especially in the current economic climate. Is it a bad idea to divorce in a recession like this?"
  Evanston, IL Financial Planner Nicole Brucker answers: "As in most things associated with divorce, the financial aspect is complicated..."
• "How much will my case cost?"
  Chicago divorce lawyer Bob Downs answers: "When the initial lawyer/client interview takes place, it covers a lot of ground, but sooner or later..."
• "I'm worried that this divorce is going to ruin me financially. Do you have any tips to prevent this?"
  Chicago divorce attorney-mediator Karen Covy answers: "Gather your financial information before you file for divorce, so your case doesn't drag on..."
• "Will my spouse be entitled to some of my pension after our divorce? If so, can I prevent this?"
  Chicago divorce lawyer Jay Frank answers: "The short answer to this question is: yes. A pension plan is like a bank account or any other marital asset..."
• "What are some of the pitfalls I should watch for on the financial side of the divorce process?"
  Evanston, Illinois CPA Linda Forman answers: "People in the midst of divorce are under stress and may not have perfect recall for one reason or another..."
• "Is it possible or even advisable to keep the family business going after we divorce? How should we proceed?"
  Evanston, Illinois Certified Public Accountant Linda Forman answers: "Here are some of the areas that should be covered with business professionals..."
• "What is one of the most common financial mistakes that people make in a divorce?"
  Chicago divorce lawyer and CPA Jeffrey Brend answers: "One of the most common mistakes is not taking full advantage of the federal income-tax code..."
• "If your ex-spouse fails to pay for debts he or she acquired while you were married, can his or her creditors come after you for payment?"
  Chicago divorce attorney Paul Feinstein answers: "If the debts were acquired jointly, the creditors are not bound by the divorce decree..."
• "If I file for divorce, how can I protect certain assets (family heirlooms, etc.) from my ex?"
  Chicago family lawyer Jay Frank answers: "Illinois divorce law divides property into two kinds: non-marital property and marital property..."
• "I want a divorce, but I don't think I can afford it. What do I do?"
  Evanston, Illinois CDFA Nancy Liebman answers: "Step one is to assemble the information necessary for a financial inventory..."
• "My husband and I own a small business. Who should value this asset, and how do I find them?"
  Chicago divorce attorney and CPA Jeffrey Brend answers: "Often, business-valuation issues arising in divorce relate to small family-operated business..."
• "I'm worried that my spouse will try to hide assets from me if I ask for a divorce. How can I be sure I get a fair share of his business and other assets?"
  Chicago, Illinois CDFA Bruce Richman answers: "Your spouse may try to hide assets, but most people usually leave trails that can be followed..."
• "How do I get my husband's pension?"
  Evanston, Illinois CPA Linda Forman answers: "These days, 'pension' is a generic term for a variety of plans that include..."
• I'm transferring some of my interest in an IRA to my spouse in our divorce agreement. How should I go about doing this?"
  Chicago, Illinois CDFA Bruce Richman answers: "The IRS is very clear that an early distribution from an IRA is subject to a 10% penalty..."
• "How could my income taxes be affected by my divorce?"
  Naperville, Illinois CDFA Marcia Kraus answers: "First, your filing status will change to reflect your marital status on the last day of the year..."
• "I've never bought auto insurance before. Could you please give me some basic information to help me understand what I need in the way of coverage?"
  Answer Financial answers: "Auto insurance -- like all insurance -- is about risk. You buy auto insurance hoping an accident doesn't happen to you..."
• "I'm thinking about getting a divorce. How can a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) help me?"
  Illinois CDFA Connie Walsh answers: "CDFAs are specifically trained in the financial issues of divorce..."
• "Can my credit history affect the cost of my auto insurance?"
  Answer Financial answers: "An individual's credit rating is a key factor that affects auto insurance rates..."
• "Is it better to receive one lump sum payment up front rather than monthly spousal support payments?"
  Illinois CDFA Connie Walsh answers: "As always, be sure that you review any agreements with your divorce attorney and a financial specialist..."
• "How can I reduce the cost of my auto insurance?"
  Answer Financial answers: "Consumers are countering rising gas prices and other costs by capitalizing on lower auto insurance rates..."
• "I have received a large lump settlement from my divorce. How should I invest it?"
  Illinois CDFA Connie Walsh answers: "Even though your divorce settlement has been finalized, your work is not finished..."

Insurance Policies/ Beneficiary:

• "I am thinking about getting a divorce. Should I make any changes to the insurance policies I have which says that my spouse is my beneficiary? And, when should I make that change?"
  "The owner of a life insurance policy can change the beneficiary at any time. However, the divorce process may lead to different outcomes for your policies. For example,….."
• "My spouse has a health plan through his work, will I still be covered by the plan after we divorce?"
  "Continuation of health insurance is one of the most important problems that couples face when they divorce. For the reason being that there have been some changes to the health care laws under President Obama, changes that are being challenged and at this time still remain as open questions.."
• "I am thinking about getting a divorce. Should I make any changes to the insurance policies I have which says that my spouse is my beneficiary? And, when should I make that change?"
  Illinois financial divorce advisor Brandi Ruffalo, answers: "The owner of a life insurance policy can change the beneficiary…"

Legal issues:

• "If I just want a divorce, do I have to go to court?" 
  "In a word: Yes. Marriage is a legal contract between two people. The only one who can break that contract and end a marriage is a judge. That having been said, it is often very…"
• "Can I represent myself in family law court?" 
  "Yes, you can represent yourself in court. The real question, however, is whether that’s a good idea. If you have only been married a short time, and you have few assets, no children, and…"
• "I heard that we can do our own pre-nup and that pre-nups never hold up in court, is that true?" 
  "If you have assets worth protecting, then you need to spend the money to protect them properly. Unless you are a lawyer yourself, doing your own pre-nup is probably going to be as worthless as having no pre-nup…"
• "What should one know when hiring a divorce attorney?" 
  Michael Craven of Beermann Swerdlove LLP answers:  "I think the client and attorney must have chemistry. I represent people, not businesses..."
• "My wife has been cheating on me. I want to leave her, but I'm worried I won't get custody of our kids. Are the courts still reluctant to grant child custody to fathers?"
  Chicago CPA and family-law attorney practicing Jeffrey W. Brend answers: "The court shall determine custody in accordance with the best interests of the child..."
• "If I divorce, will my children be able to afford to go to college or university?"
  Chicago senior divorce practitioner Jay A. Frank answers: "Under the Divorce Act, the court can require parents to contribute to a college fund for their children..."
• "If a divorce involves complex issues, can you still use a mediator?"
  Chicago attorney and family-law mediator Karen A. Covy, J.D answers: "The first thing you need to do is to identify what kinds of issues you have..."
• "I have joint custody. What if I suspect that my ex-spouse is physically or emotionally abusing our child?"
  Chicago divorce attorney-mediator Karen Covy answers: "If you have good reason to believe your ex is physically abusing your child..."
• "I'm in the middle of a divorce but have already fallen in love with somebody else. Is it legal to get engaged before the divorce is final? If so, will it affect the divorce outcome?"
  Chicago, Illinois family lawyer-mediator Karen Covy answers: "Legally, you can't marry someone when you are still married to someone else, so..."
• "Under what circumstances can I annul my marriage, rather than get a divorce?"
  Chicago, Illinois family law attorney and mediator Karen Covy answers: "First, you have to understand whether you want a legal or a religious annulment..."
• "I've been ordered to pay an amount of support that I can't afford. What are my options?"
  Chicago divorce attorney and mediator Karen Covy answers: "Support orders are always modifiable. If your circumstances have changed..."
• "How long will my case take?"
  Chicago family law attorney Bob Downs answers: "Cases that start out simple can fall apart, and sometimes the most difficult matters get resolved quickly..."
• "I'm pretty well off financially, so legal costs are of no concern to me. Will I get better service with a more expensive divorce attorney?"
  Chicago divorce lawyer and mediator Karen Covy answers: "When choosing a lawyer, it is important to consider not just the lawyer, but yourself..."
• "My spouse has had several affairs; it's one of the reasons we split up. Can I use this against him in the divorce proceedings?"
  Chicago, Illinois family-law attorney Jay Frank answers: "Under Illinois divorce law, you cannot use your husband's affairs for a more favorable divorce settlement..."
• "Is there any legal reason why fathers should not be awarded custody of their children just as often as mothers?"
  Chicago, Illinois family lawyer and CPA Jeffrey Brend answers: "In the past, it was presumed that the mother would stay at home to take care of the children..."
• "How do I find the right lawyer for me?"
  Chicago divorce lawyer Jay Frank answers: "Choosing the right divorce lawyer to represent you in your matrimonial case is important..."
• "Can one lawyer represent my spouse and me? I think it would save us both time and money."
  Chicago, Illinois family-law attorney Jay Frank answers: "A divorce attorney is required to use his best efforts to promote the interests of his client..."
• "If you live in a 'common-law marriage', are you entitled to same support and property division as if you were legally married?"
  Chicago divorce attorney Jay Frank answers: "Living together does not give one party any rights against the other..."
• "My wife and I are divorcing, and I'm concerned about protecting the interests of my children. What can I do?"
  Chicago, IL divorce lawyer and CPA Jeffrey Brend answers: "The legal community has become more sensitive to children's involvement in the legal system..."
• "My wife has been cheating on me. I want to leave her, but I'm worried I won't get custody of our kids. Are the courts still reluctant to grant custody to fathers?"
  Chicago divorce attorney and CPA Jeffrey Brend answers: "The court shall determine custody in accordance with the best interests of the child..."
• "Can I fire my divorce lawyer? How? Under what conditions?"
  Chicago divorce lawyer Joy Feinberg answers: "Ideally, you and your divorce attorney should work together to arrive at the best possible outcome..."
• "I'm attracted to my divorce lawyer. Is it OK for me to date or sleep with him? Should I wait until my divorce is final?"
  Chicago, Illinois family lawyer Jay Frank answers: "It's important to separate your professional relationship with your divorce lawyer from any personal relationship..."
• "Can I object to the amount of fees charged by my divorce lawyer? How?"
  Chicago, IL divorce lawyer Paul Feinstein answers: "It is recommended that there be a written fee contract with your divorce attorney..."
• "What can I do if my divorce lawyer doesn't return my calls?"
  Chicago, Illinois family lawyer Paul Feinstein answers: "I can't tell you how many cases I have picked up from divorce attorneys who do not adequately communicate..."
• "I don't feel like my divorce lawyer is answering my questions. What can I do to change this?"
  Chicago, IL divorce lawyer Jay Frank answers: "It is very important that your divorce attorney responds promptly and appropriately to your questions..."
• "Can you modify a prenuptial, post-nuptial, or divorce agreement?"
  Chicago, Illinois family-law attorney Michael Chiero answers: "A prenup disposes of property belonging to either party and becomes effective upon marriage..."
• "Can I make modifications to my Divorce Decree? My circumstances have changed, and I'm going to need more support."
  Chicago, Illinois family-law attorney Jay Frank answers: "In Illinois, your spousal support can be changed if you can show 'a substantial change in circumstances'..."
• "I want to change my name back to my maiden name. How do I do it?"
  Chicago, Illinois family-law attorney Paul Feinstein answers: "If your divorce is not yet final, you can simply ask for it the day you are divorced..."
• "When does my Divorce Decree become effective? My fiancee and I are anxious to set a date for our wedding. And what happens after the Divorce Decree is entered?"
  Chicago divorce attorney Karen Bowes answers: "Illinois does not have a waiting period for the Judgment to become effective, as some other states do..."
• "If your spouse interferes with your visitation, are you entitled to withhold child support until you receive your court-ordered visitation?"
  Hinsdale, IL divorce attorney Paul Chawla answers: "Illinois family law, as well as that of other states, regards child support as a matter of public policy..."
• "I have committed adultery. Will my spouse get the lion's share of everything, including property and higher-than-usual support?"
  Chicago, Illinois family lawyer Beverly Pekala answers: "There are several ways in which adultery can become an issue in your divorce case..."
• "Is it true that going to court is the only way to ensure you'll get your fair share?"
  Chicago, IL divorce attorney-mediator Kathryn Somers answers: "A skillful divorce attorney or mediator can help you receive your fair share out of court..."
• "Does Illinois have alimony? How does it work?"
  Chicago, Illinois family lawyer Kimberly Anderson answers: "The court can grant a person temporary or permanent spousal support without regard to marital misconduct..."
• "Is it true that you are automatically entitled to receive alimony for a percentage of the number of years you were married?"
  Chicago divorce lawyer Theodore Grippo answers: "Of all the financial matters settled in a divorce, spousal support often mystifies people the most..."
• "If your ex-spouse fails to pay for debts he or she acquired while you were married, can his or her creditors come after you for payment?"
  Chicago, Illinois family-law attorney Wes Cowell answers: "If you had nothing to do with the debt during the marriage, then the creditor won't be able to go after you..."
• "How can a father increase his chances of being awarded primary custody of his children?"
  Chicago divorce attorney Kimberly Anderson answers: "The court weighs many factors to reach that decision..."

Legal preparation:

• “How do I prepare for the possibility of divorce?”
  The first thing you need to do if you think you may be getting divorced in the near future is gather information. Educate yourself about the state of your…
• “I’m sorry I signed a prenup, now that I’m getting a divorce it doesn’t seem fair to me, what can I do about it now?”
  Christopher T. Marx a family Attorney in Chicago, answers: “The first place to attack any prenup is at the roots. There are several circumstances under which a prenup was signed that may render the entire contract unenforceable. For example, if..
• How should I prepare myself for the deposition for my divorce?
  Chicago divorce attorney Jay Frank answers: During the time a divorce case is pending, many things are happening. However, several of them are very important, and giving your deposition is one of them.
• "We are filing for our divorce very soon. What are your best tips so that we can avoid going to court?"
  Northfield, Illinois divorce lawyer and mediator Sandra Rosenbloom answers: "If the two of you wish to avoid going to court, go Collaborative. The best way for divorcing couples to stay out of court is to contact..."
• "I was just served with divorce papers. Can I try to talk my wife out of this or do I need to file something right away? What should I do?"
  Illinois lawyer at Janet Boyle & Associates, Ltd. (JBA) Firm Janet E. Boyle answers: "The Petition for Dissolution of Marriage is the opening volley in every divorce case...."
• "I'm just starting my divorce. What pitfalls should I watch out for in the process?"
  Hinsdale, Illinois divorce attorney Michael Schiffman answers: "Any legal proceedings can be daunting and confusing to one unfamiliar with the process..."
• "How can I prepare myself for my day in court?"
  Hinsdale, Illinois divorce lawyer Michael Schiffman answers: "Appearing in court can be remarkably stressful. The courthouse seems like a foreign environment..."
• "What information do I need to bring to an initial consultation with my divorce lawyer?"
  Chicago, Illinois family-law attorney and CPA Jeffrey Brend answers: "During the interview, you should expect to be asked about the specifics of your case..."
• "I need to discuss certain aspects of my case. Can I call my spouse's divorce lawyer if mine is out of town?"
  Chicago divorce attorney Tina Abramovich answers: "Divorce lawyers are expected to act in accordance with various codes of ethics..."

Mediation issues:

• "If a divorce involves complex issues, can you still use a mediator?"
  "You can always use a mediator. If your divorce involves complex issues, though, the trick is to find the right mediator. The first thing you need to do is to identify what kinds of…"
• "How can we negotiate our divorce rather than battle it out?"
  "The best way to negotiate is to talk to your spouse. Don’t make your case the war of the Roses. Try to communicate with each other – especially if you have kids. If you can’t…"
• "What happens after we reach an agreement in mediation?"
  "The mediator will write all of the agreements you reach into a mediated settlement agreement…"
• "Do both myself and my spouse need to be in the same room if we go the mediation route for our divorce?"
  "Not necessarily, although normally mediations do take place with both you, your spouse, and the mediator together in one room. The more important question, though, is: why wouldn’t you want to be in the same room with your spouse during mediation?"
• "What is mediation/arbitration?"
  "Mediation is a process in which two parties in a case use the help of an independent, neutral mediator to help them resolve their issues amicably and outside of the court system. The mediator does not represent either party, nor does the mediator have the authority to force either party to come to an agreement. . …"
• "What are your best tips on how to have a successfully mediated divorce?"
  Illinois Divorce Mediator Jerald A. Kessler, answers: "Divorce has to be a win-win or it will be a lose-lose.."
• "How long does mediation usually take? Are there ways to speed up the process?"
  Evanston, Illinois divorce lawyer-mediator Jerald Kessler answers: "The key to the timing is to remember that mediation is a process..."
• "What if we try divorce mediation and it doesn't work out? Do we have to go to court, or are there other options?"
  Chicago divorce lawyer and mediator Karen Covy answers: "With or without a mediator, you still need to go to court to get divorced..."
• "What is divorce mediation? Is a mediated agreement binding?"
  Chicago divorce mediator Brian James answers: "Divorce mediation is an efficient and inexpensive process designed to help people reach the best agreements..."
• "Is divorce mediation for couples who want to reconcile?"
  Northfield, Illinois family lawyer and mediator Sandra Rosenbloom answers: "Divorce mediation provides the chance to resolve problems without destroying the family network..."
• "What training does someone need to become a divorce mediator? What should I know about a divorce mediator before choosing one?"
  Chicago, Illinois divorce mediator Brian James answers: "Most divorce and family mediators have completed a divorce and family-mediation training course..."
• "If a divorce involves complex issues, can you still use a divorce mediator?"
  Evanston, IL divorce attorney-mediator Jerald Kessler answers: "Divorce mediation is a process that lends itself to a reasoned opportunity to address complex cases..."
• "If I use divorce mediation, will I need to go to court? Will I need a divorce lawyer?"
  Chicago family mediator Brian James answers: "If you are using mediation in order to obtain a divorce, you will have to file in court for your divorce..."
• "How can I make more effective use of my divorce attorney if I am mediating my divorce?"
  Evanston, Illinois divorce lawyer-mediator Jerald Kessler answers: "Properly trained mediators will insist that you each have a divorce attorney available..."
• "How long will divorce mediation take? How long are the sessions?"
  Chicago, IL divorce mediator Brian James answers: "Because each and every mediation is unique, it is hard to predict exactly how long your mediation will last..."
• "What information must I disclose to my spouse and to the mediator? What is discussed during divorce mediation?"
  Chicago, Illinois family mediator Brian James answers: "All financial information must be disclosed and verified as part of the mediation process..."
• "Will we meet weekly with the mediator? Who is present at the divorce mediation sessions?"
  Chicago, IL family mediator Brian James answers: "During the free initial consultation, you will identify the issues that need to be decided in the case of divorce..."
• "How much will divorce mediation cost?"
  Chicago, Illinois mediator Brian James answers: "Your mediation costs will be based on an hourly fee and initial retainer. These fees will be charged..."
• "If both divorce lawyers are settlement-minded, is there any point in spending more money on a mediator?"
  Chicago divorce lawyer and mediator Robin Hoberman answers: "There is no replacement for direct communication between two people..."

Collaborative family law issues:

• "I'd like to resolve my divorce as quickly and inexpensively as possible, but my wife and I just can't stop fighting. Is it still possible to use Collaborative Divorce?"
  Illinois family law attorney Sandra Crawford answers: “Yes. It is possible for couples who "can't stop fighting" to engage in the Collaborative…"
• "We have a lot of assets to divide. Is Collaborative Divorce appropriate -- or even wise?"
  Chicago divorce lawyer Sandra Crawford answers: "In addition to your collaborative attorneys, your Collaborative Divorce team typically will include..."
• "My wife is very controlling. Will Collaborative Divorce work for us?"
  Northfield, Illinois divorce lawyer and mediator Sandra Rosenbloom answers: "After participating in many Collaborative Divorce cases, I find that Collaborative Divorce is..."
• "I'd like to resolve my divorce as quickly and inexpensively as possible, but my wife and I just can't stop fighting. Is it still possible to use Collaborative Divorce?"
  Chicago, Illinois divorce attorney Sandra Crawford answers: "All separating couples are under the stress which triggers the basic "fight or flight" human response..."
• "My husband says we'll save a lot of money using the collaborative approach because we will share a lawyer. Is that really how collaborative law works?"
  Northfield, Illinois divorce attorney-mediator Sandra Rosenbloom answers: "The collaborative approach can help keep your legal fees from skyrocketing out of control..."
• "My wife is interested in using Collaborative Practice to settle our divorce. We don't have a history of collaborating terribly well in our marriage: is there any chance this method would work for us?"
  Illinois family law attorney Sandra M. Rosenbloom, answers: "One of the most important aspects of the Collaborative approach to divorce is the opportunity to keep the decision-making..."
• "Can collaborative law help me settle my divorce more amicably? How is it different from mediation?"
  Illinois family law attorney Sandra M. Rosenbloom, answers: ""Amicable" and "divorce" do not have to be incompatible words. A broken marriage does not..."
• "What is 'collaborative family law'? How does it differ from divorce mediation or litigation?"
  Chicago divorce lawyer and mediator Kathryn Somers answers: "In collaborative family law, both parties sign a contract to resolve each issue in the divorce without litigating..."

Emotional/Relationship issues:

• "I would like my divorce to go smoothly, what advice can you give me?"
  Illinois family lawyer Jamie Ryan, answers: "it only takes one of the parties to make a divorce acrimonious…"
• "My ex-husband and I divorced five years ago, but we've recently started seeing each other again, and he wants us to remarry. Is this a good idea?"
  Chicago, Illinois divorce attorney-mediator Karen Covy answers: "Only you can decide what's best for you. But be careful. Try to remember why..."
• "I've heard of people having 'divorce ceremonies'. What's that all about?"
  Charlotte Eulette, the North American Director of the Celebrant Foundation, answers: "In a ceremony of this kind, friends and family gather for their honored friend..."
• "Should we stay together for the sake of the kids?"
  Chicago and Northbrook, IL divorce-recovery expert Rick Tivers answers: "Staying together for the kids sounds admirable but may, in fact, present other challenges..."
• "My marriage is in trouble. What steps can I take to save it?"
  Illinois social worker Karen Grais Meyer answers: "Many couples have devoted only a fraction of their time to working on their relationships..."
• "My spouse told me he/she wants a divorce. Is the marriage over?"
  Illinois divorce coach and marital therapist Wendy Wiles Kase answers: "Mentioning divorce does not mean the marriage is over, but threatening it can sound a death knell..."
• "How do I ask my spouse for a divorce?"
  Illinois social worker Karen Grais Meyer answers: "However you choose to tell your spouse of your decision, be certain that you do it in a safe way..."
• "They say I should start to date as soon as possible. Do I have to 'get right back on the horse' immediately, or will I be alone forever?"
  Skokie, IL social worker Jill Fein Baker answers: "You may believe that the divorce has given you new clarity to be able to pick a better partner..."

Property issues:

• “I inherited money from my parents during our marriage. Do I need to share that with my soon-to-be ex?”
  “Not if the inherited money was placed in an account only in your name, or if you, alone, used the funds to purchase an asset titled solely in your name. If you commingled the…”
• “Should I move out of the house? Will it affect the result of my divorce from my husband?”
  “It is always best to remain in the house. Once you voluntarily remove yourself, your spouse will seek a court order granting him/her exclusive possession of the residence, and allowing…”
• “Will I get 50% of our family assets?”
  “In Illinois, assets are divided “equitably…”
• “I inherited money from my parents during our marriage, do I need to share that with my soon to be ex?”
  “That depends on what you did with your inheritance while you were married. If you put the money in a separate account in your sole name, and never mixed any of that money with marital money, then, chances are, you will not have to share that money with your soon to be ex.…”
• “I'm about to tell my spouse that I want a divorce. Should I empty all the bank accounts first so I have money for the divorce?”
  “As an attorney who concentrates my practice in Collaborative divorce and mediation, before directly answering your question, I would counsel you to consider whether or not you believe that your divorce has any chance of being an amicable one…”
• “Now that I am separated, I would like to raise my child in a different religion than what my wife wants. Can I do that?”
  Very often, custody is disputed because parents cannot agree on the choice of religion for the child. Under current Illinois custody law, the parent who receives sole custody also controls the child’s religion…”
• “Should I move out of the house; will it affect the results of my divorce?”
  Jay A. Frank a matrimonial practitioner in Chicago, answers: The short answer is “No,” you should not move out of the house while the divorce case is pending. While you don’t give up any legal rights to the house or abandon the house by moving out, there are legal and strategic reasons why you should stay in the house.
• “Will I get 50% of the family assets?”
  Candace L. Meyers a family law attorney in Chicago, answers: “Illinois is an "equitable division" state. This should not be confused with an equal division. This is also different than a "community property" state. A Judge will take into account several…”
• "The values of our home and stocks go up and down, how can we determine our overall assets? How would that impact my divorce settlement?"
  Illinois divorce lawyer, Author and Speaker Karen A. Covy, answers: "Assets are usually valued at the date of the divorce…"
• "Can I, or should I, keep the house?"
  Chicago-area Certified Public Accountant Linda Forman answers: "There's nothing worse than feeling that you're house-poor..."
• "Who should keep the house?"
  Evanston, Illinois Certified Financial Divorce Planner Nicole Brucker answers: "A complicated question. Many factors must be taken into consideration..."
• "How is it determined which of our property is marital and which is separate?"
  Chicago divorce attorney Jay Frank answers: "Illinois divorce law divides all property into two categories: marital property and separate property..."
• "What are the most common misconceptions about property and divorce?"
  Oak Brook, Illinois divorce attorney Margaret Bennett answers: "If you are considering a divorce, you may be surprised by these common misconceptions..."
• "Is it better to take more marital property -- like the house -- instead of spousal support or a part of a pension?"
  Chicago family lawyer and Certified Public Accountant Jeffrey Brend answers: "This depends entirely on how averse to risk you are..."
• "My ex-husband and I are selling our home and I'd like to make certain that we get the most we can for it. Any suggestions?"
  Illinois real-estate broker Georgia Pierini answers: "To maximize your potential, there are several things you can do..."
• "I'm thinking of buying my first house. What are the steps I should take?"
  Illinois real-estate broker Georgia Pierini answers: "The first step is to locate and speak with an experienced mortgage banker or broker..."
• "How is marital property classified and characterized in Illinois?"
  Chicago, IL divorce lawyer Kimberly Anderson answers: "Marital property is property purchased during the marriage or in contemplation of marriage..."

Tuesday, February 14
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Preparing for Divorce Mediation - 5 Steps of Negotiation Power to get what you want
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